The One Thing That Changed My Entire Life
I needed to figure out how to change my entire life. Because the current one was going badly.
It was 2002. A lot of people had it bad. But sadly I didn’t care about them. I was really depressed. My entire career at that point had added up to zero.
There were some successes. But I squandered them. I decided to lose everything. And then I needed to figure out how to get off the floor but that’s when depression hit.
Here’s what depression isn’t: it’s not sadness. It’s not being upset at yourself or another person.
It’s “I can’t get out of bed.” And once you get out of bed, it’s “Why is everyone else even making an effort when things are so bad.” It’s “Why don’t I care about anything. I don’t care about myself. I don’t care about anyone else.”
And then it’s back to bed. If you even make it far enough to hit the street.
I started taking anti-depressants but they didn’t work. Years later, the man from the depression company told me that on average it “takes 8 years to correctly diagnose depression.”
I don’t know. I don’t know what it takes. But it didn’t work.
I describe what works in my book, “Choose Yourself!” Actually, I can’t say that. I don’t know what works. I just know what works for me.
But even before I did what I described, I had to do something else.
I had to borrow a life. I had to borrow many lives. Maybe I borrowed your life.
I had to read books. When you read a book you are taking someone’s entire life that they have nicely curated for you into a 200-400 page book that you can read in a week.
What! I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t have to live their life. I could just absorb it by reading it.
If they are good writers then that means I can emotionally connect with the words they are saying as well as intellectually connect by reading. I don’t just gain knowledge, I gain know-how.
I learn what they did to survive. I learned what they did to take action. To get off the floor. To laugh. To survive. To thrive.
Books were my anti-depressant. Then books gave me know-how to get off the floor. Then books gave me ideas. Then ideas gave me actions and actions gave me people and opportunities and a new life.
I am “what you see is what you get.” I don’t care about learning new things. I care about DOING new things. Facts are forgotten. But feelings give me excitement to do.
So when I read a book I like I get excited. Maybe I want to meet the author. I have a great excuse…”Hey, can you come on my podcast?” And now I get to meet the author and ask him or her all of the questions to help me save my life again and again.
I like to give away books. Maybe if they saved my life, they can save someone else’s. I hope so. We all need a little bit of saving every once in awhile.
All of the books on the list have most of these criteria:
- they helped me save my life. In at least one case, very literally (thank you Amy!)
- they are fun and easy to read. I’m not going to tell people they should read James Joyce’s “Ulysses.” Boring!
- they are all well-written. If you can’t emotionally connect to the book, non-fiction or fiction, then they will be a drag to read and you won’t be able to feel the effect on your life.
- most are non-fiction. But non-fiction or fiction, they tell stories and give information that make my life better. In some cases, much better.
After I read any of these books, I felt my life was actually better than before I read them.
And again, they are all written by great story-tellers. I love these people. All of them came on my podcast. All of them have been very generous with their time and their lives.
I borrowed all of their lives. And now I want to give those lives to you.
---
I’m currently giving away over 20 of some of the best books I read over the past year. Books written by some of the most successful entrepreneurs, celebrities, and all around choose-yourselfers. Click here to claim your entry.
Secretary at Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs
8 年I must have read hundreds of books as a kid, other kids thought I was crazy reading books and doing book reports for extra credit. Reading helped me learn a lot of different things I wouldn't have otherwise. You get to go on that adventure when you read that story. Fact or fiction, I read them all. Thanks for sharing your story.
Student at lyceum international school wattala
8 年can I get some copies of your old books I guess it will be useful for me
Heart-Centred Leadership / L&D / Communications Specialist ERS | Risk Management, Cert NLP Master Pract
8 年I have learned to accept that my choice to continue learning, growing and developing is necessarily disruptive and destabilising. Such a life necessitates navigating through both highs and lows, recognising that neither fully defines my life nor lasts infinitely - every experience has a beginning, middle and end, and this too shall pass. Having studied Spiral Dynamics: The Dynamics of Change, along with some really wonderful work from New Age teacher and researcher Caroline Myss, I have learned that the darkest times come when the old paradigm from which I was living has ceased to serve me and has fallen apart - I have outgrown it - and the new paradigm is still taking shape. This is the meaning of the familiar quote that the darkest hour is just before the dawn. One of the things that makes these challenging times more difficult is the common human tendency to look around and compare, yet we are comparing an internal experience shaped by very strong emotions against a projected reality based only on superficial information. It doesn't necessarily make it any easier to be experiencing one of those dark periods, but at least now I have been through the process enough times to recognise the pattern and see past my momentary discomfort. Often I find solace in writing, and if it gets to be too much, I escape in reading or even simply sleep! I am far more resilient, much more resourceful, and a lot more self-aware for having experienced these challenges, which then provides an even stronger and richer base from which to launch into the next phase. Hang in there James - life is full of adventures, and perhaps a mountainous landscape offers much more interesting opportunities and rewards.
Senior Executive Financial Recruiter
8 年I've always loved reading. I'll read some books 100 times- the story never gets old. I think my very favorite book is His Dark Materials trilogy. They are marketed as 'childrens books' but they are not. I first read them when I was in 7th grade, and then when I got to college I realized why I loved them; they were my into to philosophy!
Sr. Sales Executive
8 年keep up the awesome work!