Once Burned

The last couple of years have not been kind to many of us. Bushfires, Covid, Floods, Covid, more Floods. As with many of you, I’d like to wipe out that time from 2020 until now…But I can’t, and if I could, I know I wouldn’t be in the head space I am now. You see I have really learnt from the trials and tribulations, both real and imagined, over those past years. I’ve learnt about friendships, I’ve learnt about depression, anxiety, the destructive relationship alcohol can have on your life, I’ve learnt about forgiveness and redemption, and I’ve learnt to heal and move on.

I’m Steve Wisbey OAM. Hailing from the Macarthur Region in NSW Australia, I’ve been a radio announcer, entrepreneur, retailer, marketer, fundraiser, hellraiser and restaurateur. I lost my award-winning hospitality business, Upstairs@Fred’s, to fire in 2020 and I’ve been off the radar for a long period, a self-imposed wellness break from social media and business endeavours. I’ve been a very public person with a big personality that privately struggled to move forward from depression.

I think losing a business to something you had no control over is worse than, say, Going Bankrupt because you’re bad at business. I can blame an economic downturn. I can rationalise “I handled the business affairs in a way that wasn’t prudent” …I can get “I ran the place into the ground and spent all the money on collectible Star Wars figures in mint packaging” or that “I loved owning a bar so much I drank all the profits”. I don’t think I would have taken so long to get over the trauma if the loss of my business had actually been my fault.

I believe it’d be the same for victims of flood or a natural disaster, even Covid. Totally out of your control and devastating your business as you stand by helplessly watching everything you’ve worked for disappear. The times you spent away from your kids, the family gatherings, and events you had to miss out on for the sake of the business, the years of your life consumed for nought! Seeing my deeply loved business burn to a crisp and knowing I couldn’t prevent it, that it was totally out of my control, and that it didn’t even start in my premises was what probably affected me most!

I didn’t seek professional help at first. I’m being honest in the hope that if you’re reading this you’ll take it on board. If your business floated away and you’re not coping, or you’re feeling like you’re going down the drain, it is OK to seek help. Speak to a professional, share with friends, get down on your knees and pray. You need to find what works for you to clear your mind and make rational good choices for you and your business. Now, having gone through this I would recommend before, during and after therapy for businesspeople. "That sounds like continual therapy?" What I mean by therapy too will be different for each of us. Before you start your business, it might be in-depth research of what you’re going to do with your partner or a business mentor, be open to opinions and take things in, take notes, absorb …even if you’re like me, and most of the entrepreneurs I know, you’ll be fixated and nothing will stop your creative inertia because your belief in yourself and your idea is unstoppable. Learn that you can’t always be “ON” and you need to rely on others at times in business and in your personal life. It isn’t always an easy lesson for driven individuals (the narcissists among us really need more therapy than I can offer).

It is therapeutic for humans to share ideas and feelings and it is a great way to find inspiration and sound board your ideas. My good friend Andre’ Moreitz always tells me I “have ten million fantastic ideas spinning around in my head but you only need one at a time to concentrate on.” It’s good advice and he provides free therapy. I am sure the invoice is in the mail.

During the operation of the business, I never considered speaking to someone other than my trusty Accountant about the unbelievable financial and managerial stresses at different stages. I should have, It would have helped me with navigating the pros and cons of situations and mentally prepared me for the unexpected. I could have clearly had an exit strategy without the emotional attachment I had to the business. Through this loss I am an advocate for getting help because I don’t want businesspeople to feel how I felt and go through that deep depression. We have lost too many great people. You can feel that you are defined by your business. You are the business. The business fails or is lost, You have personally failed!! The fact is you are an amazing worthy individual and your business has no love for you or emotional attachment to you. Your business could care less, but the people in your life care. There is no shame in asking for help and talking about your feelings around your business life. Work out what your therapy is and Get Therapy!

A lot of people are expecting me to reopen Upstairs@Fred’s But it is time to leave Fred’s behind, It won’t be making a comeback. It will be left for others to do a google review in their heads about how much they loved it or hated it, for me “I give it 5 Stars for Experience and Learnings and 1 Star because the bar service always took too long and I didn’t like the colour of that managers hair changing so often, It was confusing. I couldn’t tell who was serving me…Also my Carpaccio was raw meat!! Can you believe that? RAW!! I’ll never darken their door again!”

For about 3 decades now I’ve been involved in fundraising for charities and those times have been some of the most memorable and rewarding. I have met some inspirational kids and families, and I have shared some very emotional experiences. I have been absolutely blown away by the money we’ve raised and the generosity of everyday Aussies. I’ve also given away great prizes, auctioned off a zillion framed footy jerseys, and created some great events.

My new business, Cornerstone Community, has been born out of that wish to follow my gut and my Wife’s meme advice “Do What You Love, Love What You Do”.

Cornerstone Community is a membership site offering exciting prizes and experiences through free entry trade promotions. I want the ability to give ordinary Australian families the chance to save on products and services across the country during these challenging times and I want to promote those business partners to receive more traffic to close sales with our members. I want members to win genuine prizes from reputable businesses with transparent odds that will really put a smile on their face! I then want to make significant financial contributions, starting with a minimum of 30% of profit, to Charities that our members would like to support in their community. It is altruistic but not unrealistic. We can literally make tens of millions of dollars as a community and spread the love in our backyard!

We go live at the end of March for every State except ACT/SA. I’d like to encourage any business owners, CEO’s, gate keepers or marketing managers, to have a look at our website and register interest as a business partner. It’s Free. I’m committed to making Cornerstone Community the number one Australian membership organisation that can respond to the needs of charities in communities across the country through exciting trade promotions. Together we’ll generate dollars to provide life changing experiences, prize giveaways and discounts for members at the same time as we’re helping people that really need a hand. I would really appreciate your support.

I want your business to receive revenue from our members, I want our members to save money and win prizes and I sincerely want to give most of it away so we can build a better community. It is about recognising charity begins in our own backyard “Neighbours In Need” and thinking about how we can create better conditions in our own backyard for businesses and the customers doing business. I believe wholeheartedly in capitalism; this is not about a socialist ideology of redistribution of wealth … It is about creating wealth so as business owners we can make decisions on what we want to do with that wealth and we have the means to give it to organisations we believe in. We are effecting change in our community through this exchange, and it could be huge!?

www.cornerstonecommunity.com.au to register your interest.

I hope your business will join our journey and I trust you’ll reach out to someone for some therapy when you need it. Hey, I’m also just a message away too. Love yourself and your community, it will help you move forward.

If you're tagged we'd love you to be a partner to help Aussie Families with Discounts on Your Products and Services!

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