This one fear is mucking up disruptive leadership

Welcome to Leading Disruption, a weekly letter about disruptive leadership in a transforming world. Every week we’ll discover how the best leaders set strategy, build culture, and manage uncertainty all in service of driving disruptive, transformative growth.

What does leadership in disruptive times look like??

We’re not out of the pandemic woods yet — and the events of last year made it clear there is a lot about our world that needs disrupting. Look no farther than the Great Resignation! Clearly, the traditional workplace is not, well, working for people.?

How does a disruptive leader navigate these big changes and uncertainties?

Over the next several weeks, I’m hosting a miniseries on 21st century leadership on my livestream, Tuesday mornings at 9 am PT / 12 pm ET. I’ll cover:

• how leaders can be strong AND vulnerable (which seems like a contradiction!)
• the two unsung heroes of disruptive leadership (these are two of my leadership favorite tools)
• why successful leaders build movements, and
• how to create your own movement manifesto — no matter your current title.

I’m kicking it off this Tuesday with a discussion of how you KNOW you’re a disruptive leader. And today, I want to give you a taste of a critical leadership skill we need to embrace.

What does a disruptive leader need?

But first (I’ve said this before and I will say it again!), “leadership” is not a title, it's a mindset. When you see a change that needs to happen, you put on the mantle of leadership and become that leader who helps people understand your vision, no matter what your business card says.?

What's so important about disruptive leadership is knowing you can’t do it alone. To make big-scale change you must empower your team and the people who follow you because it's they who will make the change happen.?

But you can’t make people change, you must inspire them to change. And you do that by investing in the relationship with your followers so that when the moment comes, they will act.?

Now, I want to share a counterintuitive but critical leadership skill you need to invest in to strengthen your relationships, so that when it’s time to lead, they trust you:

Learn to love disagreements.?

I can honestly say I embrace disagreements — but they used to make me cringe! Since immersing myself in disruptive leadership, I’ve realized that disagreements deliver three powerful gifts:

1. Disagreements lead to better outcomes.?

With opposing viewpoints coming in you discover not only new ideas, you’re also better able to identify and mitigate risks.?

When your team can safely disagree with you and each other, they will be more equipped and confident to embrace disruption. They will know they can voice their concerns and troubleshoot challenges.?

Too many “leaders” fall prey to old thinking: that leadership means having all the answers, being completely confident, and never faltering. That approach will backfire. Today’s leaders must be vulnerable AND strong. Not only is it healthier for the individual leader, but it will build a movement more effectively than “control” ever can.

2. Disagreeing is a terrific way to improve relationships.?

I was astonished when I read a study that only 53% of C-level executives feel they know how to demonstrate empathy effectively. And only about a third say their organization's frontline leadership quality is excellent and that their senior executives operated as an effective team.

I would guess that these executives struggle to have the kind of healthy disagreements that foster trust. I would guess these executives — consciously or unconsciously — embrace the old paradigm of “command and control” leadership.?

One of the hallmarks of good disagreements is understanding the other person’s point of view by using empathy. When you listen to understand, it makes the other person feel heard and more open to your point of view. This opens communication, deepens trust, and makes it 100% more likely you can come to an agreement.

3. Disagreements are critical to fostering diversity and inclusion.?

The same study further found that less than half of C-level execs feel effective at creating inclusive environments. This doesn’t surprise me, but it does make me sad!

“Diversity” simply means difference. It’s clear why differences can lead to conflict, because many of us make this false assumption: we think we have to agree to get along.?

That’s a fallacy. But it’s not surprising we feel this way! Most of us have a negative association with disagreements, often from our families, social circle, religion, and personal experience.?

The duty of a disruptive leader is to embrace disagreements. This requires investing in ourselves, getting whatever training or counseling we need so we can stay grounded in ourselves when disagreements happen. It requires deepening our empathy and communication skills. I share more practical tips to embrace disagreements here.

In the coming weeks, I’ll unpack what more you can do to become disruptive leaders! I hope you’ll join me live this Tuesday at 9am PST to begin the conversation.

Your Turn

In the meantime, let me know in the comments: Do you embrace disagreements or avoid them like Covid19? Do you have a story of a disagreement that went well? Share it! I’ve started by sharing one of mine, and I’d love to hear your experience.