No one likes rejection, but what if I told you rejection can be a blessing in disguise for self growth.

Rejection comes in many forms such as; being rejected by someone you have feelings for, rejection for a job, not been invited out to social gatherings the list is endless.

But what if I told you rejection can also be a blessing in disguise and give you some examples, would you believe me?

We have all been there one time in our lives where we like someone and build that courage to let them know, only to be rejected.

I know I have and I will happily share my outcome with you:

Years back I really liked this guy, I liked him so much so I was blinded by his faults. One day came and I built up the courage to let him know my feelings only to be rejected and be made a fool of.

I took the rejection and felt a little shitty as my ego was dented just a little, but at least I knew where I stood and didn't waste anymore of my time with him.

I then meet someone else, he was better looking, had a better personality, he had more going for himself and knew how to reciprocate with me.

If you have ever been rejected by someone you have feelings for and haven't taken it too well the below highlights the outcome:

• You end up losing yourself and in the process develop insecure feelings about yourself.
• You become judgemental by comparing yourself to what that person you have feelings for is dating.
• You allow your life to slip away if you don't deal with rejection, as without even realising it over time you build an inner anger and at the same time you allow your life to be rob instead of living it.

The above are 3 of the main ingredients to you becoming something you ain't. What you need to realise is this; no one and I mean no one should be allowed to come into your life and make you feel like shit.

Instead, you need to continue to work on your fabulous self and continue to do so, as this is your duty and no one else's.

When you begin to operate in this mindset, without fail you attract people and potential partners that are more suited, will reciprocate with you and appreciate the fabulous you that you are.

Rejection isn't nice, but it doesn't mean it is the end of the world, far from it in most cases it truly is a blessing in disguise.

Lets be realistic:

If you been rejected from a certain social group, fuck them and find your own tribe that are on your level. You might think that this is hard to do when in fact now more than ever with the amount of social platforms available it makes it easier.

Not long ago I was coaching a lady who had so desperately tried to fit in with a group of ladies only to be rejected constantly when any social events came up.

I asked my client why it was so important for her to be involved with these particular group of women?

Her answer she wasn't even sure herself and when she began becoming mindful she could see clearly that all they did was gossip about other women.

This highlighted the bigger picture being, if they are gossiping about other women what was they saying about her behind her back.

It also brought to the surface that my client still didn't deal with her childhood problems. Her mother had rejected her at a young age and she was forced to live in different foster homes.

Fast forward, she found her tribe of women who were just like her, a single parent running their business and who appreciated other women achievements to encouraging them and at the same time dealt slowly with her rejection issue as a child.

This was also an opening door to her gaining new clients, vice version recommending new clients for the other women to and building long lasting relationships.

It doesn't matter what form of rejection you receive in life, it's how you respond to it that matters.

Then there is the bigger picture rejection from an other to a situation has saved you wasting your time for the long run, so let that sink in.

In my case with the man I mentioned above who had rejected me, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise as he was an utter Prick, 'The End'!

The better you get at dealing with rejection, the less it affects you. So how can you build that ability to cope?

Here are some ideas:

Be Honest

By being honest with yourself, you are more in tune with your feelings and acknowledge that you do have a choice to entertain it or not and that also applies to rejection.

You realise emotional patterns that you have conditioned throughout a long period of time being in the form; of having expectations only to be disappointed.

I am not going to say to you don't cry or do't be angry as these are natural feelings to have. What I would say to you is this, you have a choice again and that choice comes down to you entertaining the situation or getting the fuck right out, you choose?

Be Positive

When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on the negative stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again. Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection.

So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it and avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Why?

Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act emotionally. Getting stuck in a negative outlook might even bring about more rejection and It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again.

I suggest in placing your focus on gratitude and be grateful for having use of your limbs, your health a roof over your head, you get the idea.

Examine Your Thought Soundtrack

Now on to what you think: Consider how you're explaining the rejection to yourself. Are you being too hard on yourself? It's natural to wonder, "Why did this happen?" When you give yourself an explanation, be careful to stick to the facts.

Self-blaming or put-down thinking can exaggerate our faults and lead us to believe stuff about ourselves that simply isn't true. This kind of thinking crowds out hope and a belief in ourselves — the very things we need to get past feeling bad and want to try again.

If you start blaming yourself for the rejection or put yourself down, you can start believing you'll always be rejected. Thoughts like, "I'll never get a date" or "No one will ever like me" amplify a simple rejection to disaster level.

Keep Things in Perspective

Give yourself credit for trying, after all you took a risk — good for you. Remind yourself that you can handle the rejection even though you were turned down now, there will be another opportunity, another time. Get philosophical: Sometimes things happen for reasons we don't always understand, but the likelihood if you been rejected on a romantic level it could might as well be for the better as it turns out he/she is prick like I have experience.

Use Rejection to Your Advantage

A rejection is a chance to consider if there are things you can work on. It's OK to think about whether there's room for improvement or if your goals were higher than your skills.

If your skills weren't strong enough this time, maybe you need to work on your game, your studies, your interview technique, or whatever it takes to improve your chances of getting accepted next time.

Use the rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement, and remind yourself of the importance in placing you first.

Sometimes a rejection is a harsh reality check but, if you approach it right, it could help nudge you in a direction that turns out to be the perfect fit for your talents, personality, and all the really great things that make you who you are.

Next time you experience rejection I ask you to take a step back and follow the advice I have placed in this newsletter, I promise you will not be disappointed!

#rejection #growth #happiness #mindsetcoach #mindset

Interested in working with Helena email: [email protected]