One Practice will Change your Life: Solitude and Silence

Like me... you are ADDICTED TO INPUT.

Let me explain. In 2018 I started fasting. When was the last time you skipped a meal... on purpose?

I’ve been reading about the benefits of fasting on the body over the years. I'm no doctor, but it's compelling. Not to mention the mental and spiritual benefits. Now, every quarter I plan a three-day fast from all food. You read that right, three days of nothing but water and tea. 

You read that right, three days of nothing but water and tea.

The first one was pretty rough, I’ll be honest. But the second one was better. Now, after many times, it's easy. So... I had an idea.

How about I fast from EVERY input?

Let's back up. When you stop eating food for three days, it gives your body’s digestive system some much-needed rest. When you shut down the inputs, your energy will refocus from digestion to cleansing at a cellular level. Pretty interesting science, really, and I'm not qualified to comment on the specifics.

On the mental side, hunger is a challenging urge to overcome. We are accustomed to having food, just about any time we want it. I mean, being hungry is usually considered a bad thing (would you agree?). When you are hungry, it requires great mental discipline to say "no" and grab a glass of water instead. I use a lot of distractions to help with this challenge.

What kind of distractions? My top three are reading books, watching movies, and taking naps. Yeah, naps. But there is plenty of time spent scrolling Facebook and Instagram as well. None of these are inherently bad things. They are inputs. Some are mind-filling. Others are mind-numbing. But they are inputs, nonetheless.

It turns out I’m completely addicted to input.

What happens when you shut off EVERY input? Food is a big input to the body. Fasting shuts that off. But what about all the inputs to my mind? I decided to shut those off as well. 

I call this “Solitude and Silence.”

Get away. Don’t interact with anybody (being alone is best), and turn off all the noise. No books. No movies. No music. No smartphone. No entertainment of any kind. Just me, alone with my thoughts. I decided to go for 24 hours. I didn’t have the guts to do it all three days.

Three days without food is no problem. One day without inputs for the mind? For me, it was brutal. It turns out I’m completely addicted to input.

I'll explain the process. Fasting from food begins after dinner on Thursday night. That will be my last bite of food until Sunday night at the same time. On Saturday morning, I kissed my wife goodbye and started a drive about 40 minutes from home to a small beach town north of where I live in Michigan. At this point I’ve been fasting for about 36 hours. I turned off my cell phone (gasp for air), and took along only a small bag of clothes and a journal.

I was showing withdrawal symptoms almost immediately.

During the drive I didn’t turn on the radio or a podcast like I normally would. I just sat there and drove. When I arrived to my destination I didn’t go to a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with somebody. I found a quiet place and sat down alone, with my journal in hand. All day, all night, and all the next morning… silence and solitude.

I wanted noise. I wanted inputs. Like... badly. After all, listening to a podcast or audiobook is a great use of my time. I learn so much that way. And reading? Come on! That’s one of the best practices you can possibly have in life. Leaders are readers, right? I was showing withdrawal symptoms almost immediately.

As I walked through the town to find a local park, I had the urge to turn my phone on and text message my wife at least ten times.

It was like something was pulling my mind into a gentle frenzy.

When I got settled at the park, I could barely stop picking up my phone. I would lift it, and realize it’s OFF (for this very reason). Then I would set it down, and feel silly I kept grabbing it. Pro tip for next time: leave the phone in your car.

It was like something was pulling my mind into a gentle frenzy. I needed to have “plans” or do “something productive.” It’s harder than I thought to simply sit, with no inputs at all, for a long time. It’s harder than I thought to be alone, with nothing but your thoughts. And you know what? 

Hard things continue to be the best things.

This was an incredible 24 hours. The rewards are too many to describe here, but I’ll share a few of the highlights.

• Original, creative thoughts make their way to the forefront of your mind. Dreams of the future and memories of the past flow through like waves of the sea. After you overcome the “mental hangover” of input addition (I’m just going to say it… social media), it’s actually quite peaceful.
• I began to recognize how much of my life is being dominated by inputs. And I’m making changes. Part of why I chose to write this article is that it forces me to stop and think and create. It’s an output.
• The spirit of thanksgiving and generosity abounds during solitude and silence. I could not stop counting my blessings while I sat along the beautiful coast, simply being.
• Self-discovery. There is something powerful about being alone, with no distractions from our reality. TV, social media, YouTube… all these things provide us an escape from what is really happening in our lives. For me, this 24 hours was filled with confirmation and excitement about who I am and what I am creating in the world.

I believe that everyone should schedule a time of solitude and silence. Start small. Challenge yourself to two hours. Then build from there. I can say for certain, I will be doing this again.

If you never shut off the inputs, you can never expect to have an output to the world that is authentically your own.

In the end, I was humbled. If you had asked me before this, “Are you addicted to social media and other inputs?” I would have said, “No way.” After all, compared to other people I know…

Turns out, I'm addicted. Sure, some of the mediums of my addiction are more useful than others. I read a lot more than most, and prefer a podcast to the radio most days. But the point remains, I was addicted. Here’s what I’ve discovered to be true: If you never shut off the inputs, you can never expect to have an output to the world that is authentically your own. 

My guess is that you are addicted to input. Want to find out? Practice Solitude and Silence, then report back.

I dare you.