The one communication hack that just might save your sanity

Just last week, in this very newsletter, I mentioned that email is not my friend—it is the absolute bane of my existence— and after years of trying to tame the beast, I still haven’t figured out how to get to inbox zero (a girl can dream).

But through the trials and tribulations of too-many-to-count strategies and solutions, I have settled on one thing that has been life changing for me.?And it’s this: I’m a bundler.?Pingers beware—I do not respond well to you.?

Which one are you and why does it matter??

Pingers are people who “ping” all day long—with a single question or comment here, there, everywhere. ?Via slack, text, email, DM, IM, phone calls, drop bys, Google chat or often whatever real-time, live-stream software you’ve got going at work.

Bundlers are people who bundle—they wait and save their questions or comments for longer-form communication—via email, phone or drop bys—more likely than on slack, text or Google chat. ??Their frequency of communication is less often, but what’s communicated in a single instance is more substantive than what lands in a ping.

To be clear—there is no right or wrong answer here.?Although I am a bundler, I do not judge or ascribe value to either method. ??I simply ask you the question—so that you can assess where you land and learn how to better manage your life (and inbox).?So that you can be a better team mate and a better leader.?Knowing which one you are, which category you fall into—and then being transparent with your team about your preferences and work style can be absolutely game changing.

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When I’m leading workshops, I often ask leaders if they are pingers or bundlers.?I’ve usually got an even mix– in my (non-scientific) analysis, I’m often at about 50/50 with any given group.?But then I ask the more interesting question – how many people on your team know which one you are??Sheepishly, the hands start to go down. ?Typically, less than 20% of leaders have ever thought to communicate to their teams their actual preferences or styles.

Just imagine, I say, what would happen if you actually told people how and when you wanted to be communicated with.?The light bulbs start to go off. ?Smiles appear.?Sighs of relief set in.?So simple—to declare ourselves one or the other and asks our teams to adjust accordingly.?

“You mean I don’t have to get 100 messages a day with one line of text or a single question?” ?

?“Hmm, I could actually ask my team to send me an end-of-day update instead of sending me a dozen different voice memos?”

?“Wow—I should tell people that I’d like to catch up every afternoon instead of responding to the incessant stream of consciousness messages that bombard me all day long...”

?“You know what? I’m available and happy to answer questions as you have them, don’t feel the need to wait to come to me with all of your questions at once, just ping me as you need me.”

?Life is genuinely better when we ask ourselves the question—are we a pinger or bundler— and then tell everyone the answer and enable our teams to communicate more effectively with us.

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It doesn’t end there.?Taking it one step further—beyond knowing your own preferences, it’s incredibly powerful to know where your boss or manager stands as well.??Imagine not wondering how or when to reach out to someone.?Imagine knowing whether your boss is a pinger or bundler— and then adjusting your style to meet his or her needs.?How would that feel?

Think back to a time when you needed to reach your boss – you sent several emails, maybe left a message or two, and still no response.?How much time did you spend trying to figure out (read: guess) the best way to get their attention or gently encourage them to respond? Were you frustrated? ?Did you lose momentum or waste precious resources (e.g., your time)?

Now imagine if before this happened, you had had laid the groundwork and asked in advance how and when he or she wanted to be communicated with.?What method of communication did they prefer and when??How liberating would that feel??How empowering would that be??Could that have changed an outcome for the better?

Your relationships stand to benefit dramatically by knowing how and when to communicate with someone without driving them mad (e.g., sending a bundler way too many texts or not communicating often enough with a pinger).

Be open, be transparent—do everyone a favor and tell your teams which one you are and ask the question of everyone you communicate with regularly.??Pinger or bundler, which one are you?