This One Wild and Precious Life

As our world appears to be settling into living with a pandemic, the words “Stamping it out” are a distant memory of the past.?We’ve surpassed over two years of mass personal adjustments resulting from Covid19 involving periodic losses of freedom and reduced socialisation while also working in very different ways.?Much has changed in the way we view things and do things.

Many people have emerged pondering what they really want from life.?Some are still struggling to adjust to all the changes and have been unable to reformulate living and working post Covid19 disruptions, in a world that is not like it was before, and likely won’t be again.

When major change requires us to adjust, readjust and readjust again that does one very good thing.?It teaches us that we can very much do so, when required and necessary.?When forced on us and having no choice we just did! ?Learning experientially that we can adjust to mass scale disruption of our lives (whether we liked or not that we had to) teaches we can do so again.?Now that we have more autonomy returning to make our own decisions and the world is opening up again for us, it is possible to shape new and wanted change for ourselves, even one’s previously unimagined, and then adjust once more.?

One of my many lockdown reads (a life-long bookworm) was the title of this post.?“This One Wild and Precious Life” a book written by Sarah Wilson and a book that spoke quite loudly to me given my own personal journey over the last couple of years.?

Involuntary changes in my circumstances were already filling my dance card not very long before Covid19 reared its head in the world.?There was already an unexpected and unsettling change in my health in the form of a blood cancer diagnosis I am still living with and managing.?There has been no treatment navigated (yet) but living with it has not been without considerable challenges requiring a frequent digging deep into the inner strength reservoirs to be able to continue with as much normality as possible.?Whatever that is now “normality” as I’m unclear and unsure and do not try and solve that one or fall down the rabbit hole of contemplation.

As part of my adjustment I became really clear on what was super important to me that would assist me to remain as healthy as possible.?These were things I’ve initiated as part of what I've called “Taming the Beast” within. ?Good nutrition, weight management, regular exercise, adequate sleep, minimisation of stress and staying connected with family and people who are able to be very real around me while also offering supportive friendships and relationships.?Pretty basic right??But also, pretty effective!

I ran into a work colleague from the wider Foodstuffs family at the airport recently who was still recovering from Covid19 and he shared with me that the worst part was the fatigue still experienced. ?I can totally relate. ?I experience constant fatigue, along with other issues.?However, unlike the fatigue being on the tail end of a viral illness that can be recovered from eventually, I’ve been living with it and managing it.?Fatigue being one of the most common side-effects of having what I have.?Knowing I can’t beat it or outsmart it in order to manage my life, I’ve adapted and in doing so learnt to live with it.?Not to fight it (as it doesn’t care if I don’t like it and will fight back just as hard) but to live with it - A big part of taming the beast so we can get along together in what is a less than desirable situation I can’t control.?Much like many people unnaturally forced into lockdown together or forced into isolation, found themselves doing when Covid arrived.

Because I have only finite energy resources available (that are a bit fickle at times) I’ve needed to adopt strategies to manage the fatigue in order to "Just do life".?It has however not escaped my notice that there are real parallels to make between my strategies adopted in order to “Keep on keeping on” and the things I see that people are not able to do for themselves as they find themselves approaching burn out.??So, in writing this I’ve decided to share my key strategies.?In order to turn things around when you seem to be faced into a tunnel of doom you really have to start doing something differently, yourself - you need to take control of what you can.

Some people experience ill health because they lost the spin of the wheel in the genetic lottery, and some experience it because they burned themselves out through working habits or lifestyle, or a combination of both, as some people turn on the genetic lottery through stress and burnout (that otherwise may have lay dormant in the background). ?Either way (as it’s too late once upon you) there are things you have control over and things you don’t have control over and it’s critical to know the difference and to know where to place your precious limited energy.

These following things help and support managing life when the wheel’s turned, or when you’re needing to turn the wheel yourself to instigate change, and adjust to it.

1. Clarify your Real Values

To me, what I call real values are very evident in the things you do and try to adhere to consistently, or don’t even have to try to as they don't require effort and repetitively do so even when nobody is watching or judging you.?They represent your innate character and “Internal Integrity Compass” and I’d go as far as to say our soul’s calling to us around personal authenticity.?Coming from a very natural place inside they need high personal value placed on them.?Behaving in accordance with our real values is done for the inherent reward to us, and not as part of a transaction with the world and others, in order to gain something in return.

For example, I could not tell you why I have always been an avid curious bookworm who’ll consume non-fiction for hours at a time (often philosophical/scientific literature) as I’m pulled towards it without ever getting bored.?There is no forcing, and no reward other than the inherent one that brings me back to book after book through curiosity.?I could not tell you why I have spent hours of my personal time in the past writing and publishing much of my personal insights onto social media (but certainly not for money).?I could not tell you why I value authenticity and honesty almost above anything else, I just do.?I also could not tell you why I’m strongly drawn to physical and sporting activities.?Just that I am.?These are examples of what I call real values.?I’m inherently pulled towards them and life doesn’t feel right without them and I’m not being authentic if I’m not honouring them, and including them in my life.

Through a lot of life and work experimentation I’ve managed to land somewhere I can bring my whole self to work now in how I show up and lead, and indeed in the way I work now.?Especially, with the newest challenges that came my way that impact my energy.?I know where my worth lies and where it doesn’t and remain clear on what’s worth doing.?I focus more on doing the things I can do well that support and enable others to do what they do well, and know it's important stay true to myself in the process.

I also know my worth doesn’t lie in:

a.??????My popularity: ?Being authentic doesn’t care about it – The people who matter don’t care, and those who care about this don’t matter.

b.??????A need to be validated and accepted by others: Clarification - When this means not being true to myself (see point a).

c.??????Wanting to please others: Well no, that was never going to be a thing for me!?I’ve too many years of “Stuff You” practice behind me when things are misaligned with me to even think I should have to (lol)

d.??????Having to be perfect or for things to be perfect: I understand completely that this is an unrealistic goal for anyone

e.??????Striving to prove myself: I’m enough and have done enough to continue to add value

To work out if I think I still belong somewhere I will regularly ask: “Am I (still) adding value here?” and this is a very different question than asking “What am I still getting from being here?”? The second question is based on a transaction mindset focused on what can be gained, regardless of what it’s doing to you.?A sure-fire method of thinking which “Sells out the soul” when prioritised.

2. Ruthlessly Prioritise:

There are two things we must ruthlessly prioritise to remain at our best.?One is putting our own wellbeing first wherever possible and the second is remaining true to our values.?Time and effort is best directed into alignment with what is important and necessary in order to stay engaged, curious and interested in life and continue making a valuable contribution that holds personal meaning.

Prioritisation in accordance with your real values means “You First”.?Clear on your values and on the value you have to offer others you look after yourself first and foremost, to ensure you can deliver on what?you have to offer of value.?It’s not even a nice to have, it’s a necessity to have.

Without adopting ruthless prioritisation I wouldn’t still be functioning as well.?Key has been knowing what restores my vitality, consistently prioritising this and knowing what drains vitality and finding another way to take care of those things (or cut them loose).

3. Create Strong and Healthy Boundaries with People:

Be clear on what you will do, and what you will not do.?Be clear with other’s that you will put yourself first and won’t be over-burdened with work, or unreasonable requests of you.?Be clear you won’t accept BS either.

When people are impacting your mental, physical or emotional health negatively you have a couple of choices.?Release them and let them go from your life or create and maintain strong boundaries with them.?Only you can decide which is more appropriate for you to do.?Sometimes your personal life needs a clean out, sometimes your work life, and sometimes your family life is incredibly challenging and you need to develop new strategies for dealing with some of them.?Doing so because you're honouring your limited emotional energy available.?Straight up honesty is required to be successful with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with other people who don't get this.

4. Adapt.?Adapt.?Adapt.

I earlier bought up the example of how we all adapted to Covid19 turning up in the world as it is an important example that we “Can and Do” adapt to disruption in our lives.?And once you’ve adapted to change, and realise it, this demonstrates you can if you need to and that you’re capable (even if it felt?awful and uncomfortable at the time).

It comes as no surprise to me when people have made the comment: “You’re one tough lady.” ?Yes, I’ve demonstrated sheer grit in many situations across my lifespan to date and I’m sure there will also come a time I don’t feel so steady on my feet, and I’ll adjust and adapt then too - I have been able to in the past.

Adapting to change (perceived as either positive or negative - chosen or unchosen) is the biggest flex muscle in life for us to build.?Because like it or not things will continue to happen we don’t like and if we’re too busy trying to fight our way out of a paper bag (useless ...) we’ll miss opportunities we would have actually liked (despite the unexpected way we may have got there) simply by being inflexible to change or to changing ourselves and the way we do things.

Final Comments:

The time we’re gifted in this world … is finite. ?

The energy we have available mentally, emotionally and physically… is finite.

The possibilities and opportunities available to us now will also eventually narrow, and disappear… they’re finite too.

When is there a better time to do something brave, aligned with your real values and setting out to adjust to it, than right now???Even just a small step in a different direction followed up by consistent progressive action will shift the dial to go in a different direction and life journey.?It doesn’t have to be BIG and scary to start with but it does have to be something you start.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself “What do you really want to do with your one wild and precious life?” ?I do, often. ??