This One Thing is Ruining Your?Life

Do you hold onto?grudges?

You are ruining your life.

Every year, I set an intention. My theme of the year. It’s a subconscious thing.

Because I’m so intentional about doing better every day, my subconscious starts to make decisions to reach that goal. I do this by questioning whether my actions, thoughts, and behaviors are in alignment with my theme.

In 2021, my word of the year was CALM.

I was sick of ruminating thoughts, letting others ruin my vibe, and getting stuck in negative emotional states.

By December of that year, I realized I actually accomplished it! It wasn’t easy and took a lot of deep, dark shadow work and sitting with my emotions but there is nothing more worthwhile.

Innerpeace.

Well, nothing in life lasts forever but I was able to develop a mindset so that nothing can penetrate my peace… for a long period of time.

I let myself sit with emotions, but never for long. Life is short and you will never get time back when you were feeling sad or angry.

I learned how to switch emotional states on the fly.

We all have to deal with frustration in our lives whether it's at work or at home but fortunately, there are many tools at your disposal to deal with this. If you are intentional about making a change, you have to be persistent.

Wired For Negativity

Our brains are wired towards negativity bias — to see the negative in everything because its job is to keep us alive, thus constantly scanning the environment for danger.

Except there is no tiger chasing us anymore.

Instead, the dangers are triggers, people cutting us off, not agreeing with us, or when they challenge our paradigm — how we view the world through our own unique lenses of personal experiences.

So next time your inner peace gets shattered, try these strategies to help you stay calm when the pressure starts to build up and you are feeling frustrated.

Changing the way your thoughts work is a skill that can be grown like a muscle. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Reframe your thinking.

Instead of blaming or having all-or-nothing thinking, cognitive reframing is being able to catch unhelpful thoughts and shift them into something positive. You can train yourself to reframe how you think and behave and how you interpret external stimuli.

Ask yourself,’?is there another way to look at this situation’?or ‘what are other possibilities?’

Being aware of other perspectives will make you more resilient in the face of life challenges.

Take a deep?breath.

Breathwork is scientifically proven to send a signal to your nervous system to calm you down and bring you back into a parasympathetic state so you become present and are able to see the situation clearly.

Never respond right away. Instead, take a deep breath, step back and regroup your thoughts. Take some time to ponder over your frustrations. It’s never a good idea to react at the moment.

Aim to understand and not?agree.

Not everybody is going to think like you because we are all a sum of our experiences and existing beliefs. In order to overcome this, be open-minded and try to understand from someone else’s perspective rather than resist.

Everything you don’t know is a chance to learn something new.

Foster emotional intelligence.

Being able to control, evaluate, understand, reason, and interpret your emotions and those around you is a powerful skill. For some, it’s an inborn trait while for others it has to be strengthened.

Embody a beginner’s mindset.

A beginner’s mindset is constantly questioning, and reassessing conventions and archetypes– there are many possibilities and they are always curious. This mindset allows you to see problems in a different light and come up with unorthodox solutions.

Accept what you can’t?control.

There’s no point getting stuck on what you cannot control.

For example, being stuck in traffic or somebody else’s emotions.

You cannot control your external world but the only thing you can control is how YOU react and respond to things. I know it’s harder than it sounds but every time you catch can stop ruminating over things you cannot control, and just be aware and pull yourself back.

The more you do it, the easier it will get.

Put things into perspective.

Remember anything you do now know may not matter five years later.

Don’t let minuscule matters ruin your energy because there’s a solution for everything if you do allow yourself to step back and find clarity.

Identify your triggers.

Your subconscious mind is constantly filtering information and stimuli from the environment to give you impulses or actions that only reaffirm the narrow lens of your pre-existing beliefs.

Your subconscious actually controls 90% of everything you see, think, feel and do.

You can overcome triggers by accessing this part of your mind by constantly questioning anything you may be resisting.

When something at work triggers you, identify what it is. Be curious and explore where it came from– a past experience? Something that happened in your childhood? In fact, you should make it a practice to question all your thoughts and behaviors as personal development.

I recommend journaling or talking it through with someone to help process these thoughts and new insights you will come across to better understand them.

Remember, it’s not going to be easy but trust me, it’s worth it. There is nothing more valuable than inner peace.

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I write about discipline, consistency, showing up, hard work, no shortcuts, productivity, cultivating good habits, mindsets, abundance, wellness, spirituality, relationships, and creating time freedom.

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Stay curious. Plant seeds. ??