This Is One Way Not to Use Social Media

A long time ago in a place far, far away, I was a student teacher working with third graders. The teacher told the students to write a story. One student blew me away with her story. The wisdom in her story actually revealed something I didn't know about myself.

The story was about Sam who talked a lot.

And talked.

And talked.

Of course, he irritated everyone with his constant jabbering.

Then came the jaw-dropping ending.

It turned out that Sam was deaf like me.

Wow! A nine-year-old taught me a lesson about my life. Until I read her story, I didn't realize there was a reason for one of my annoying traits.

When I was a young'un, my softball team gave me one of the worst nicknames.

Ever.

“Mouth.”

Yes, it was because I talked too much.

The third-grader helped me realize that I had a tendency to talk more because I wanted to be part of the conversation. Since I knew what I was talking about, I could follow the conversation.

It wasn't that I wasn't interested in other people's thoughts. In fact, I believe in listening more than speaking.

But as a deaf person, I struggled to follow conversations trying to lip-read everyone and translate their mouth movements into words.

It can be like watching a tennis match.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Dizzy City.

What do well-respected people do differently?

We all know the value of listening. Admired leaders and well-liked people tend to be effective listeners who respond to what people say.

They don't try to think of the next thing they're going to say. They listen.

They stay quiet.

No interruptions.

They focus on what the speaker says, not on what they're going to say next.

Hello, Wall

Being all talk and no listen in social media is the same. It turns people away.

Companies and people with announcement-style updates give the impression they don't want to listen. Many well-respected people and companies do nothing but point to their own content.

They might get likes and follows in the beginning. But people will tune out when they realize they're a self-serving broken record. Broadcasting something after something.

It's like talking to a wall.

These folks post mostly articles with a title and link. Or they post a stream of quotes. Or they post only advice.

This won't cut it in social media.

Whoa there! Wait a minute, Meryl. Back up.

Advice?

Isn't that showing thought leadership and being helpful?

Not when all their updates contain advice. The person comes across as a know-it-all. And many of these givers of advice show zero interaction. Zero interest in other people.

How to share expertise and still have a two-way conversation

Of course, it's OK to share your expertise as long as you mix it up with other types of updates.

Even better — look for people who need help. Respond to them. Not only do you show know-how, but you also talk with people and help without expecting anything in return.

One-way conversation is not welcome in social media.

No listening.

No responding.

No service.

It's like visiting a corporate blog without the comments feature. It screams, "We don't want to hear what you have to say, and we don't want to risk someone saying something bad about our company."

Showing up is only part of the equation

Folks appreciate honesty and realness. Remember Avis' famous slogan? "We're No. 2, so we try harder."

How you respond to negative comments speaks volumes more than the comment itself. It goes a long way toward earning trust.

Customers forgive mistakes.

Customers don't forgive being ignored.

Social media success requires more than showing up.

It means joining conversations.

Listening.

Helping.

Responding.

Sharing.

Thanks to the third-grader, I pay greater attention to my role in conversations and work to avoid dominating them.

Listening and engaging is a breeze for me in social media. I don't have to worry about not being able to follow conversations.

There, I can truly listen and respond.

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About Meryl K. Evans

Meryl is a hearing-free native Texan who does digital marketing wizardry behind the curtain to help clients succeed. Clients come to Meryl to get digital marketing tasks done including email campaigns, website content, tech writing, website and process management, blog posts, and social media. Her why is getting results for clients and making her clients' customers happy. Connect with Meryl to talk digital marketing and tell her about yourself.