No One Truly Heals in Isolation…

It went beyond just a bad day, to days, months, and even a couple of years of constant battle with depression which led me to some dark places.

?I still vividly remember how passersby dragged me off the highway as I almost got hit by a vehicle. I recall the day a Lagos bus conductor gave me a hundred-naira note, which looked like foreign currency. Co-passengers almost concluded I was mentally unstable despite my decent appearance. The conductor nearly slapped me for insisting he gave me fake money! The note genuinely looked strange to me that day. Then there was the time a bus took me past my stop while I stared blankly at the road, only regaining consciousness far beyond my destination. I trekked from the Barracks back to Fadeyi—if you know Lagos, you would understand! And those countless days I fantasized about diving into Lagos Lagoon, imagining the water washing away all my sadness. It didn't seem like drowning to me; it seemed like a peaceful escape.

One Sunday morning, I found myself at a gathering of young adults, called the Faithtrybers. It wasn't a magical first visit as I had become numb out of pain to Faith-based gatherings. Somehow, I went back again, and on this fateful day, as I listened to Tobe Nnadozie address the audience that morning, I could feel myself making a desperate attempt grasping at straws. It was raw and emotional, it was like pouring disinfectant on a fresh wound – painful but necessary. Each subsequent visit built on the previous, offered an empowering comfort and a sense of belonging I hadn't realized I craved.

This experience made me realize the healing possibilities of identifying with a community. Here's why finding your tribe is crucial in overcoming depression:

Connection: Being part of a community means you're not alone. You get to meet others who have faced similar struggles or even greater and emerged stronger. Sharing your experiences can create an immediate connection, helping you feel seen and heard. Although we often fear this, letting the emotions out is crucial.

Understanding: A community that focuses on mental health or shared experiences provides a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It's where you can open up about your struggles and find strength from those who truly "get it". Not everyone will understand why certain experiences can keep a person down, or how best to help. I remember a friend telling me, “You’re still sulking over that matter? What’s there in moving on? Even the people who hurt you have moved on and are living their best lives!” She probably meant well, but it came off as purely insensitive. Then, I found people who offered understanding without minimizing my pain. I transitioned from needing healing to forgiving without being asked, feeling an indescribable joy.??

Support: In a community, you'll find encouragement and support that are instrumental in your healing journey. It's a place where you can lean on others when you're low and offer support when someone else needs it. Together, you become a network of strength, not a pity party, or a clique of other hurting people on a revenge mission against those who have hurt them, or sometimes, against the world. I once found myself consumed by anger and bitterness, validated by the content and “hot takes” I fed myself with from other hurt people, it didn’t make me any better. The kind of support you need to heal and win is not the kind that strengthens your anger and bitterness but that which makes you free of them. In my desire to heal from the distressing pain, I found support from those healing and healed in the Faithtrybe community. The God I thought I had lost taste or wonder for, became all new to me again, like a taste of new wine.

Learning: Communities often offer valuable resources,? from coping strategies to professional guidance. It's a space where you can learn and grow, arming yourself with knowledge to better navigate your emotional challenges. In my early days of healing, every meeting at Faith Church always felt like they were designed as therapy sessions for my healing. Each time Tobe Nnadozie mounted the pulpit, I would cry all through the sermon and leave the meeting feeling strengthened to face the week. I never wanted to miss the next meeting time. They became essential nourishment for my weary soul, till I found the strength to rise and keep my head high at my workplace.

Hope: Perhaps the most powerful aspect of community is hope. Hearing stories of individuals who have triumphed over depression can be a beacon of light in your darkest moments. It reminds you that healing is possible and that you too, can find your way to wholeness. I had lost interest, zeal, and passion for many things that once made me tick. Talking about the future seemed pointless. But seeing people share their stories of overcoming their lowest points gave me hope. I began to look forward to new possibilities beyond what I had lost. I took courage and started again as a confused intern who’s past her mid-twenties, and a couple of years down the line, the narrative has changed. The same person who was convinced it was all over and had missed out on every chance of whatever destiny had for her is now leading teams on different projects across boards, with her passion and dream rekindled.?

I've seen firsthand the positive impact of community in battling depression. Whether it's a local support group like my Faithtrybe community, an online forum, or a group of like-minded individuals, finding your community can be a significant step toward emotional healing.

If you're on a journey to overcoming depression, consider seeking out a community that resonates with you. For me, it was a faith-based community. If you've already found your community, share your story. Your experiences can inspire and uplift others on a similar path.

No one truly heals in isolation; we're always stronger together.

#mentalhealthmatters #communitysupport #emotionalhealing #notoisolation