Once upon a time, I had goals.

This was the wall of my room in college for about 3 years.?

Posters, walls, quotes and so much more.?

I was the kind of person who was so excited to get out there and do stuff.?

And now when I try to think about?my desire to work on stuff like side projects and creating impactful things, somehow the same excitement does not come forth. And I really want to know why this is happening. Is it because I'm burnt out? anxious? stressed? overthinking? procrastinating??

But I was all of those things back in college too. What is the difference??

Somewhere over the course of the past year, I fear I may have lost the will of creating things. Or having dreams and goals and thinking of them as achievable. Right now all those goals I had, seem very small and tiny compared to the problems I face in my life on a daily basis. But how do I make sure that I don't totally lose sight of those goals lest they become so blurry?overtime they vanish??

I don't know the answer to that, but I sure can speculate. So, let's do that -

#1: I write the goals down daily. Repetitively. Maybe seeing them in front of my eyes time and again would somehow ignite that curiosity and willpower to bring those goals back to focus so I can work on integrating them in the systems of my daily life??

#2: Or what if maybe the old goals are becoming blurry for a reason? I mean I don't have to have the same goals that I had 3 years back, right? People change and so can the goals change. But if this is happening, then the case of "having current goals and not having the will to work on those" come up and the cycle repeats. Maybe this is not it.?

#3: Let's think about this problem in a structured way.

My problem statement is - I cannot muster up the courage or willpower to work on the goals I always had.

My north star metric would be - getting back the excitement of having goals and enjoying the process of achieving them.

One thing that I learnt a while ago is before diving into solving the problem, get to know the problem thoroughly. Ask the "whys" and the "how's".?

So let's do that. Why can I not muster up the courage or will to work on the goals I always had? What is stopping me? Is it the fear of not succeeding? No I don't think so. Mainly because achieving the goal is a by-product for me, my end goal is enjoying the process.

So, why am I not able to enjoy the process? Did I try out the process? Actively spend time on it and be in the present while solving it? Not Particularly.??

Maybe I am rushing the process and not working on it with the goal of understanding it but rather with the goal of completing it.?Maybe that's the problem.?

Anyway, that's about it.?And I know it may seem like I'm leaving this writeup somewhat unfinished but this article is an expression of my daily thoughts and actions, so I cant put up a solution if I have not figured it out yet.

P.S.?Here's?something you may like.?