One Of The Most Powerful Questions You Can Ask

Something most coaches learn early on is that rarely is the first thing that someone says THE thing. When we ask clients what is on their mind or what they want to work on, they will say the first thing that comes to mind. A new coach will dive right in, but a more experienced coach will instead ask one of the most powerful questions you can ask: "What else?"

Why is "What else" so powerful? It is an invitation for the other person to think longer, deeper - and when they do something more significant usually comes forth. Good coaches ask "What else?" Great coaches follow that up with "And what else?" "And what else?" until they are sure they've gotten to the deep, root, significant, core, important thing that the person really wants to discuss. Only then do they move on and engage, now confident that they are engaging on the right topic.

This is a question that everyone should be using, especially leaders. Think about the power of this question in a business meeting. Other people are often hesitant to share what they really think so they often give superficial answers, or they may just say the first thing that comes to mind (which may not always be the best thing). What if the person leading the meeting responded to their people with, "Okay, great, and what else?" What additional good ideas that typically get passed by might come to the surface if we continued to engage our people beyond the usual first answer?

This applies to our personal relationships as well, and I use this with my kids all the time. I can tell something isn't right and they aren't acting like themselves - something is wrong. I ask what's wrong, and they tell me one thing. I know that is never the only thing wrong, but for some reason we are conditioned to stop after one answer. So I always respond with, "OK, what else?" And you know what? There is ALWAYS something else - usually multiple things bothering them.

For some reason we need an invitation to share, but we rarely get one. Every time you ask "What else?" you drill down deeper, to get to the real stuff, to the real person. We often respond from way out at the surface because life is all hustle and bustle and no one has time to make deep connections. That's why the question is so powerful - when someone is willing to slow down, invest time, and go deep with us, it's a rare gift. It's so different than the usual "Hey how's it going?" "Good, and you?" "Good!" and we move right along. That superficial level of communication isn't connected to anything deep within us, it's like an automatic response that requires little thought. So the deepness within us needs to be drawn out - connected to. And "What else?" has the power to do just that.

You can also get creative with the way in which you do this. It doesn't always have to be verbatim with that question. You can choose to emphasize words differently as you repeat a question to do the same thing. A coach could ask the same question three different ways:

• What do you want to work on today?
• What do you want to work on today?
• OK, now what do you want to work on today?

(These questions are credited to David B. Peterson who asks them to his clients)

The first question usually elicits what they think their boss wants them to work on. The second one gets them thinking about themselves more. The third one gets them looking even deeper inside to their motivation and goals. But it's just a different way of continuing to delve deeper, like with "What else?" "And what else?"

Do you want more out of your employees? Do you want more out of your personal and business relationships? Do you want to bring better ideas forth, be able to help people more, connect in deeper ways? Start asking "What else?"