This ONE Question Will Solve All Your Meditation Problems
Yedda Stancil
Executive Director | Transformative Leader | Advocate for Acceptance & Inclusivity
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Have you ever heard that expression: the last person anyone wants to sit next to at a dinner party is the chick who just discovered meditation? (At least, I think that’s how it goes…) Yeesh. But there’s a good reason for this, right?
After all, the last thing any of us need when we’re stressed, struggling, and suffering is the newly-enlightened to offer us a list of the thirty-five things—seven involving steamed kale—that recently transformed their life and are guaranteed to transform ours too.
?Meditation might work for some people, but that doesn’t mean it’s worked for YOU. (Not yet, anyway.) So when all you hear about meditation is that it’s the key to resolving everything that sucks in your life, “sucking at meditation” doesn’t help. Not one bit.
What I’m about to say might surprise you, but… I have a problem with meditation.
I know, I KNOW! Me—the person constantly reminding you to shut up and sit has a problem with shutting up and sitting. At least, sort of.
If you’ve ever tried to squeeze some deep desk breathing into those three minutes between your department meeting and that new client phone call, only to arrive at the conclusion that meditation must be total BS, you’re not alone. Many folks just don’t resonate with the practice.
I get it—meditation is hard! It can be tedious. And scary! For the most part—at least at first—meditation feels like doing nothing. And it’s hard to justify doing nothing when your desk, inbox, and Slack are filled with so many nagging somethings.
A 2014 study at Oxford researched the five most common reasons people don’t meditate. They include difficulty learning meditation, trouble experiencing the “self”—whatever the f**k that is is what most clients say to me when I first mention this phrase, potential exacerbation of psychological disorders, struggling with a challenged reality, and subjective happiness—aka your experience is going to different than Sharon’s from marketing, so taking her advice doesn’t actually land you where she’s at, meaning you might expect a lot from meditation and wind up with nada. (Again—at least at first.)
?But if you’re reading this, no matter what your relationship to meditation has been in the past, chances are you’re still holding out a shred of hope that shutting up and sitting will improve your life (if only you could get it to stick!).
But consider this: What if starting—and sticking to—a fulfilling meditation practice was as simple as asking yourself just ONE question?
You’d probably want to know what that question is, right?
The next time you’re faced with stimuli or a situation that you’re struggling to breathe deeply through, instead of giving up on your practice or resorting to a less-than-healthy coping skill, pause and ask yourself this:
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Can I sit with this discomfort for just one breath?
That’s it. Just one breath.
Here’s the thing: at the core of all suffering are lessons and opportunities for growth. By breaking your discomfort down into small, breath-by-breath moments, you’ll protect yourself from taking all your suffering on, all at once, while offering yourself sustainable, incremental ways to grow and evolve your practice.
Maybe the first time you try this technique, you’ll only be able to withstand one or two breaths. Hey, that’s great! Tell yourself you ROCK at a two-breath meditation practice and move on with your day.
Next time, maybe you’ll try three.
And yes that is by the way what it means to experience the "self" its is literally just being with the breath you are breathing.....who knew?
Curious about how you can start experiencing your 'self" and bring her or him out into all you do at work and in life?
I am here to help. My coaching and consulting helps you curate your authentic self.
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Yedda
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Coach | Father | Entrepreneur
2 年There are nuggets in this article, thanks for sharing I’d be honored to have you in my network Yedda