This one sentence has the power to change your life...

You may have heard of the idea "the map is not the territory."

It's about perception and reality, and last week, a seemingly rude encounter with a parent from my daughter’s school taught me a valuable lesson about it.

You see, this person and I aren't especially close friends, but we usually exchange some banter about life or what’s going on at school.?

On this occasion though they more or less blanked me and when they did say hello, they seemed cold and distant, almost standoffish.

Bit odd, I thought, but then I wondered if I’d said something out of place. Maybe I’d offended them in some way the last time we spoke.

It was only days later that I learned they’ve just separated from their partner and they’re in the midst of a very messy divorce.?

Of course, this gave me an entirely different perspective on the interaction we'd had, and that experience is the essence of? "the map is not the territory."?

At the time, I could only see the situation from one angle, but with more information, it looked completely different.

"The map is not the territory" is a founding principle of neurolinguistic programming which can transform how you see the world and how you operate in it.

An empowering idea

Your brain is bombarded with information every moment you’re awake. It receives much more stuff than it can process, so to help you navigate the deluge, it creates maps based on your education, beliefs, and experiences.?

These maps are incredibly important in enabling you to interpret what’s going on around you, but they come with two crucial disclaimers.

The first is that they are simplifications. They don’t contain every element of what “really” took place but are filled out with assumptions and generalizations.

Secondly, as a result, your mental maps are unique to you. Nothing you’ve ever experienced has been interpreted in exactly the same way by anyone else. Ever.

Now, that might seem obvious to you, but when I first considered that notion, it struck me very hard indeed.

All my perceptions and assumptions about people, places, and events in my life could therefore be open to reinterpretation. They may not be accurate reflections of the “real” world at all.

On some level that’s slightly disturbing because if our perception of reality is not reality itself, then what is?

At the same time, it’s a realization that is tremendously empowering, since it means we can alter our perceptions and change how we view things.

We can redraw our maps, and in doing so, expand our understanding of the world and ourselves.

One situation, many experiences

In business, "the map is not the territory" shows up all the time.

It explains why two equally skilled and knowledgeable individuals can come to different conclusions about the same strategy or decision.

Have you ever left what you thought was a frustrating meeting, only to discover someone else viewed it completely differently?

Or come across a leader who refused to adapt and missed out on new opportunities because of what they’d experienced in the past?

A lot of this comes down to the filters - be they cultural, emotional, or otherwise - that shape our perceptions. They can be limiting, like tinted glasses that colour how we see the world.?

By being aware of them, you can challenge your assumptions and open yourself up to new perspectives.

Update your maps

After I bumped into that parent last week, I received new information that caused me to change my point of view, and that’s something I recommend you aim to do regularly.

Think of it like upgrading the software on your phone; it's essential to keep it functioning optimally in a changing environment. Our mental maps too can become outdated and in need of a refresh.

At work, this might mean listening to new team members who bring fresh ideas or adapting to new trends that change market dynamics.

On a personal level, it could be about putting yourself in a situation you’ve previously found uncomfortable or seeking counsel from someone whose opinions differ greatly from yours.

Whatever the field, it’s about opening ourselves up to continuous learning.

It means seeking out new information, experiences, and feedback.?

This process isn’t just about acquiring new knowledge though; it's about being willing to let go of what we think we know today - giving up our outdated assumptions and beliefs.

Doing so is not always comfortable. It requires a balance of self-awareness and external input. It involves introspection – recognizing when our maps are leading us astray – and openness to external perspectives that can provide a more accurate representation of the current landscape.

Embracing 'the map is not the territory' can enhance your adaptability and empathy as well as guide you to be a more effective leader and individual.

Great leaders understand that everyone walks around with their own maps, so do what they do by communicating openly about yours and embracing the diverse viewpoints of others.

And next time you're dead sure about something, take a second to think about the territory because you might well find your map isn’t showing the best route forward.