The One Positive Emotion That Can Slow Down Time Itself

I heard someone say recently that the tragedy of getting older is that just as you begin to understand what’s important time speeds up. I’ve certainly seen this tragedy play out in my own life. And, if we’re being honest, we all have. The tragedy sounds like this: “If only I knew student loans were a bad investment, “I wish I had been a better family member”, “I wish I had been a better friend”, “I shouldn’t have married so young / that person”, “I should have prioritized my health sooner”, and on and on and on.

I think it’s fair to say that time has played teacher to all of us. But our past missteps aren’t written in stone. We aren’t powerless over our regrets. Amends can be made. Mistakes corrected or forgotten. If we’re paying attention, the lessons we’ve learned will even guide us toward greater purpose and meaning.??

But what about our perception of time? That's really the salt in the wound here. Even if we learn our lessons and enjoy greater purpose and meaning we’re still left with the feeling that time is running out. Because, well, it is. Now, obviously, we can’t stop time. But we might be able to slow down our perception of its passing.??

Recent research suggests that the biggest factor that influences our perception of time is motivation. The research shows that when we are motivated to approach something, we will perceive time passing faster. And when we are motivated to withdraw from something, we will perceive time passing slower.

This is why time passes so slowly at the DMV, but so quickly on a good first date. The experience of the DMV produces withdrawal motivation (i.e. we want to get away), whereas, the experience of a wonderful first date produces approach motivation (i.e. we want to lean in).

It is also why getting your cardio on the treadmill makes time stand still, but getting your cardio between the sheets makes time speed up. The treadmill creates a state of withdrawal motivation, you want to get out of there, but a romp in the sheets creates a state of approach motivation, you want to get in there. ;)??

Withdrawal motivation slows our perception of time.?

Approach motivation quickens our perception of time.

The key piece here, for those looking to slow time down, is that withdrawal motivation is not solely created through negative emotional states. In fact, there is one positive emotional state that was shown to elicit withdrawal motivation resulting in slowing participants’ perception of time…?

Contentedness.??

Contentedness is defined as the state of being satisfied and not wanting anything more. When people feel content they report that their perception of time passing slows dramatically. They report getting lost in the moment, forgetting about the passage of time, and later being surprised by how little time has passed when they are made aware.

This isn’t exactly good news. Contentedness is perhaps the most difficult solution to the problem of time perception. You may be thinking “No it’s not, just be more content”. If you can be content on demand, I salute you. Personally, I may be able to count on one hand the periods in my life when I’ve been truly content, at least for more than a few minutes at a time.?

Our lives are designed for discontent. We’re barraged by endless marketing and competitive materialism. From the moment we’re born we’re told to get things. Get a college degree, get a job, get promoted, get a house, get a bigger house, get a boat, get a car, get a nicer car. We’re also told to be things. Be successful, be rich, be powerful, be influential, be smart, be attractive, be funny. We’ve commoditized discontent. We’ve built entire economies on discontent. So, no, contentedness is not an easy thing to foster. You have to work hard at it.?

For any of us to reach a meaningful threshold of contentment, I think it has to be a lifelong practice. Like meditation. We have to be mindful of our levels of contentment on a daily basis and take steps to address sources of discontent.

I’m not sure exactly what that looks like. Maybe it starts with a gratitude journal. Maybe it’s part of a mindfulness meditation practice. Whatever a ‘contentment practice’ looks like for you, one thing is for sure, it’s worth the effort.??

Because contentment - the state of being satisfied and not wanting anything more - is one of the best ways to slow down your perception of the passage of time.

And who wouldn’t enjoy just a bit more time with those we love?