One year living in Portugal: Lessons learned as an expat :)

I’m not sure if I’ll ever get 100% used to the idea that I’m actually here, and for a full year now. Every time I look out my window and see the sunset in Praia da Parede, where I live in Cascais, I wonder if I should pinch myself.

This also happens when I visit somewhere for the first time, like when I went to Sintra a few weeks back and went to this amazing palace in the picture. Surprisingly enough, sometimes it happens when I’m walking through a tourist attraction I’ve been over 30 times already, like Pra?a do Comércio in Lisbon, and I’ll probably be there so many times this next year again and will continue to be amazed by it.

With all of this I want to say that I’ve spent this past full year feeling like a tourist in my own home; how crazy is that?

Of course this comes with countless positive emotions, like the excitement of doing something for the first time ever or just the breathtaking admiration of sightseeing in one of the most beautiful cities in Europe. It also generated feelings of loneliness, insecurity and fear, all of these while going through tasks or generic experiences that are fairly common to Portuguese folks that have lived here their whole lives, but to me they are still part of a new reality.

This journey of being a tourist at your own home will teach you something. Most importantly, about yourself. So here is what I took from this first year:

First and foremost: I’m a badass.

I’ve heard from people before that I’m a brave person, not only for this experience. but also for when I made the decision of moving out of my parents’ house at 15 to pursue a dream of becoming a professional athlete. Obviously it didn’t work, but also provided immense personal growth, like this current experience. One thing is to hear from others that you are an (include an adjective here) person; another is to believe it yourself. Any person you might know that made the decision of leaving all they knew behind and starting a new life from scratch, let me tell you, among their biggest attributes: being brave is one of them. This year I finally embraced and started to feel proud about how courageous and strong I am. The best part is that even if people stop telling me that this is how they see me, I won’t stop believing it. It’s part of my personality and I see myself for who I am. This is truly liberating, I must say.

We forget to appreciate the small beautiful things.

The story I mentioned about the sunset in my window is true; it’s truly amazing (no need to take my word for it; here is a picture). However, even though I didn’t lived by the ocean back then, the sunset in Porto Alegre and S?o Leopoldo where I lived in Brasil were also outstanding. I also don’t see people stopping everything they are doing here to admire what I admire everyday in this picture below. I’m sure there is a way we can start appreciating these things without needing to move overseas. I don’t have the recipe, but you might want to add figuring this out to your new year goals, like I did.

You’ll never regret taking actions that get you closer to truly living your values.

I’ve always loved all types of animals, and when I decided to adopt my cat, I received criticism for the implications and responsibility of taking care of a pet by yourself. When I decided to bring her with me to Europe, I also had to hear some comments about the complexity involved in bringing her. I’m sure these people thought they were providing valuable advice, as indeed it’s a lot of responsibility to take care of an animal’s life. Overall, through a stressful situation like moving and exposing them to such a long flight. However, the loneliness I told you before, which is perfectly normal and expected when moving abroad, might be only manageable thanks to my lovely cat's company. In a place where you have no family and are still trying to make friends, your pet becomes your whole life, even more than it already was. People will always have opinions about the way you live your life, but none of them should get in your head about doing what’s right for you. No one will ever know you as well as you know yourself, which includes how deep are your feelings about your pet and your ability to take care of them. Just trust your intuition and #noregrets.?

Give yourself time to adjust.

This has been an ongoing topic with my therapist. I’m used to being fast paced for many things, which ended up being the case for some aspects of my move. It’s human nature to compare, and when comparing myself with people that did this same move, in just a few weeks, my life was "totally figured out". This of course, relates to operational things: finding a house, sorting out documents, adjusting to new work, and everything related to the physical move. However, the relational part was challenging and still is. I’ve again and again asked my therapist “what’s wrong with me” due to the challenges of making friends in a new place. When she helped me remember some of my best friends from home, I know for over 20 years. It’s ok to give yourself time to adjust and not expect quick solutions to big matters, like your "chosen family". So this is me and my fearless selfie-stick, mastering solo travels while I don’t have a group of friends to tag along.

Between all the craziness, I’m glad one central area of my life provided stability.

I've always invested heavy energy into my work, almost crossing the line of workaholic at some points. A big reason for that is how passionate I am about my job, and this has been the one stable part of my life this past year. I was fortunate enough to be presented with an exciting job opportunity, within a company I already work for and love, SAP. Even though there were some changes in my job, the company culture remained the same and my core task too. In other words, everything that made me passionate about my job followed me from the south of Brazil to sunny Lisbon.

Some people go through big changes with their partners or families, or they already have loved ones living in the new place. Whatever it is, there is usually one portion of stability between the craziness. I’m glad mine was my career, an area of my life I’m so invested in and passionate about, and that has provided a feeling of home while I was figuring out my place on another continent.

Being an expat it’s different for each of us; we face different challenges and see beauty in different parts of the journey as well. Your background, your home country, your host country, your mindset, and goes on and on the list of variables that will make this experience unique for you. This is just me telling my story and a few lessons I’ve learned during my first year (of many, hopefully) living in Portugal.

I hope this adds some value for anyone going through this journey or planning this for the years to come.

Cheers to learning even more during year two :)