The One Statement That Will Change Your Life.....If You Mean It

That headline is a big claim, but I promise you it's true.

I remember when I first started working with my own coach, a long time ago, she asked me to repeat a sentence to myself

" I love you Visa. I really, really love you"

I would say it, because I am a recovering people pleaser, but this sentence would feel like sand in my mouth. I wanted to gag as the words spilled out.

It's amazing how the human body physically reacts when we lie to ourselves. This sentence was deeply out of alignment for me at the time.

Once I said it, my coach would ask me to rate how true I felt this statement was in that moment. It ranged from a 5-7, but I never could go higher.

Why?

When I reflected, it would be because I wasn't where I wanted to be at in life. I hadn't grown my business enough, I wasn't making enough money, I wasn't a mother who liked playing with my kids enough, my house wasn't beautiful enough, my body wasn't strong enough, my business acumen wasn't enough, my teeth weren't white enough........the list was endless.

What holds so many of us back in life isn't that we aren't working hard or we aren't smart. It's that, we are our own worst critic. We tend to focus on our worst traits. We tend to obsess over all the ways we are falling short on life. This relentless focus (which we disguise as an effort to improve ourselves), shockingly leads us to stay exactly where we don't want to be.

My fear was that if I said I loved myself as I am, it meant I wouldn't grow any longer. I wouldn't succeed. My hunger would dissipate. My competitive edge would dry up. I was accepting defeat.

The very real question I feared is - what was there to love?

I struggled to find things I truly loved about myself, which is when I began to wake up to how much I truly despised myself.

Self judgement and self criticism is dis-empowering. It strips us of our power. It shames us and condemns us. It makes us shrink so we take up less space. It makes you feel hollow, which when you try to fill it with things, titles, promotions and recognition can't satisfy it long enough.

This was my life for many years, though on the outside, I was a high functioning, seemingly happy individual with a picture-perfect life. In fact, this self loathing and judgement seems to be most prevalent among high achievers.

So, I ask you to do this simple, yet highly effective test today. Go to the closest mirror and look yourself in the eye and say

"I love you ____________(say your name). I really, really love you".

How true does that feel? What thoughts come up when you say that?

Learning to love myself transformed my life. It was the secret sauce to creating a life that is now meaningful, fulfilling and FREE.

If you are ready to stop beating yourself up, constantly playing catch up and feel more in control of your life, I invite you to apply for a Clarity Call with me today.