Once you see yourself from behind you are in Cyberspace

Next time a Boy named Bill wants to sell you a Bill of Goods be sure to tell him that you can make a Cow watch PORN. Texans who roll their own used to take their beef on the hoof across the plains to slaughter. On the way Texans who rolled along the trail their own cook and bottlewasher used to listen all quiet into the night for there might be a stampede. And just like in a dimenovel they would run stung by a bee or snake or the cow just may have gotten soused by a travlling snakeoil salesman who wanted a ride but wouldn t ask.

If a cow can get drunk on whiskey there is enough left before turned into a Quarterpound Steak. Left what you may want to ask. If the tail is any indication of a Cow's disposition it can swipe across a touchscreen you wouldn t call it a tie but the BS Meter would work like a dream just the same. Taking a break from a dusty roundup the kerchief drawn up to keep out the horseflies that settle on a cattle the way trackerchips do with humans, dogs and albatrosses waiting for the dogs to chase the herd into a ball of rawhide the lone snakeoilsalesman call him by his last name for surely he ll fake being some eastern fancy doctor who escaped a life of being wined and dined amongst geriatric pioneer folk who couldn t raise the cash or wouldn t sell their last possession to get on that grand shiny trail that leads all the way to MONTEREY BAY where ages past shooners would offload fleabitten chinese goods of silk destined to end up leading a life of an upscale curtain ina Denver Saloon. China was far enough away back then to get the imagination run wild. That cow could swipe its tail to watch PORN but she wouldn t want to know what would happen at the end of a NAILGUN to its head. Hanging around the Monterey Bay Nerds breakaways Hippies with a bunch of pencils to signal their willingness to break if not a leg at least a pencil tried to get a leg up not a horse mind you and not with Michael Todd who was long way ahead of them in the game to lassoo the unbridled masses who being by now addicted for good to SENSUROUND and VISTAVISION. BS Meters left to Texans these folk with unmitigated greed for fine beef and selfstyled vegan cuisine on Sunset Boulevard met in secret donning the mask of everyday Hotel Occupants namely polyester Suits from K Mart AND the rest become known as the doggy eats cow contest to tame the untold masses way beyond what Michael Todd ever imagined and herd them even corrall them just like the Texan SnakeOil Salesman always knew they would one fine day do no better or worse than he ever did when promising to relieve fever the way the cow would lap up his whiskey to cause a stampede. If the reader finds any truth in the high art of scamming the way the snakeoilSalesman did back on the long stretch, the last stretch to the slaughterhouses of the

Chicago Railyard, then he may find it quite possible that the inherited immunity granted to every selfrespecting cow on the soil of the brave and free prairie - immunity to Whiskey foremost - that a drunk cow swiping its tail across a touchscreen could most definetley cause a stampede right into the Rio Grande.