The one biggest challenge facing childhood

I have for a long time been having an internal debate on what the one biggest challenge is that our children are facing. I have asked numerous professionals for their opinions and everybody differs. I have read research articles, consulted books and spoken to children themselves. Still, no conclusive answers.

I think I may have stumbled across the answer. I think I know the answer to the one biggest challenge facing childhood.

• Did you know that as you read this, there is a child somewhere in the world...either self harming, getting drunk or engaging in underage sex. In fact, somewhere there is also a child running away from home, being sexually abused or watching pornography.
• Did you know that 1 in 9 people go to bed on an empty stomach. How many of those are children? The Independent Newspaper reported at the end of 2017 that an estimated half a million children in the United Kingdom go hungry a day! Right now there are also billions of child literally eating themselves slowly to death with preservative rich junk food as they consume You Tube videos and surf the net.
• Did you know that according to UNICEF, about 1,3 million children were displaced in Iraq after the Islamic war? This is just one war and how many are still to come?
• Did you know that there are 168 million children worldwide trapped in child labour. This means that the shirt you are wearing, or the coffee you are drinking or the chocolate you crave could have cost more than the money you paid for it. It could mean a lost childhood.
• Did you know that somewhere in the world, a child is heading up their household. They are responsible for feeding and protecting their siblings. Those that aren't so lucky to still have a roof over their head are living on the street.
• Did you know that by 2020 the World Health Organisation predicts that mental health problems in children will increase by 50%. Global suicide statistics in youth are still relatively uncertain, but one only has to turn to the "pages" of social media to see horror stories of lives lost too soon.

I think by now, you are getting my point....

It is really hard to accurately pinpoint exactly what the biggest challenge is because there is so much that is impacting on our children.

So, I want you to consider this scenario.

Let us separate economic differences, religious differences, race differences, sex differences and demographic differences.

Let us imagine a world where every child is born equal. Looks the same and has the same upbringing. Their parents were also born equal and look the same and were raised the same way. There is no war, no strife, no hunger, no competition. Just a humble existence for their basic needs. No meaning, but just living with a comfortable day to day existence.

Children get to play - no need to learn to hard because there's no future expectations. Parents get to work - no need to work to hard because there is nothing to aspire to. There is a general complacent happiness and then the cycle repeats itself into the next generation. Life is easy because choices are easy.

Now think of modern day childhood. Busy. Busy. Busy. Go. Go. Go. So much to do and so little time. So much choice!

The biggest challenge facing childhood, could in my opinion be the plethora of choices children are faced with on a daily basis.

This is not limited to age though. Think of yourself as an adult. You go grocery shopping only to have to choose between 20 brands of toothpaste that do exactly the same thing but are packaged differently. From the moment we wake up to the moment we close our eyes, we are making choices.

Our world has exploded into a super highway of information at our fingertips. We have World leaders making decisions that don't model the values of integrity, love and acceptance. We have food that is poisoning our systems and terminal illnesses killing off our loved ones. Our minds are polluted with information that is flung at us from marketeers, bloggers, friends, family...all online and accessible 24/7.

With all of this wonderful choice which gives us a lot of reasons to celebrate, children are actually becoming more limited and confined.

With more choice, there is also more pressure. With more pressure, we see more stress. With more stress we see more problems.

So what is the solution you may ask?

Well I believe that it starts with us as adults. If we role model the values we want our children to live by, many of those problems I listed earlier would simply disappear over time. If we maintained love as the core factor for determining our existence as opposed to money or possessions, perhaps things would change.

However I know this is idealistic thinking. I know that we need more than just token ideas that "put out fires". For instance anti bullying programmes in schools or suicide prevention, whilst with every good intention are trying to equip children. What they are actually doing is focusing on the problem. Think about all the reactive solutions that are out there. Why should we be waiting until our world falls apart one child at a time before we do anything. Why highlight the problem when we could be offering a way of living that avoids bullying or suicide?

I believe that every child deserves to have a Kids Life Coach of their own.

That one adult who has walked the road themselves and can hold their hand and be their tour guide. I am not only talking a fully certified Kids Life Coach who has done the studies and got the certificate to prove it. I am meaning every single adult needs to dig deep to find that inner child within themselves that perfectly positions them to mentor children.

Let's not be naive here. It is our loss of self as adults that is causing problems in children. This is why the work I do as a Kids Life Coach is so important. As an adult who has never had children of my own, I don't see this as a parenting role. I see this as being a guide and role model to a child. I see this as me being the stability the child needs. I see myself as the encourager and motivator. The silent cheerleader always there even when the stakes are down.

So many adults are emotionally "checked out" and unavailable to children.

They are mentally in a bad space themselves and so how can they possibly make good choices when it comes to raising children. It is our responsibility to take care of children and to raise them as fully functioning beings who understand their role in this beautiful world full of opportunity.

I believe we were all put on this earth to make a difference. I think with so much choice, we have been forced to become selfish. Just take a look at children who would rather engage in solitary play on their iPad then climb a tree with their friend. We have lost sight of what fellowship means. This starts with so many adults who are all about self gain at the detriment of their marriages, families and children. Children are soaking it all in.

The one choice you can make as an adult (I assume you may already be doing this...but just in case!) is to get your ducks in a row. Start seeing yourself through the eyes of a child. What are they seeing you do? It doesn't matter in what context. Just start paying attention. Soon you may see things about yourself that you won't like. When you reach for that next cigarette or have one glass of wine too many and stumble home, what is that telling the little eyes who are watching you.

I am not talking perfection here. As adults we don't need to put on a mask and pretend all is okay and that we don't make mistakes. To the contrary, we need to embrace our flaws with grace and impart our own lessons learnt with abundant wisdom. This is the school of life and mistakes are our school master.

Children are no fools and if we are inauthentic trust me they will know. Why do you think the lines of communication are so often broken down in homes. Why do children tell me their problems as a Kids Life Coach and not their parents?

Simply because I don't judge them. I won't bring up their shortfalls in our next "argument". I don't judge them according to their siblings performance. I don't get mad when their score on their report card is too low. I don't try to choose their friends for them or tell them what to wear or to eat all their vegetables.

I simply coach children to become the leaders of their own life by making small micro choices that are within their control. I don't overwhelm them with rules and expectations. I help them to flex their confidence muscles by giving them permission to take the consequences of their own bad choices and use these as their teachers along the way. Just the way we do as adults. We learn through our mistakes so why can't children do the same?

It all seems so simple when you dissect it. All we have to do as adults is be better role models.

Commonly if you ask a parent what they want for their child they say "I just want my child to be happy." If you ask a child of an alcoholic parent or an absent parent who is stressed and working too hard they pretty much say the same. We all want happiness. What this looks like though differs from age to age and person to person.

Perhaps your child doesn't want all those long forgotten toys wrapped neatly under the Christmas Tree? The ones that you threatened to not give them every time they were naughty the month preceding the day of "Santa's arrival". Perhaps what your child really wants is a bit more time with you instead. Maybe they want to sit around a table with you and eat a meal and talk about their day. Maybe all they want is for you to play with them?

Opinions will always differ, but one thing remains the same. A child will always speak the language of childhood if you let them. When this language is suppressed in any way, it leads to problems.

What is that language you may ask?

It is play.

Children all over the world love to play whether on the dusty rural dirt road in front of their mud hut in Africa or in their penthouse apartment in Downtown Manhattan. They all thrive on settling their basic need which is to have fun.

So go and get dirty. Play in the mud. Interact with kids. Speak their language and get back to basics. Make a choice to simplify and reconnect with children. It all starts with you.

Rebranding Childhood is all about reconnecting, reviving and re-energising through building real connections based on talking and not texting. Hugs and not high fives.

You see happiness is a choice. We get to choose everyday how we present ourselves to the world. How we show up is important. So I encourage you to stop looking at the things that are going wrong in childhood and trying to lay blame. Stop blaming technology or the media or bad parenting...blah...blah...blah! Also stop being scared. There is hope....lots of it! It is right at your finger tips and you are not helpless!

If we as adults take responsibility for our own part in the bigger picture, the world would be a better place. If you are sitting on the fence, blaming others for what is happening in children's lives that seems to be spiralling out of control...then I urge you to climb down.

Ultimately the one big challenge facing childhood right now is YOU. With millions of complacent "You's" doing nothing, we are destined for further breakdown. You don't need to do big things, but at least take action. At least make an effort to be a good role model. Stop complaining about the small things and start focusing on the things that actually mean something.

Childhood is short and fleeting and if we hold hands with the children in our care, we can make the journey pleasant and memorable. Too many adults look back on their childhoods with blame and regret. Don't let that be your child. Don't let it be your niece, your nephew. Don't let it be your friends child or your neighbours child. Don't let it be the child in your classroom or your doctors practice.

Take action in whatever way you can. Big or small. It all counts. Just do something.

Children learn to trust us as their role models through our actions. Stay consistent and true and they will follow you.

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Please make contact with me if you are interested in hearing more about my Kids Life Coaching methods and techniques that are being used globally to support children. Or you can visit my school The Kids Life Coach Academy for programmes that you can use to guide you in your own journey as a parent, teacher, therapist or coach.