One-Pager: Who Are You? Understanding Your True Self Beyond What You Do

The Mirror Moment: Alex's Story

Alex sat at the desk late into the evening, staring at the endless to-do list on the screen. Career success was at an all-time high—leading a major project at work, managing a full social calendar, and being the go-to person for family and friends. But as the busy day wound down, a quiet question echoed: Who am I, really, beneath all of this?

For years, Alex’s identity had been shaped by accomplishments, roles, and responsibilities. Always busy, always in motion, always doing something. But beneath the surface of success and connections, there was a sense of disconnection. It dawned on Alex that knowing what was being done every day wasn’t the same as understanding who they were at the core.

The more Alex reflected, the more unsettling the feeling became. Without the projects, the titles, the roles—who was left? This question stirred emotions of uncertainty, even fear, but also a spark of curiosity. What would emerge if the deeper layers were explored?

Determined to find answers, Alex started carving out time each morning to be still—away from work, away from the usual distractions. In these quiet moments, journaling became a tool to uncover what truly brought joy and meaning. Not just the tasks and responsibilities, but the passions and values that made life feel alive. It wasn’t easy at first—there was a pull to return to the comfort of busy schedules. But with persistence, Alex began to see more clearly.

It became obvious that identity was more than the professional successes or social roles. Alex realised that core values, passions, and dreams were the essence of who they were. And once this deeper understanding took shape, there was a new sense of peace and fulfilment. Life wasn’t just about the external achievements anymore—it was about embracing the unique self behind them.

The Breakdown: Understanding Who You Are

Why is it important to understand who you are? Knowing who you are beyond what you do is essential for living a meaningful, authentic life. Without a sense of identity that goes deeper than external roles, it’s easy to feel lost when circumstances change. Understanding yourself at your core allows for more genuine connections, better decision-making, and a life aligned with personal truth.

Implications of understanding your true self:

• Aligned Choices: Knowing your values and identity helps you make decisions that feel right and true to yourself.
• Stronger Resilience: When your identity is rooted in who you are, rather than in external validation, you become less shaken by setbacks.
• Authentic Fulfilment: Life feels richer and more rewarding when actions align with your deeper self, not just external expectations.

How the BE Elements affect understanding who you are:

• Safety: You can only explore your true self when you feel emotionally safe. A lack of safety can push you to hide behind roles and achievements.
• Gain and Loss: Tying your identity to external successes creates vulnerability to perceived losses. Understanding yourself independent of these outcomes helps you stay grounded.
• Clarity and Confusion: Clarity about your inner self allows you to separate who you are from what you do. Without this clarity, you may feel confused or adrift.
• Self and Ego: The ego often ties identity to accomplishments. By focusing on the self rather than the ego, you can discover a more authentic and stable sense of who you are.

Self-Coaching Questions

Being Purposeful

1. What is my role in life, and does it truly reflect who I am at my core?
2. How do my daily actions align with the values and passions that matter most to me?
3. What is motivating me beyond the expectations of others—what do I truly want for myself?

Being Mind/Body Aware

1. How does my environment (physical, emotional, social) impact my sense of who I am?
2. What physical sensations or emotions arise when I feel disconnected from myself?
3. What activities help me feel calm, centred, and more connected to my true self?

Being Accountable

1. In what ways do I let my external roles or achievements define my identity, and how can I shift away from that?
2. How am I taking responsibility for exploring and nurturing a deeper understanding of who I am?
3. What excuses or external pressures have I allowed to overshadow my true self?

Being Resourceful

1. What resources (books, mentors, reflective practices) can I use to deepen my understanding of who I am?
2. Who in my life supports and encourages me to be my authentic self, and how can I spend more time with them?
3. How can I incorporate daily or weekly reflection (e.g., journaling or mindfulness) to stay connected with my inner self?

Summary of First Steps

To feel safer, create spaces where you can explore your identity without judgment or distraction. To feel more connected, spend time identifying the values, passions, and quirks that reflect your authentic self—not just your roles or responsibilities. For clarity, remind yourself that you are more than what you achieve externally. Finally, to feel more in tune with yourself, make it a regular practice to reflect on who you are, using mindfulness, journaling, or simply quiet moments of contemplation.

Knowing who you are, beyond what you do, is the key to living an authentic, aligned, and fulfilling life.

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NOTE: For transparency, all one-pagers are created using a custom AI with my book, "BE" as the resource for the frameworks, content and context.

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