One Year Alcohol-Free: Takeaways from a Lawyer Who Never Swore Off Drinking

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”?—Robert Frost

I remember the last time I drank vividly: I had two stiff cosmos prepared by one of my favourite bartenders at a swanky spot in London. They were perfect: pink, refreshing, and just the right amount of zest—a dangerously tasty combination.

It was 5:00 PM on August 29, 2022, but this was no ordinary Monday evening. I had just received the news that I won the?Middlesex Law Association’s Rising Star Award?and went out to celebrate. I was so caught up in all the excitement that I unintentionally skipped dinner. By 7:00 PM, I was back at home, and I was tipsy enough that I had to nap it off. At 8:00 PM, I woke up with a hangover.?

I was no stranger to that unpleasant feeling: the week before, I had been in Montreal at a Rammstein concert. After enjoying the generous pours of complimentary wine on the VIA train from Toronto (business class perks!), I was ready to rock for the evening.

Around midnight after the concert was over, I had to run outside of the A&W I was trying to get food at downtown to throw up. Or so I thought: nothing came out, not even bile. While leaned over in that alleyway, I dry-heaved so hard that it felt like my abs were on fire.

In both of these more “recent” instances, I felt fine the next day. I had no more than a handful of drinks and they were all consumed several hours before I went to bed. Still, even during my early twenties, which easily encompassed the worst of my binge drinking and next morning hangovers, I never once said: “I’m never drinking again!” But August 29, 2022—that would be the last time I would feel the effects of alcohol, and the last time I would be hungover. I just didn’t know it?yet.

Within days of consuming those two final cosmos, I came across a news article stating that?Canada’s Guidance on Alcohol and Health?were going to be updated. The?CBC headline revealed that the new guidelines would dramatically reduce what was considered low-risk drinking, ultimately suggesting no amount of alcohol was safe.

“Two drinks a WEEK?” I exclaimed as I read on. I was a social drinker who mostly indulged on weekends, but I was generally drinking a lot more than two standard drinks a week. I took some time to go through the guidelines and process what I was reading.

Although I had never considered quitting alcohol, it’s true that I had already been sober-curious?and cutting back. I also remembered that earlier in the summer, the registered dietician I was working with to improve my digestive health suggested that I eliminate a few things from my diet for a few weeks, including alcohol. It made a big difference.

Suddenly, everything clicked. While others became defensive at the announcements or joked about them, I saw the proposed guidelines as an invitation to improve my well-being, and I knew deep down from that moment that I would never be a drinker again.

For a while, I told friends that I was sticking to what felt good. Some asked if I’d ever drink again. I skirted the truth to avoid judgment from the?almost 77% of Canadians who drink, and stuck to the observable facts: “I haven’t drank in a while and it’s improving my digestion, so I’m sticking with that right now” and “I stopped drinking a few weeks ago and I sleep so much better, so I want to keep that going” were some of my common lines.?

Most people were silent or hesitant. Some even made negative or disapproving remarks: “What’s with the non-alcoholic drinks?” I stuck to the facts. “But you’ll be “good” (aka drinking) for your Halloween party,?right?”?I felt surprised and slightly annoyed as to why it would matter to others whether I drank or not. As with most things, I have realized that these types of judgmental reactions have more to do with other peoples’ own insecurities than with me.

Only one friend I told was immediately and enthusiastically happy for me from the outset. I hadn’t seen her in months, but when we did get together, it often involved drinking. “Congratulations! That’s SO EXCITING! She squealed without skipping a beat as we grabbed brunch at a non-LLBO breakfast joint. “We should do more sober things together!” She didn’t know it, but in that moment, she showed up for me in ways that many people closer to me hadn't.

This is of course barring my family, all of whom are supportive of any great decision I make—one of my sisters, who is a bartender, proudly exclaimed: “I got my boss to add a mocktail on our menu so that you can keep coming out. It’s called a Peachy Keen Ginger!” I can confirm the Peachy Keen Ginger at Barney’s?is delicious, and I’m told they’ve since added six more mocktails to their menu.

The most defining moment of my journey was when I hit 90 days alcohol-free. I reached that three-month milestone with most people not knowing that I was on the wagon. I have not gone fully public about my sobriety until today. My secret weapon was and remains?Reframe, an app that uses neuroscience to help users build healthier drinking habits. The app contains daily readings, tasks, and challenges that taught me about the effects of alcohol on my mind, body, and spirit, as well as the benefits of cutting back. It works.

Reframe is also a sober support community. There are several daily meetings by Zoom for all sorts of people who are looking to quit, cut back, or learn more about the impact of alcohol. Users can attend from all over the world to observe any meeting. Participation is optional: most people sign in anonymously and keep their cameras off/stay muted.

I was eventually drawn to the 90+ day meetings, which focused on self-development rather than alcohol. The amazing host and coach, Jay Chase, really hit home every week with his teachings. “If you take away the titles, accomplishments, successes, trials, and tribulations, who are you, and why are you here?” I was inspired by those who had been alcohol-free for long periods of time and all the things they were accomplishing. “I left that abusive relationship.” “I got the promotion.” “I am so at peace.”

I did not think people could be that happy, healthy, and successful all the time, week after week. These individuals were hungry to be their best selves. I took notes and told myself I would start sharing at these meetings once I made it to 90 days alcohol-free.

My first share during the 90+ day meeting was on December 4, 2022. It felt amazing to turn my camera on and tell Reframers from all over the world how great I felt. They welcomed me with open arms and cheered me on. When I faced difficult decisions, these are the people who provided me with their literal sober second thought. I became an unofficial leader in the Reframe community, often the first to enthusiastically share my goals and the hard work I was doing to achieve them.

Being sober for 90 days allowed me to critically evaluate my relationship with alcohol. Old me never drank daily, and not every event was rager, but there was something inextricable between alcohol and life’s happenings for me. A celebration meant a drink.?On the other hand, a bad day usually meant two or more drinks. Stress is admittedly rampant in law, and having drinks was an easy way to blow off steam with colleagues.?

According to the?Canadian Bar Association, lawyers are about four times more likely to suffer from mental illness than the general population. In my experience, alcohol is normalized in the legal profession to the point that the act of quitting meant that I was taking the path less travelled. And I was fine with that because I knew that even if in the short-term, things seemed harder at times, in the long-term, I’d feel a million times better. New me is happier and thriving more than ever, and now you know my secret.

Here’s what happened when I stopped drinking:

My sleep improved tenfold. I’ve never slept as well as I do now. Not since I was a child. I thought I had insomnia. It plagued me for years, even when I only drank once a week or less. It’s shocking enough that it makes me angry that I had not put two and two together. Now, I almost always sleep through the entire night for 7-8 hours, and sometimes more if I feel like it. I’ll say it again: even as a busy lawyer, I rarely sleep less than 7-8 hours a night. I almost never use an alarm to wake up. I wake up well-rested. This is after over a decade of regularly struggling with sleep.

After I quit alcohol, any anxiety I would previously experience seemed to just completely disappear. I read about how substances like alcohol and caffeine affect our brains. I always loved coffee, but with how well I was sleeping, I no longer needed the kick. I switched to decaf. No more jitters or?hangxiety. I am much calmer. Even when things are stressful, I almost always feel fine, and I can much more easily self-regulate.

My skin was already decently clear, but now it glows. People have noticed. “You look so healthy.” My dad recently told some relatives back in Poland that I wasn’t drinking. I was worried what they would think, but to my surprise, their response was positive: “we can tell from her photos—she looks great!” If I hadn’t ditched all makeup years ago, I’d certainly be doing so now.

I followed my dreams. I launched my own fully bilingual law firm,?Velox Law Professional Corporation?/?Société professionnelle Droit Velox?and became a business-owner, a risk many never take. I had already been recognized for my success in my legal career, but now I call all my own shots and it’s just the beginning for me. I work significantly less hours and earn more. I travel as much as I want around my trial schedule.

I even went to Japan one month after launching my practice. Many people say they want to discover new and faraway places, but significantly fewer people do it. Almost no time or planning went into what became one of the best trips of my life. I reached out to a few people who I knew lived there, picked my flight, and decided what I wanted to do when I got there. No stress whatsoever. I was shocked at the simplicity. Things become significantly easier to accomplish when you’re clearheaded all the time. I already have five trips planned within the next year.

My relationships improved. By digging extra deep on my personal development, I changed my entire environment and entourage. I let go of all relationships that were no longer serving me, and even the ones I had come to love, but felt were holding me back. I can happily say that at one year alcohol-free, I have exactly zero toxic or even ambivalent relationships in my life.

I learned about attachment theory and decided to focus my time and energy on secure relationships with healthy levels of interdependency and reciprocity. I now better understand the struggles of more anxious and avoidant people, which makes me better at asserting my needs and boundaries to others so that I can better live my life and avoid unnecessary turmoil. I am protective of my time and who I spend it with. I ignore drama. I’m functional and happy.?

There are other benefits, including the digestive health improvements that brought me to cut alcohol out in the first place. The role alcohol plays in the?brain-gut connection?is being studied more and more for good reason.

So, take it from me: you don’t have to hit a “rock bottom” to make a life-changing decision. I decided to stop drinking during?a time I considered myself to be doing well in many areas of my life. Regardless of where you’re at: you get to decide when you stop digging. Everyone’s story is different, but we all have room for improvement. I’ve had my fair share of low points and struggles over the past two decades, and in hindsight, I feel alcohol certainly contributed to some of those times. Especially during my undergraduate days.

The clarity that sobriety brings is unreal. I learned that the ceiling of my past level became the floor of my current level. It felt scary at first, and it hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows, but it’s only onwards and upwards from here. I went from being an associate to a business owner, having a much better work-life balance, travelling more, and having better quality relationships. I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface and that the best is yet to come.

This journey isn’t for everyone. It can feel extremely dark and isolating at times. I found myself confronted with issues I didn’t even realize I had. It’s no surprise then that a significant amount of people who try to quit alcohol will drink again within the first year. It makes total sense scientifically why so many would struggle with such a change.

Alcohol is a depressant and affects our?hedonic set point?over time. Life becomes harder to enjoy naturally without all those extra hits of dopamine. It can take up to two years for our hedonic set point to fully reset. In a culture of instant gratification, it’s no wonder people continue to reach for a drink instead of putting the hard work in to reset their brain chemistry. I was up to the challenge, and it paid off. I have more fun at parties now than I did before when I drank. I get to ride my Harley home at the end of the night, and I wake up the next morning without a hangover!

I’m mad I didn’t realize how detrimental alcohol was to my life and how much better off I would be by not drinking it, but I also recognize there’s no point in dwelling on the past. I am grateful that everything lined up for me the way it did. I have grown so much in the past year, but I still have a lot of work to do. The real work is now just beginning. I’m a lawyer, I’m sober, and I cannot wait to seize the rest of my life.

I’ll end by imparting wisdom from?Jay Chase, who found his path to sobriety in a jail cell when he spent six months in prison: “in order to get something I've never had, I have to do something I've never done." I let go of the person I was to become the person I want to be. I will still attend Reframe meetings, but now, it’s to support others in their journey.

Any cutting back is beneficial, but if even one person is willing to critically think about their relationship with alcohol and consider it in a new light from a place of curiosity, even if they don’t feel like making any changes today, it will have been worth publicly publishing what is otherwise a very personal story.?

If you want a referral code for a free one-month trial to the Reframe app, whether it’s because you are sober-curious, you want help cutting back, or you want to quit drinking, feel free to reach out to me directly.

Sam Puchala is a Criminal Lawyer and the Founder of?Velox Law Professional Corporation?/?Société professionnelle Droit Velox. She is proud to be alcohol-free and is living her best life both in and out of the courtroom.