One Red Duck

by Chet Berry

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The pet rock. The Rubiks cube. The Ice Bucket challenge.? The Macarena.? Avocado toast. How do trends get started?? It’s strictly a rhetorical question.? More a way of opening up this article than anything else.? I can’t say that I’ve spent any time researching the question or lost any sleep over the lack of an answer. Still, have you seen…

The small rubber duck.

Little rubber ducks of different colors riding on the dashboards of Jeeps.? I did a bit of research on this one. Allison Parliament from Ontario, Canada started the trend during Covid. As a way of encouraging Jeep owners, she bought rubber ducks and placed them on Jeeps as a way of saying, “Nice Jeep”.? People were then instructed to pass the honor onto another Jeep that caught their attention.

I wish I was as thoughtful as Alice.

I rode in my first Jeep when I was 19.? My friend Gary had a late 60’s CJ-5.? I was hooked before we reached the end of the block. I’ve owned three Jeeps since those days.? Two of those Jeeps are still in my care after almost 30 years, one of which is my daily driver.? All three of my kids drove a Jeep to High School.? With reluctance, I even let them borrow a Jeep to go to college.

You could say that I’m a “Jeep guy”.

As of this moment, I have received a total of one red duck. One measly diminutive drake. My buddy, who spent the better part of two years building his Jeep from the ground up…part by part and bolt by bolt…has received two ducks.? You may be thinking that this is an article about Jeeps and the misdirected priorities of modern Jeep owners, and you would be right…partially. It is not a rare occurrence to witness a 4 door completely stock suburban transport driven by a soccer mom with 15 or more ducks on her dash.

It’s a travesty of duck distribution. The implication is that the drivers of these vehicles have earned the admiration and recognition of scores of other Jeep enthusiasts due to the sheer volume of displayed ducks.? I do not believe such.? One look at their vehicles and its apparent they have created their own duck dynasty.

This articles looks beyond the dashboard and considers meaning…significance…individuality…and non-conformity.? This is an article about doing the right thing and acknowledging those around us who choose to do the right thing daily.? This is an article seeking to give the little red duck renewed meaning, rewarding simple actions and more complex ones.?

Not a Jeep owner? Fear not!? I believe you need not be a Jeep owner to receive accolades for good behavior and I am proposing an expansion of Red Duck recognition through strict adherence to the following list of behaviors:

a.?????? Putting the twisty tie back on the loaf of bread instead of tying it in a knot and folding it underneath.? Reward: One Red Duck

b.?????? Turning the light out when exiting a room.? Reward: One Red Duck?? Additional reward may be granted if one waits until their eyes adjust and leaves the light out while searching in the dark:

c.?????? Removing the tip jar from any Chinese food or Pizza shop counter.? Reward: One Red Duck.

d.?????? Removing me from the telemarketers phone list: Reward: No Red Ducks. I don’t believe this is actually possible.

e.?????? Going around me instead of riding my bumper: Reward: No Red Ducks.? Why would I reward you for getting to your location faster? Isn’t that reward enough?

f.???????? Moving to the side and letting the next person check out as you scratch your Lotto tickets: Reward: No Red Ducks because I do not condone gambling.

g.?????? Placing pics of your family and friends on Facebook instead of what you ate for dinner or that disgusting boil.? Reward: Two Red Ducks.? Posting a video of either constitutes a Red Duck ban for life.

h.?????? Limiting your weather forecast to the current temperature, the temperature tomorrow, and whether it is going to rain.? Reward: Three Red Ducks.? If I want more, I’ll look at my phone.

i.???????? Political commentary telling me what I just listened to in an hour-long speech because I’m too dumb to understand it. Reward: Please reference letter “G” as this is just another form of disgusting behavior. ?

j.???????? Remaining seated before boarding a plane and after it has landed.? Reward: Another impossibility.?

k.?????? Letting the microwave hit “0” before opening the door. Reward: One Red Duck.? ??

Too stringent?? Should everyone get a duck for every behavior or effort within our culture?? Will we suppress our children’s confidence and squash their self-worth for generations to come because we did not recognize the duckiness of all? Without reward will those around us find us “deththpicable”?? (to quote Daffy)

We’ll just find out.? Won’t we.?

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