One Year Later: What I’ve Been Thinking About Since Quitting My Job

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October has always been an important month in my career. In October 2010, I started working with my Executive, Adam, and was introduced to the wild and exciting world of real estate. In October 2013, I pitched the Chief of Staff role and “promoted” myself. And my second co-authored book was published in October 2023.?

One year ago, after 13 years of working side-by-side with Adam as an executive assistant, communications partner, recruiter, operations manager, co-founder, personal assistant, podcast co-host, events manager, co-author, coach, leader, Chief of Staff, and just about everything in between, I officially stepped down as Force Multiplier.?

This decision did not happen lightly (Hello! I’m an overthinker!) Working with Adam over the last 13 years wasn’t just a chapter of my life, it was a whole damn book!?

Now, 12 months later, you would think that I’ve had some profound awakening, some major life epiphanies, or had a specific breakthrough.?

Well, sorry to disappoint! The past year has been pretty ordinary. I didn’t spend my career break traveling or writing my memoir (though I did write an outline!). I didn’t drastically change my habits or routine. In fact, I didn’t change much or do much at all! Which may be the biggest lesson I learned. It is actually validating and affirming when you realize the life you’re living is pretty damn great!?

So, rather than share some half-baked lessons, I’ll let you in on some of the random things I’ve been thinking about this past year. Enjoy!??

Detoxing from My Job

Even though it was my choice to leave my role, it was still highly emotional for me. I remember packing up my office and loading the last box into my car. And crying all the way home (which is like once a year occurrence, if that, so the sadness surprised me!). I was leaving everything I had known, my whole identity really – wonderful co-workers, interesting work, and yeah, a steady paycheck. So, while the plan was to take a break, assess what’s next, and rediscover who I am, it still felt like venturing into the unknown. I, mean, who am I, if I was no longer Adam’s Chief of Staff??

I don’t think it’s talked about enough just how much you have to give of yourself when you are in an Executive Assistant, Chief of Staff, or any Force Multiplier role. I mean, your primary responsibility is to ensure the success of another individual. In the best situations, your success is mutual. As you work to maximize the effectiveness of your Principal and ensure their agenda is executed, so too, will your career grow and success multiply. But there is a mental and emotional cost of being in a role that requires you to, in essence, become the clone of another, and subjugate yourself to your Principal’s needs. Where does that leave you in everything?

Now, don’t get me wrong, myself, and most Force Multipliers I know, enter into this contract with eyes wide open and understand the sacrifices associated with the role. But, it is worth mentioning that just because we have agreed to it, that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.

For the first several months after I left my role, I really felt like I had to detox from the addiction of email, solving problems, and worrying about someone else’s success all the time. For months after leaving, I would still email Adam and the team with little reminders, new ideas for content or event speakers, or interesting books or podcasts he might like. I just couldn’t help myself! Force multiplying for Adam and his team was a hard habit to break.?

As time went on, the urge to help or check-in slowly dissipated. And I often had to remind myself that as great of a partnership as Adam and I had, it was still a job and that my job was over. I could stop and just focus on me!?

And, “me” was a whole project that needed my full attention. I had to remember that I had other interests outside of work. They were always there (like reading, coaching, creating content, healthy living, spending time in nature). I just needed to create space for them! So, I did.

Redefining What Work Means to Me?

My career and work-life have always been extremely important to me. I’ve suffered through babysitting the neighborhood kids for a crisp ten-dollar bill. I pushed myself out of my very thick introverted shell to network with local business leaders and talk about the power of partnership on stage in front of 10,000 people. I’ve cleaned bathrooms working retail shifts, started a side-hustle doing freelance PR during my first Executive Assistant job, picked up trash after countless events, created a Chief of Staff role for myself, entertained countless candidates and event attendees, helped an entrepreneur bring two books to life, and just about everything else in between.

And every one of those experiences was worth the long nights, the imposter syndrome, the self-imposed pressure, the leadership challenges, getting uncomfortable, unmet expectations, the joy, the tears, and the many, many lessons learned along the way.

Every work experience was worth it, because I made it work for me.

This past year I’ve done a lot of thinking about work in a more practical context. Look, I’m all for enjoying the work that you do (and if you don’t let’s make a change). However, at the end of the day, work, in the context that we are talking about it, is about doing activities to create a desired result – for an exchange of money. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or an employee, you’re not doing the work out of the goodness of your heart. You’re doing it to earn a living. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I think we need to talk about it more – whether it’s about salaries, investing money into a new business, what you’re charging your customer’s for a service, or if you’re increasing pricing on your products.?

I like making money. I like making an impact. And I like the options and opportunities that come with that!?

I mean, in a typical working period of 50 years, 24% of our time will be spent working. It’s a huge part of our lives and should get a proportionate amount of our focus and energy—without allowing it to consume us. Yes, it is a thin line, a balancing act, and a delicate dance that is definitely worth learning.

Work gives us purpose and helps us grow as individuals. Work is an outlet for our personal projects and passions. Work funds our ideal life.?

I’ve always said how much I love working and was even a self-proclaimed and unapologetic workaholic for many years. But what I think I really loved was the “high” of achieving – I just happened to be able to get that need met through work. And, okay, yeah, let’s maybe just call it what it is… I was addicted to the pursuit and attainment of success! But when I stop and think about it, what what I was most interested in “achieving” was coming up with new ideas, creating, contributing, leading, solving problems, and “force multiplying” other people’s goals and potential.?And, as I still enjoy that, but it no longer feels compulsive (which is freeing!).

I like getting what I want and I like helping other people (particularly entrepreneurs and Force Multipliers) get what they want in their lives, careers, businesses, relationships, etc. How I do that has also evolved. Instead of focusing on one Principal or company, I am excited to expand and help hundreds and thousands of leaders, organizations, and Force Multipliers. And, I’ll do it the best way I know how, by sharing information and creating content and resources that hopefully encourages you to think and grow in new ways.?

So what does work mean to me? Sometimes it’s easier to define something by sharing what it is not. Work is not a family . Work is not my purpose. Work is not my identity. Work is not our life, but just a part of it.?

To me, work means creating an income that supports the life I want to live. And there are so many wonderful ways to do that that I’m looking forward to exploring in the years to come!?

I also believe deeply that we need to take ownership of our work – whether that’s our careers, creating multiple streams of income , or building a business. We have so much more control than we think we do and we need to own it!?

What Have I Accomplished??

Listen, when I first left my job, I knew I was going to take a bit of a break. I also knew I wanted to coach entrepreneurs and Force Multipliers, develop a course from my 15+ years of executive support experience, write more books, get in shape, and enjoy life!?I was going to be the best, most productive, most self-aware, soul-searching career breaker there ever was! Which lasted a few weeks.

And, while I have made progress on most of those things (I’ve lost 30 pounds and counting, I’ve coached several clients and hosted a cohort, I took over ownership of The Founder & The Force Multiplier , I started writing The Inner Circle newsletter again, and my course is scheduled to launch in early 2025), they have been going much slower than I thought. Because, I just haven’t spent as much time working this year! And, right now, I’m okay with this. No regrets.?

Although, my desire to NOT work, did surprise me. After 20 years or so of centering my life around work, career, and achievement, it was kind of a 180. It definitely made me pause and consider how to rebuild work into my life in this next phase. And I’ve been ramping back up the past couple of months as I’ve gained more clarity about how I want to show up and serve.?

Books, Books, and More Books?

If you’ve been here for a little while, you’re no stranger to the fact that I love my books. I’ve read about 100 books over the past year, and here are some of my favorites.?

• The Portfolio Life: How to Future-Proof Your Career, Avoid Burnout, and Build a Life Bigger than Your Business Card by Christina Wallace?
• Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver?
• Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
• Private Equity: A Memoir by Carrie Sun?
• Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More than They Expect by Will Guidara?
• Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin?
• All the Colors of the Dark by Chris Whittaker (This may be the best book I’ve ever read!)
• Buy Back Your Time: Get Unstuck, Reclaim Your Freedom, and Build Your Empire by Dan Martell
• The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine??
• Assistant to the Villian and Apprentice to the Villian by Hannah Nicole Maehrer
• American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins?
• Be Ready When the Luck Happens: A Memoir by Ina Garten
• The Burnout by Sophie Kinsella?

One thing I know for sure is that in addition to The Force Multiplier Academy (which will include a monthly book club!) and The Founder & The Force Multiplier, I will be including books a lot more in my work moving forward. To start, I recently applied to volunteer at my local library. And, I plan on doing a lot more book content over on Instagram . Happy reading!?

The Executive Assistant vs. Chief of Staff Debate Continues?

The Chief of Staff and Executive Assistant debate seems to keep ramping up… and I’m not really here for it. Because it is not black and white. And I would be out of integrity with myself and doing a disservice to Force Multipliers and entrepreneurs if I claimed that there was a “right” way to build a business or career.?

This is why I often go back to the Force Multiplier title and role . There are way too many variables. The Chief of Staff, and Executive Assistant, and Executive Business Partner roles, etc. are all incredible career paths with lots of opportunity. But making yourself indispensable as a right hand partner should be the focus. I have always believed that if you do exceptional work, provide value to your Executive and company, and advocate for yourself if/when needed, the money (title/promotion/opportunity) will follow. But the respect will only come if you do the aforementioned.

I will continue to champion those who are doing great work helping with universal titling, releveling, and compensation conversations.?

I’ll be over here focused on my mission of helping entrepreneurs and leaders find their right right-hand partner (regardless of exact role or title), creating strong strategic partnerships, and building incredible businesses and careers along the way.?

Slow & Sustainable Living Neophyte?

I have definitely been going more “internal” over the past year. I’ve been on social media far less than usual, and am really curating my input, “listening” 10X as much as I share/post, and focusing more behind the scenes of building resources for the Founder & Force Multiplier community. I’m watching. I’m learning. I’m working. I’m just not sharing everything I’m doing… yet!?

I’ve also been very into the slow living movement – which is simply a mindset whereby you create a more meaningful and conscious lifestyle that’s in line with what you value most in life. As an extension of that, I am really paying attention to how much I consume. I’ve never been that into “stuff”, but now, when I do consider what I bring into my home or what I eat, I also think about how toxic it is, how long it will last, and if I really need it. I’m starting to plan a garden for next year. I’m replacing all of my cleaning supplies with ones I make myself. I even started going to the library (though, I know I won’t ever completely give up on buying books – it’s truly my one vice!).?

I generally have no idea what I’m doing! Because for the past 15 years, I’ve lived a life of mostly work and anything outside of that was based on pure convenience. And convenience and quick fixes (in food, fashion, lifestyle, fitness, home decor, etc.) are not always the best option. So, I’m figuring that out too. Please email me with recommendations and tips if you’ve got this slow and sustainable living thing down!?

What’s Next??

Here’s what I know. This past year didn’t change my life. But, I wouldn’t change a thing.?

Sure, there were moments when I questioned giving up a really great income at a job and company I was comfortable at. There were days when I was bored or watched too many episodes of Gilmore Girls. And there are still nights when I obsessively outline best and worst case coaching and course sales projections, with various P&L models.?

I’ve also loved being able to read so many books without thinking about how I can implement the frameworks into my former company. I’ve enjoyed spending afternoons outside with my dogs. I’ve absolutely loved meeting so many incredible business women for virtual coffee chats or in-person lunches to talk about business, growth, careers, and more.?

Every day I gain more and more clarity about who I am, how I want to spend my time, what I want to create, and how I want to serve. I remain more committed than ever to serving Force Multipliers and business owners, to coaching, and creating content. And to building an intentional life, full of nature, books, real food, and thoughtful conversations with interesting people who want to (and are willing to) create a life they love.?

There is so much more I could write. But I’ll leave it here for now. And thank you for reading if you made it this far! If you have any specific questions about my Chief of Staff career, the decision to leave my corporate job, building a brand, books, launching a course, solopreneurship, or anything else that’s keeping you up at night, email me! I love helping people forge their own path in this world!