For the one who... lost a job

It was October 13, 2019, just one month before my 6-year anniversary. Early in the day I got a meeting invite from the CEO. This meeting was scheduled close to the end of the day and only a couple hours after a team meeting. Immediately I knew something was up.

I didn’t stress it. Instead, I stayed focused on my tasks and continued doing my job the best I knew how.

At 4pm (a half hour early), the CEO came down to my office and asked if we could just bump the meeting up and get it out of the way. I grabbed a pen and a pad, knowing I wouldn’t need them, and joined him in the empty office around the corner.

The conversation lasted about a half hour as the CEO very respectfully walked me through the recent decisions of executive leadership to restructure some departments and outsource some responsibilities. My position had been eliminated.

We spent the rest of the time reviewing the severance agreement and expectations. I was given the CEO’s contact information so that I may use him as a resource or reference in the future. And, honestly, everything felt genuine and sincere.

When the meeting ended, I was left to clean out my personal belongings and I left for the day.

I texted my husband…

“It’s the end of an era.”

“Who’s”

“Mine”

“Ok, then. Time to move on”

That was the genuine feeling I felt, and he knew it. I was not angry at the company’s decision. I was not sad. And surprisingly, I was not scared about what the future held.

Why Not?

After dropping my son off at school, seeing my husband off to work, and coming home to a house that would remain empty for the next 8 hours; the dust settled… and I quickly grasped my situation. But for some reason, panic and fear still didn’t come into play. After a day of consideration, I realized that the reason for this was not denial but perspective. I did not see this lay off as “the end of the world.” It was a chance to build a new one. THIS was my opportunity to focus on the challenges I had been facing for months and an actual shot to finally overcome them.

You see, earlier in the year I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. I had surgery in July and began chemo in August. My prognosis was good, but it would require a year-long fight out of my body and mind. I was maintaining a pretty full work schedule and keeping up with all my responsibilities at work and home, but I was also exhausted and nauseous/in pain all the time. Being let go gave me the ability to take care of myself and focus on healing. It gave me the freedom to rest and recover. And although I only had two more treatments left, this blessing came when it was most needed. My family was going through some challenges as well.

The four of us were living in a tiny 2-bedroom/1-bath apartment. Not only were we quickly outgrowing the space, but the building was increasingly in a state of neglect since it had been put in pre-foreclosure. Around the time of my diagnosis, my husband and I decided it was time to start looking into buying a house. As if we didn’t have enough going on. We managed our schedules and were able to look at houses, speak to realtors and all appropriate parties and finally settled on a house that may provide everything we need for years to come. And this all happened at the same time as my termination.

I’m not going to lie, this is the part that gave some fear because, really, who buys a house with no job? Still, I kept faith that something would come along and the blessing I was given was time. I was able to organize, determine what would come with us in our new life or stayed behind, and pack so that once we closed and decided on a moving day we could settle in and never look back. Most people dread “moving day.” I could look forward to it.

But what about work?!

Yes. I wanted to keep working. Yes. I was hoping a new job would come quickly. Yes. I did what everyone does the minute they find themselves without a job. I updated my resume and began applying to every position similar to what I was previously doing.

It’s stressful not knowing what will happen financially or how long you will need to find ways to get by. But something else happens to you when you lose a job. Something psychological. Something emotional. When you’ve been in a job or career path for a significant amount of time, it becomes your identity. You begin to think that’s all you can do and that those are your only strengths. If you start your job search there, you can quickly become frustrated that the choices are few and far between. Or maybe you land a job “in your field” but begin to resent that feeling that you’re only as good as your current resume says you are. In my opinion, this is what leads to that stuck feeling or that “dead-end job.”

After being laid off, I decided I would just get a new job as quickly as possible. But then I realized that was depression and fear leading my actions. So, I changed my way of thinking.

What if made a list of all the strengths and skills I picked up through my entire career? What if I made a list of all the work I have enjoyed and why? What if I made a list of all the things I liked and didn’t like about my previous employer? What if I reviewed those lists? Would my job search look different? I believed it would so that’s exactly what I did.

What I found was that I still liked a lot of the work I was recently doing. I was learning a lot and it was a path that could lead to bigger things. So, I would continue to pursue it as an option but, I realized I had a desire to go a little backwards in my career. I realized that during my years in retail, I loved connecting with people and had pictured a career in recruiting. It was what I set out to do when I left retail and it was what I started out doing with my previous employer.

Much like life, things change and as I learned more and showed new strengths, my role began to change. With that, people’s perception of me changed. In time, MY perception of me changed.

It’s easy to forget about the impact of change on a person’s identity. So, when you lose a part of it the natural reaction is to reach out to the familiar and maintain the status quo. I challenge anyone who is looking for a new job, particularly those who have lost theirs, to change their perspective. Don’t look out at what you think you’ve lost and need to get back. Look inward and see what’s changed. Have you changed? Has the world around you changed? Look at the open road set ahead and make a plan to go where you truly want to be.