Be The One - To Answer to the Most Important Question Ever Asked About Civility and Decency

Steve Harrison, my co-author on our book, The Decency Code – The Leaders Path to Integrity and Trust, and I were promoting our new book on a Pennsylvania book club Zoom conversation when, during the question and answer period, one of the attendees raised her hand and said, “I have a really important question. How do I get this started in my organization, family, company, or community?” I was broadcasting from Minneapolis and Steve was broadcasting from New York.

Without hesitation, he literally exploded by saying, “OBSESSION!!”. Then he said it again! “This is the most important question ever asked about civility, decency, integrity, and humility.”

He continued, “BE THE ONE or find the one who can eat, sleep, dream, advocate, irritate, motivate, and inspire decency, civility, honesty, humility, truthfulness, and trust.” Steve was describing himself. And he was right.

He said it with such force there was a lingering moment of silence while everyone absorbed what he had said and writing furiously. But then Steve continued, “IF YOU ARE THE ONE then follow the many, many paths to decency.” And he started this interesting list. He said, “BE THE ONE…

PLEASE NOTE: Steve only mentioned half a dozen or so of these. We have published this full list of “How to be THE ONE,” in several places. I thought it would be helpful if you saw all of the things Steve thought about as he made his comment.

Steve continued, “There are dozens of paths to civility, decency, integrity, truth, and trust:

• “Take as many as you can.”
• “As often as you can.”
• “Every day.”
• “Encourage and show others how to do the same.”
• “Urge them to tell others.”
• “Recognize and encourage everyone who does.”

Getting Started: Keep It Small, Keep It Simple, Just Do It

Steve always urged people to start with the small decencies and make room for larger ones later. What is a small decency?

• Greet coworkers authentically and personally.
• Remember to say please and thank you – or better yet, write thank you notes.
• Before meetings you convene, be the first to sit down and the last to get up.
• Welcome visitors by name – or better yet, call them guests.
• Answer your own telephone.
• Give away recognition when things go well; hoard responsibility when they don’t.
• Convey bad news in person, in private.
• When you make a mistake, admit it, and apologize.
• Avoid criticism, it is remembered and resented forever.
• Make all corrections positively, in private.
• Remember why you like and respect people, tell them.
• Think of new ways every day to be positive, grateful, helpful, and nice.
• Keep a log.

Two Minute Schmooze.

Steve was a long-time Senior Manager and corporate culture innovator, he learned early one simple truth: The long-term success of any company, or organization large or small, local or global, depends largely on its culture.

• Monitor your decency and civility progress every day.
• Work to increase the paths you take daily, every day.
• Challenge yourself.
• Keep a log.
• Show others.
• Encourage others.
• Recognize and acknowledge small decencies when you witness them.

BE THE ONE…that is the ticket.

Note: Steve Harrison died on July 10th, 2021. He revitalized the reputation of an industry and was constructively obsessive about the power of small decencies to make good companies great. He often reminded people, especially very senior people, about those unseen, unconditional but meaningfully small personal acts and decencies that have a powerful long-lasting impact on others, your culture, and the expectations of everyone.

“BE THE ONE, or FIND THE ONE. It’s ok to be obsessive to inspire decency, civility, honesty, humility, truthfulness, and trust.”

Steve rather famously said, “There’s a philosophy of doing business that goes beyond the transfer of goods and services. It calls for a transfer of values known as small decencies.”?

Steve was the author of, “The Manager’s Book of Decencies, How Small Gestures Build Great Companies”. The book is available on Amazon and will change your life, especially if you are The One. America’s culture has been sagging under the weight of division, anger, and confusion for some time now. Many of us have to be The One or find The One to reverse this trend.

Good Luck.

?2024 James E. Lukaszewski For information on reprinting or for the use of this material, editing is not permitted, contact the Copyright holder at?[email protected].