No one understands me!
Jasmine Navarro CPCC, PCC
Certified Family & Educational Well-being Expert | LinkedIn Top Voice | Creative Confidence Coaching Programme for Teens and Parents | RTT Therapist | Corporate Trainer | Speaker and Podcaster
No one understands me!
And that’s okay…
Feeling alone
It took me a while to realise that not everyone is going to understand me and to be okay with it. My realisation happened at a time when I was grieving and I craved understanding from someone very close to me. I tried to do everything to gain that validation, understanding and acceptance. And I just didn’t get it.
I was feeling so alone and just kept thinking, “if only they could acknowledge my feelings and my pain - then I could be happy and finally move on.” Of course this was not helpful or empowering to me at all.
But they didn’t. I kept thinking they should and that they will eventually, but it never happened. I felt stuck. I was letting their actions control my life, my emotions and my happiness.?
Realisations
Did I need their validation for me to feel validated, accepted, understood? Or could I give this to myself??
Did I need them to accept and notice my feelings to know they were worthy? Or could I do this for myself?
I’m not sure when, but one day the realisation came and it all clicked into place. I knew that I no longer needed validation from them, or for them to know the depths of my feelings.
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And actually, how could they truly even understand? They were not in my shoes, living my life, seeing my perspective.?
Validating myself
This was actually such a huge revelation for me - to know that I didn’t actually need anyone to validate my feelings or to tell me that I was (or wasn’t) feeling these feelings. Just because I wasn’t being understood, did not mean my feelings weren’t real and valid. Just because they didn’t see my sadness and understand or acknowledge it, didn’t mean the feelings were not real to me.
I knew I was the one who had to acknowledge myself, my feelings, my sadness and my grief. And only I could do that. Nobody could do it for me. Even if they wanted to, they actually couldn’t. They weren’t living in my shoes, so how could they?
Now I know…?
I do not need anyone to understand or validate me.?
My feelings are real.
I have to do this myself - for myself.
What are you waiting for someone to give you, that you can give yourself?
I’d love to hear from you, feel free to email and tell me??
Jimmy Clare is a Professional Keynote Speaker | Podcaster | Live Stream Host | and Autism Advocate
2 年I can relate to this
?????? Creating Powerful Mind, Heart, and Soul Shifts in Leaders: Because Who You Are Shapes How You Lead
2 年Great post! There’s so much freedom in being able to validate your own feelings.
I help SME business owners and SLT’s to bring transformational change to their businesses and lives, through effective strategy and coaching. Strategic Management Consultant | Driving Sustainable Profitable Growth
2 年Such a great post Jasmine. Luckily o too came to this realisation . It’s so liberating as it means I now don’t give too much thought to how people react or ‘are’ with me. Defo takes Work though
Empowering female coaches to align their energy and mindset to build a business they love and a life by their design | Lifestyle Coach | Made for More
2 年This is such an important reflection Jasmine Navarro CPCC, PCC . When I’m not feeling understood, I go into ‘what am I making that mean about me’? That’s led to uncovering a belief in the past, that I’m not worth listening too…which was why I was being triggered. Powerful stuff!
I bring "higher education" down to earth ?? this means I give people the Gemara tools they never got
2 年Quite a question there. Who hasn't!