One Cynical Thing...Lesson One

Lesson #1:?Yes,?at some point, you're probably going to get hit on in a completely inappropriate and awkward manner.?

To be very clear - I’m neither talking about #METOO, which is real and awful nor am I referring to a culture of unofficially sanctioned workplace harassment and intimidation.?This is about the unavailable or otherwise unprofessional coworker without concern for boundaries.

In my early 20s, I had a senior executive come into my office, complain about his wife, and then literally ask?me what it would “cost him” to sleep with me. I was shocked and froze, mouth-gaping, like an idiot. Fortunately, he left, but I wish I would have had the guts to respond with some pithy, witty response - “stay in your lane, old man”.?

You read that right – pithy and witty, not outraged.??Every young person should be able to de-escalate an awkward, inappropriate advance. Why not immediately head to HR? The blowback from a perceived overblown response. HR exists to represent the best interest of the entire company, not just you. Justice is rarely served and backfires almost all the time when someone goes nuclear.??

In no way do I advocate silence and acceptance; I simply advise thought before action. Find your allies. Confide in the women you trust and ask them for advice. Some amazing executive women I knew discreetly, yet forcefully, made changes – with all female reputations remaining intact.

Be an ally – in any way you can. After watching a waitress be appallingly treated by several people, I called them out as much as I could at the moment.?And in my disgust, when the bill came, I tipped her $3000.

I start with this particular lesson not to scare, intimidate, or excuse any acts, but to acknowledge no amount of HR training or well-intentioned societal standards can dramatically reverse generations of human behavior.??