The ONE Thing I Did to Improve my Workplace Relationships

I arrived on site, expecting to accompany a consultant for 6 days. We were in the first week of a 6–8 month drilling program, and the site was still being set up. The exploration manager (EM) gave me a quick and confusing run-down, took me on a tour of the project area, told me I was supervising the project, then left site to head back to Perth. I was to oversee 2 contract geologists, 3 field assistants, 1 drilling crew, and the ground clearing/pad prepping, with another rig and crew due to arrive in a few days. I’d never done this type of drilling before—I didn’t even know how to get to the rig!

The field assistants and geologists hadn’t been given clear instructions about their roles, nor adequate on-site training in our procedures. The rock types and logging codes were new to everyone, and because I was the supervisor, they were all looking to me for guidance.

Thankfully, I did have one field assistant, John*, who had worked with this company before and was well-versed in how the EM liked things run.

I was stressed, flustered, overwhelmed, and under pressure. I felt so frustrated and angry with the EM for dropping me in the deep end and I offloaded to anybody and everybody around me.

‘Mel, can we chat?’ John asked. He looked very uneasy.

‘Sure John, what’s up?’

‘Mel, I don’t want to upset you, but…’ John looked so nervous, he was actually shaking, ‘Mel, you’ve been really negative. You’re bagging out the EM a lot and aren’t being a team player. It’s not nice. It’s not a nice work environment at the moment’.

John looked worried, really worried at how I might react to such criticism. I was appalled, disgusted, and angry—at myself. I took a deep breath.

‘John, thank you’.

John looked surprised.

‘Thank you for having the courage to raise this with me. I’m sorry that I’ve put you in this position but I’m grateful that you’ve taken the time to tell me. This is not the type of supervisor I want to be. This is not the type of person I want to be! Thank you for pulling me up on it. I will do better.’

And I did. I stopped venting frustration about the EM, and figured out a way to turn things around on site. It was hard, it was challenging, it was stressful, but within 3 days, we had the site running well. Everyone knew their roles and responsibilities and was trained (or in the process of being trained). This set the foundation for a successful program—one that I was then given an ongoing supervisory position for.

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My last post on bullying versus edification (linked here) talked about ways that we can cultivate a positive workplace where we encourage our peers and new geologists to have the confidence to challenge the interpretation, which is exactly what we need to advance our understanding of mineralising systems (I have a post on this too—read it here).

I’m not proud to say that the situation I related above was not that long ago. Despite ‘talking the talk’, I often fail to ‘walk the walk’. In fact, only a month ago on a contract, I had a field assistant say to me ‘Don’t talk to me like that’. I hadn’t realised my tone of voice was coming across far harsher than I ever intended.

I am stubborn, impulsive, lack tact, can be oblivious to social cues and am not always aware of the tone of my voice, especially when I’m feeling flustered or overwhelmed. I am far from perfect! These not-so-great traits have landed me in hot water more times than I’d like to admit. The fault lies with me, but it’s really hard to correct if I’m not aware at the time I’m doing it.

What change did I make to improve my workplace relationships? I still find it hard, and I still get nervous knowing the conversation I’m about to have, but I know the benefits outweigh any potential risk. Curious?

Here’s what I do now. When I start a new working relationship with people I’ll be working closely with, I actively ask for help. I admit my shortcomings and ask for help from my peers and my team. I introduce myself to people around me and engage in the usual small talk: ‘What do you do? How long have you been here?’.

I need to back up here and state that I do not do this with everyone—some personalities are not open to this type of approach; for instance, a bullying type may use it against you. However, once I’ve assessed the person a bit, I’ll say something like:

‘So, I’m pretty big on teamwork. I value the people I work with and think we all have skills and knowledge that we can add. It’s important to me that we have a respectful working relationship, but I need your help please. Sometimes my brain-to-mouth filter malfunctions, or I don’t recognise the tone of my voice, particularly when I’m feeling flustered or under-the-pump. I need you to please pull me up on it, in the moment. Even with a signal, like tapping your nose, or putting your hand on my shoulder and a gentle reminder to breathe. As long as it’s done in a respectful way, I will never get mad at you. I might get mad at myself, and need a moment, but I will genuinely appreciate that you’ve taken the time to help me recognise that behaviour in the moment, which helps me to grow, learn from it, and change’.

And you know what? I have NEVER had anyone laugh in my face or refuse to help me. In fact, I’ve found people have respected that I’m actively trying to improve myself and be a better team member and supervisor.

And what happens if they do pull me up? I stop, I take a breath, sometimes I need to walk away, usually because I’m angry with myself for falling into old habits. I make sure to always go back and apologise for whatever it is I was doing (e.g. talking in a rude tone) and thank the person for pulling me up on it. I let them know I appreciate them and genuinely did not mean to come across the way I did. And then I thank them again.

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I originally thought admitting my failures and asking for help from those in my team would be seen as a weakness, but the exact opposite has occurred. I’ve found that having an initial conversation like that mentioned above has meant working relationships are initially founded on trust and respect. My peers understand that I have good intentions and value them, and when I fail to come across that way, they know that they can pull me up on it.

People are hired in different roles, with different responsibilities. But that never means that one person or role is more important than any other. Although a supervisor/manager is responsible for those who work below them, their primary role must be to support others. When I’m supervising, I see my primary role as providing support to those in my team so that they can confidently fulfil their job role.

I firmly believe that those working on a project together are ONE team who are working together to achieve common goals, irrespective of the circumstances or the employer or the department they’re assigned to.

Once I took stock and admitted to myself that I was contributing to workplace culture issues, I took this one step—asking for help—to instigate change within myself. This has had a major positive impact on my workplace relationships.

If we really want to cultivate the type of workplace where edification is rife and questioning the interpretation is the norm, it starts from looking within and asking yourself ‘Am I being the best team member I can be?’

And if you aren’t, then I recommend asking your team for help—I doubt you’ll regret it!

* Not his real name

 Acknowledgements

To the teams I’ve worked with in the past, and those I work with now - thank you for your patience as I continue to learn these skills to help me develop into the team member and supervisor that I strive to be. The opinions expressed within this post are my own, based on my experiences within the mining industry.

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Melanie Hickman is a passionate and enthusiastic geologist, with practical experience in both mining and exploration. She is a naturally inquisitive person who thoroughly enjoys the challenges associated with developing an understanding of the various spatial and timing controls of an orebody, and ultimately, applying this knowledge to targeting offshoots and/or new deposits. Melanie has a first principles approach to geology and will not rubber stamp anything with a standard structural model, in efforts to discover the true controls. Melanie’s passion also extends to training and empowering the next generation of geologists with the skills and knowledge they need to succeed.