One Simple Step to Avoid Conflicts: Stepping Into Each Other’s Shoes

Sometimes, all it takes to prevent a conflict is a bit of patience, empathy, and the willingness to see the world from another’s perspective. So many misunderstandings, even wars, could be avoided if only we’d stop, take a breath, and ask ourselves: what is it like to be in their shoes?

I was reminded of this over the weekend when a simple incident became a powerful lesson.

Last Saturday, I arrived at a church where I’d been invited to speak. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a group of young men playing soccer nearby. When I parked, I overheard one of them mutter, “Just let him park… I’ll make sure I hit his car on purpose.”

Instead of getting annoyed, I couldn’t help but smile. I knew exactly where those boys were coming from because once upon a time, I was one of them. It took me back to my youth, kicking a ball around with friends, dodging angry neighbors who didn’t want their walls splattered with mud or their cars parked too close to our “field.” Back then, we didn’t understand their frustration. It just felt like they were ruining our fun.

Only after I grew older, maintaining my own home, repainting walls, and spending hard-earned money on repairs, did I finally see the other side.

With this memory in mind, I stepped out of my car and asked them to pass the ball to me. They looked puzzled, but one kicked it over, and I juggled it a few times before sending it back. Suddenly, those tense faces softened, shifting from irritation to excitement. I could see the surprise in their eyes, the spark of connection that comes from sharing something as simple as a game.

“Uncle, we didn’t know you could play soccer! Wow!” they cheered, clapping and laughing.

I gathered them around and shared a bit of my own story, telling them how I was once a soccer-loving kid, just like them, and how frustrated I’d get when someone interrupted our games. But I also asked if they could imagine being in my shoes now and if they understood why I needed to park there safely for just an hour. I reminded them of the risks: hitting someone’s car could cause damage that no one wanted to deal with.

The tension melted away as we laughed, shared stories, and bonded over our mutual love of soccer. For a moment, I was back in my youth, but this time with a chance to pass on a little wisdom.

Trust me, if this had happened in my day, the elder would have stepped out of their car, seized the ball, given us a few hard knocks on the head, and reported us to our parents for a second round of punishment.

That day left me with a valuable reminder: stepping into another’s shoes can transform anger into understanding, turn resentment into connection, and even defuse a conflict before it begins.

Imagine if we all did this in our daily lives—how many unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, and even wars, could we avoid? Sometimes, all it takes is a little empathy and the willingness to see things through another’s eyes.