"Once I Have Syndrome: Breaking Free from the Waiting Room of Life"

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." — Winston S. Churchill (1941)

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Ever caught yourself saying, “Once I have [fill in the blank], then I’ll start”? Maybe it's “Once I have more time, I’ll focus on my health,” or “Once I have more money, I’ll start that business I’ve been dreaming of.” Welcome to Once I Have Syndrome, a clever little trick the mind plays, keeping us comfortably stuck on standby. And while we’re waiting for everything to line up perfectly, life keeps moving. The question is, why do we keep putting ourselves in life’s waiting room?

The Mind Trap: Why We’re Stuck on “Once I Have”

Once I Have Syndrome is the sneaky idea that there’s some magical “thing” out there—be it time, money, confidence, or even the “right” moment—that will suddenly flip the switch on our motivation. Ironically, though, the longer we wait for this elusive moment, the more we stall, and the more convinced we become that we’re not quite ready yet.

The problem here is conditional progress, that is, tying our actions to external conditions. When we tell ourselves we’ll start something only after reaching a certain milestone, we’re effectively postponing our progress indefinitely. And there’s the irony: by waiting for the “right time” to take action, we never actually take action! As self-help author James Clear points out in Atomic Habits (2018), “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems” (p. 43). Meaning? The only time that counts is now, and the only thing that matters is what you do with it.

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1. Action Plan: Make the Future Feel Small and the Present Feel Big

Instead of obsessing over a distant vision, try zooming in on what’s right in front of you. Ask yourself, “What’s the tiniest step I can take today that brings me closer to where I want to be?” When goals feel big and distant, they get intimidating. But when they’re broken down into digestible pieces, taking the first step feels manageable. As Tony Robbins says in Awaken the Giant Within (1991), “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible” (p. 67). So why not bring a little of that “visible” into your daily routine?

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2. Set Up Systems, Not Just Goals

We’ve all heard about the importance of setting goals, but they’re only one part of the equation. Systems are the habits, routines, and daily actions that keep us moving in the right direction. Think of a system as the “autopilot” that kicks in when motivation starts to fade. A morning ritual, an exercise habit, or even a 10-minute planning session each day can create momentum that builds on itself. To make it manageable, start small—a 5-minute meditation, for example. Stack your routines one step at a time, and let the system carry you when motivation is low.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Start Messy

Perfectionism is the great procrastination partner. Instead of waiting until you’re perfectly ready, embrace the idea of starting messy. In fact, many personal growth experts believe that action itself is the real “confidence creator.” Mel Robbins, in her book The 5 Second Rule (2017), explains that action begets confidence far more than waiting does (p. 112). You don’t need to have it all figured out—just start. Even small actions create a ripple effect, building confidence and momentum over time.

4. Accountability: Share Your Journey, Not Just the Destination

Nothing fast-tracks commitment like a little accountability. Find someone you trust—maybe a friend, coach, or mentor—and share your journey, not just your destination. Whether it’s checking in weekly or sharing small wins along the way, having someone in the loop will encourage you to keep going, especially when things get tough. They say if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.

5. Celebrate Your Wins—Every Single One of Them

In a world where we’re always chasing bigger and better, it’s easy to overlook the progress we’re making. But here’s the thing: celebrating small wins rewires your brain to crave more positive actions. Studies even show that people who celebrate small victories are more likely to stay motivated in the long run. So, at the end of each day, jot down one thing you accomplished, no matter how small. Consistency in recognizing growth builds long-term motivation.

The Time is Now

Let go of waiting—because the future belongs to those who start now.

"Imagine for a moment that ‘ready’ isn’t a requirement—what would you do right now? If your answer is ‘I’d start,’ then you’re already shifting forward. Personal growth doesn’t happen when everything lines up perfectly; it happens when you align yourself with this very moment, using exactly what you’ve got, exactly where you are.

Think about those 'once I have' excuses you’ve been holding onto. Write them down. Then, next to each one, note a single action you can take today to make that vision less of a dream and more of a reality. Every step you take, no matter how small, builds momentum and makes the journey more fulfilling. Let go of waiting—because the future favors those who start today."*

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