One Thing

“Remember Your Why” should be more than just another trite saying.? The phrase has the potential for deep meaning and inspiration, but unfortunately, it has been overused and has become a substitute for addressing systemic cultural and leadership issues within organizations.? Telling employees to remember their why is not a substitute for recognizing burnout, stress, and overwork.?

But in our haste to bristle and dismiss this overused phrase, we can still step back and reflect on what is the deeper reason we do what we do.? What do we genuinely value in this life?? What do we want to achieve?? And most importantly, why are those things important to you??

There is an exercise that I have used in my leadership classes that helps to get to one’s why. Students are put into pairs and asked to take turns interviewing each other.? The format is quite simple and consists of one question about work, followed by a follow-up question, repeatedly.? The interviewer asks their partner, “Tell me what you do?” They follow up the answer with a deeper question, “And why is that important to you?” And they keep asking this question over and over until the deepest and real reason behind what we do.? One year, I was doing this exercise on the first night of our MBA program (where I taught before coming to the U of A). One of the new MBA students spoke up before we even began the exercise and said, “This is stupid because I am here to make a lot of money.? I got my undergraduate degree last year in engineering because it is a field in which I can make a lot of money, and now I am going to get my MBA so I can make even more money.? Money.? That is my sole reason for being in this class and is the only reason I go to work.”? The rest of the class was silent with this quite vocal view of the exercise.

I approached the student and asked him if he would be my partner for the exercise, and he surprisingly agreed.? The students broke into pairs and the exercise began.? I began by asking, “Tell me what you do?” and he responded, “I am an aerospace engineer, and I design airplanes”.? So, I followed up with the standard question, “Why is that important to you?” He quickly replied, “Because it pays really well”.? I followed up with, “And why is that important to you?” and he quickly responded, “Because I want to make a lot of money.”? Again, I asked, “And why is that important to you?” Again, a quick response, “I want to be rich”.? I again asked, “And why is this important to you?”. This time there was a pause, and he was a little annoyed, and said, “I just want to be rich and have lots of money”.? I was persistent and asked again with a little deeper probing, “And why is being rich and having lots of money important to you?” This time there was a long pause, and slowly he began to open up to me about his life up to this point.? He shared how his life had begun in extreme poverty. He had grown up in a country ravaged by war, suffering, and despair.? He told the story of how his family was somehow able to escape the country and eventually make their way to the United States.? He was 9 years old at the time.? Along with his recent graduation with his bachelor’s degree, he had just gotten married and was expecting their first child.? He shared how desperately he was determined to provide a safe and secure home for his new family. He paused, wiped away some tears, and “said, I guess there is a much more important reason I am getting my MBA than making lots of money”.? He stayed after class and thanked me for helping him realize the deeper purpose behind his drive to be financially successful.?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtrQUoRJ_W4

It is easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and lose sight of what is most important.? It is easy to forget our why; or rather, it is easy to have not taken the time to reflect deeply as to what our real why is.

"Nothing is worse than climbing the ladder of success, only to find it is leaning against the wrong building at the top" – Stephen Covey

?You hear someone say, “I have to go to work” or “I have to do this meaningless report”, or dozens of other similar sentiments.? We have probably uttered them ourselves at times.? But these are not true; in fact, there are very few things in life we have to do.? You do not have to go to work; you do not have to pay taxes; you do not have to have to pay bills.? However, there are consequences to these choices.? Reframing our decisions as choices and not as forced actions frees us up to realize what is behind the work we do, and how we spend our time.? A few years ago, a friend was telling me about how much they hated their job and how they wished they could quit and start a small business.? I asked, what is stopping you? She replied, my small business won’t pay as well, and I will have to downsize from the nice house I am in and will have to drive an older car.? I said, So, having a big home and a new car is more important to you than owning a small business.? They quietly reflected and said, I guess you hit it on the head, I am not willing to move to a smaller home and get an older car just to start a business. ?She realized that she was choosing to stay in the job because of what it provided for her.? A couple of years ago, my friend was in a new job, with less pay, but one they did not hate, and they had downsized to a simpler way of life.??

Have a great weekend!

?It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?

- Henry David Thoreau