One of the Biggest Mistakes in Tackling Difficult Conversations (And How to Avoid It!)
Nicola Richardson - Management Consultant
Empowering SMEs in handling challenging conversations to strengthen employee relationships using my COMPASS model | DiSC Facilitator| Difficult Conversations Mentoring and Training | LinkedIn Top Voice
Visualise this - You've finally summoned the courage to chat with that underperforming team member.
You've got a vision for improvement, but as you start talking, you find yourself criticising everything they've done wrong.
Oops.
This, my friend, is one of the biggest mistakes small employers make when tackling difficult conversations. They judge the present while trying to paint a picture of a better future.
Why is this such a problem?
Because when we paint the past and present as rubbish while trying to inspire change, we're inadvertently attacking the very people who've gotten us to where we are now. Those "old guards" you're criticising? They're the ones who've built your business to this point.
No wonder they get defensive!
Instead of playing judge and jury, try being a visionary:
?? Honour the work that's been done.
?? Celebrate the foundation that's been laid.
?? Then, from that place of appreciation, invite your team to join you in creating an even brighter future.
It's not about tearing down the old to build the new. It's about building on what's working to create something even better.
Remember, your team is more likely to follow you into the future if they feel valued for their contributions to the present.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: "Nicola, this all sounds great, but how do I actually handle these tricky conversations?"
Well, let me share a few tips:
1. Start with curiosity, not accusation. "I wanted to chat with you about X. Can you share your perspective on the situation?"
2. If emotions run high, stay calm. Acknowledge their feelings: "I can see this is upsetting for you."
3. Focus on growth, not blame. "Here's what I've observed. How can we work together to improve this?"
4. It's okay to be human! If you fumble your words, take a moment to gather your thoughts.
5. End productively. Summarise key points, agree on actions, and set a follow-up date.
Remember, the goal isn't to "win" the conversation, but to understand each other better and find a constructive path forward.
With practice and the right mindset, you can turn these dreaded chats into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships.
Need more support in mastering difficult conversations? Let's chat about how my COMPASS Conversation Model can help you navigate these tricky waters with confidence and compassion.
Up to the 14 September, the Conversations Catalyst programme is on special offer to celebrate back to school and now only ￡450.
Dm me for more details and to book.
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Nicola Richardson is The People Mentor, with over 30 years of experience helping small business owners navigate workplace challenges.
As the creator of the COMPASS Conversation Model, she empowers employers to handle difficult conversations with confidence and compassion.
With Nicola's guidance, you can transform workplace conflicts into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships.
?Setting You and Your Business Up For Success - with simple understandable tools and frameworks that you can actually do! ?
2 个月I totally agree it's not just a small business owner's issue I think it's everywhere. I was having a conversation yesterday with my 10 year old about setting boundaries with his friends!
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2 个月Very informative Nicola Richardson - Management Consultant I still can’t believe how many people act like an ostrich, and will not have this conversation. in the past always do regular coaching session with small targets to achieve.
Business & Executive Coach | Scaling Up Strategic Planning Facilitator | Keynote Speaker
2 个月This is a very helpful post Nicola! I like to form it into a feedback sandwich, which is along the lines of what you said. Two positives surrounding the "negative". Only practice makes it easier, but it's not exactly a situation you want to find yourself in often.
Habit Breaker/Neuroscience Expert | Quickly Showing Leaders Their Biggest Opportunity for Gains | Family-Centered CEOs and Entrepreneurs
2 个月I agree! You gave some great examples and insight. Taking on the hard conversations takes courage and practice to do it in a way that advances both the business and employees' goals. Thank you for your post today.
I Provide Recruiting Solutions To Local CPA Firm Owners & Leaders By Delivering Untapped Talent At A Price Point That Won't Break The Bank
2 个月"Remember, your team is more likely to follow you into the future if they feel valued for their contributions to the present." Love how you put that Nicola Richardson - Management Consultant