The one thing that feels even better than winning

I love winning. And if I can't win something, my next favorite thing is giving it everything I have. "It" can be almost anything. A?triathlon, a?DIY project, even (regrettably) a board game with my kids. One evening in the recent past, Dan may or may not have made a face directly at me in a silent effort to implore me to dial my competitive nature back (like waaay back) during a fiery family game of?Scrambled States of America.?

Which is why I was so thrilled to hit the pause button (literally) in the middle of the Boulder reservoir last week. It was my first organized open water swim since before the pandemic and I was thrilled to be back in that murky gray-green water. Also, I was tired. I'm not sure how much lap swimming you need to do for your lats not to be on fire a thousand yards into a your first open water swim of the season but I have yet to achieve that volume (if it even exists).?

So when I made a 90-degree turn around one of the bright orange buoys and saw one of the safety patrol guys on his stand-up paddleboard about 10 feet away from where I was swimming, I stopped to say hi.

In the past, I wouldn't have considered taking a break. I'd heard the safety patrol people radio'ing each other on their walkie-talkies saying things like "Let's keep an eye on this swimmer in the white cap. She looks tired." I would rather have drowned than stop to float on my back and enjoy the early morning sun on my face if it meant getting a spot on their watch-list.?

"How's the water?" the sandy-haired SUP guy asked me. "It's great!" I told him while treading water. Then I noticed a yellow kickboard trailing his paddleboard by a rope. "Can I hang onto your kickboard for a minute?" I asked. There was a time when resting during a swim would have made me question my identity. My self-talk would have gone something like this:You're weak! You're soft! You call yourself a swimmer??

Instead of berating myself, I asked myself a question:?Why are you doing this??

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