One of my favorite tools to deep relationships at work...

One of my favorite tools to deep relationships at work...

I love?ask and offer.

It's so simple.

It allows us to be generous.

It's not rocket science.

It teaches us to receive what we need.

It levels the playing field.

It doesn't require ninja facilitation skills.

It honestly feels good.

Here's how to use it with your boss?(because we all have a boss, even me!)

With your boss, the “ask” is a sincere request of their support and the “offer” is an opportunity to extend your help to them. E.g., "I'd like to ask for your support in team meetings, and call on me to present ____"?and "I'd like to offer to draft emails for you next week, when you're in so many back to back meetings."

You can then invite them to share their own?asks?and?offers.

You can do this with a team.

Have each person take a moment to reflect on what the need (the ask) - it can be tactical, i.e., reviewing documents, or problem solving interpersonal issues. Allow folks to be expansive. Next, have each person write down where they have spaciousness and can support others (the offer).

  • If you're building trust, ask folks to pin up their ask and offer on a virtual whiteboard or a wall. Each person can then pick an?offer?they could use, and an?ask?they can full-fill.
  • If you've got some trust and comfort on the team, this activity can take place verbally (virtually or in-person).

**Writing and silence is a great way to support internal processors and introverts a moment to gather their thoughts.

It's a??magical activity. Most of us have more than we can handle and are cautious about asking for help at work. And yet, we want to show up for others because helping others helps us strengthen social bonds and feel happier.

This activity normalizes the thing we fear (or induces shame) -?asking for _____.?Paired with the thing we are wired to do -?offer/do/support.

Trust me, this is something you can try now. You can do it at the next team meeting.

PS: Sometimes the best tools are the most accessible ones.

PS 2: Share this with someone who can use it :)

Donna F.

Life Coach. Death Doula. Play Facilitator. Community builder. Listener.

2 年

Thanks for sharing ???? I also see huge usefulness for those unlearning perfectionism and individualism in personal relationships.

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