No One is Coming to Save Us

As someone who's spent a lot of time thinking about self improvement, and personal growth I feel pretty certain one thing is solidly true about life - No one is coming to save us.

There is no Prince Charming, no Princess, no partner who will solve all our problems and offer up happily ever after. No degree, no "perfect" job, or corporate title that will bring lifelong security and freedom from fear. But I'm sure most people know this already.

This concept that no One Person, or no One Thing can protect us, or deliver unto us a better future holds true for all of the important causes in our society.

If you believe somebody should be working toward a cleaner planet, protection for the LGBTQ+ community, better funding for our schools, affordable healthy foods in the supermarket, dismantling of systemic racism, protections for freelance workers, cleaning up corrupt politics, animal welfare, rid the world of genocide, poverty, hunger, this list goes on and on. Whatever the cause, if you believe someone should be working on it, that someone can (and should) be you.

This might sound like an overwhelming burden as it would be impossible to do all the things in society, to heal the planet, and for humanity that need doing. And I would agree, it does sound too big, but let us not throw up our hands, because history shows us change happens in the everyday. It is in the small, collective commitments that we go from taking action (a one time occurrence), to becoming activists (an identity).

You most certainly can't do it all, but you can, in a small and critical way, be a part of the collective action needed to propel forward the things that you believe need doing. No one is going to save us. We have to do the hard work, each of us. I'm not talking about dedicating your whole life, I'm just talking about small Conscious steps to say "I believe this needs to change, and I'll back up my belief with my action."

What are some small steps you ask? This could be as simple as skipping the delivery lunch for a walk to the deli to avoid all that unnecessary plastic garbage. Maybe you begin introducing yourself with preferred pronouns. Maybe action takes the form of voting, calling on elected officials, letter writing, campaigning or showing up to local political meetings. Or speaking up when you see injustice, or misinformation. Vocalizing support for equitable policies in your workplace. Looking inward at your life experience and examining your own privilege, ask what the current system has provided you, and what privileges you will no longer accept. Be willing to step into your role of dismantling systems, even if baby steps, and even if stepping awkwardly.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear writes, “The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It's one thing to say I'm the type of person who wants this. It's something very different to say I'm the type of person who is this.”

One important thing to know about committing to small, conscious actions is that it will be uncomfortable, and it will require sacrifice. That discomfort may come in the form of sacrifice - of time, energy, attention, and money. It will range from giving up your favorite liquid body soap because you realize that it has micro plastics and opt for a bar instead, to no longer being welcome at certain family gatherings because you spoke out against racism or bigotry. Maybe it's uncomfortable to advocate for transparent pay policies at work and be labeled by some colleagues as “difficult”. Maybe a friend, or partner or parent doesn’t like you who are becoming. Sacrifices and discomfort will be required to live a life of personal integrity.

Some days it will all be too much—too tired, too many emotions, not enough sleep, or rest, or water. Events stream into our ears, our eyes read the headlines, day after day. The reality is that there is a lot of pain in the world - the suffering of humans, animals and the planet can be too much to bear. The human heart isn't meant to hold it all, it's overwhelming, so it's understandable that we shut down at times.

I think we’ve all experienced this feeling, far too often lately.?

Not only is it a necessity that we give ourselves permission to rest, breathe, and ground, but this is the natural ebb and flow of life. The human experience is more closely tied to structures in nature than capitalism leads us to believe. We are not productivity machines - we do not require simply energy and instructions. Our systems, both internal and external, are far more complex. The nature that many of us do not live in, still lives within us. Noticing and accepting our season of rest when it arrives is critical to continuing our work. Give this to yourself, honor your own humanity with compassion, and nurture yourself as often as possible, for this will help you continue your work.

Again, let’s return to the truth that this is your work, your values, your integrity to protect and honor.?No one is going to save us. We have to do the hard work, each of us - for ourselves, and for each other. As we become more aware that it is our job to save and nurture ourselves, honoring our values with action, this knowledge leads to the frightening truth, that as much as we may deeply desire otherwise, we can't save anyone else either.?

You can't rescue me, nor I you. We can however offer care and support in the form of love. One of the definitions of love is "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another", it is this love I believe we can offer. While our individual journey may be solely our own, we are all walking through this life together. At different places and in the midst of different struggles one thing rings true, people need people. Love, connection, support, human to human interaction, shared enthusiasm and joy construct the elements that make our human experience so special. While honoring the autonomy of each human for themselves, we can offer love and kindness, empathy, and grace.

The last few years have been hard on us all collectively. It’s in these times in particular when folks may seek to give and seek that benevolent love. If you are lucky, you have a friend or partner you can turn to who can hold space for you. Maybe in this moment you have the capacity to hold space for someone else. This is the “work” of the community. This is how love can uplift, rather than rescue.

If you’ve made it this far you might be asking, "isn't this a travel industry article? How is this relevant"?

Im glad you asked! As the founder and CEO of a values-based, mission-driven, conscious organization, we seek to engage in activism every day and stretch the positive impact as far as it can reach. I feel very honored to have peers, friends, colleagues and mentors that I deeply respect - it is something I hope to never take for granted. I also hope to grow an even greater community; to learn from the experiences of others, to receive guidance, and to offer a helping hand where I can be of service. Perhaps this message can be one of inspiration, I hope that's true.

It is also an invitation.

As I endeavor to be a part of collective action in those areas I believe need and deserve my attention, and commit to small everyday shifts, I do so with the awareness it's all too easy to miss a blindspot when we are engaged in doing “good work”. I hope that I never confuse doing my part toward the change I seek with coming to the rescue of any one person, community or culture. I hope I never confuse my experience as being more valid that another's. That I don't misplace my responsibilities as falling to someone else. And that if I were to make these mistakes, someone, an activist perhaps, will step into the discomfort and point out my error, so I can do better in the future.

In the community I hope to be a part of, honesty and truth are at the heart of things. Depth and integrity guide our discussions. Even when, or better yet, especially when, it's uncomfortable. The work of coming to our own rescue includes setting aside our egos and protective armor, to serve humbly. I have far more to learn than I could ever teach. A community of actions aligned with values. Where we accept our responsibility for conscious action with the understanding we will always be a student in the school of life and the good work will always need doing. Where we are cultivating our lives to Be the type of person who takes conscious action, invites the discomfort and sacrifice, nurtures and rests and whenever possible, offers to others kindness, support and love.

Okay, so no one is going to save us, and somebody else isn't going to do all the things for us, but here's the good news - We can trust ourselves to be that somebody. To be one member of the community made up of somebody's doing something. I know there are millions of others that have been at their work long before I figured any of this out. From one somebody to another, I hope I sustain on my singular journey, and though it is solely mine, I need not walk it alone.