OMG - What is going on????

As an executive coach I spend a big percentage of time partnering with organisations and individuals to maximise their performance, understanding, and overcoming real and imagined obstacles and managing stress.

Over the years I have learnt many skills and tools to help me support others and myself and I am happy to say that they majority of time these tools work. Of the 365 days in a year, for the large majority of the time I manage my own stress, doubts, and dreaded imposter syndrome but every once in a while the devil rears its ugly head.  I would like to say this happens 2 – 3 times a year. My husband said it might be a few more times than that!!!

Tuesday was one of those days. As it comes to the end of the financial year and I start to finalise budget, tax planning and complete end of year reviews I started to have assess my performance over the last year.

I am a planner, I set goals, I put plans in place and I work every day to achieve those goals but sometimes I just don’t achieve those goals. Things get in the way; unexpected events occur and priorities change.

Coincidentally, or maybe the universe was sending me a message, but I started to read the book The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek. I have only read the first few chapters but I have already adjusted my thinking. A “finite” manager sees success only by random and sometimes arbitrary goals and metrics whilst “infinite” managers sees success as begin better and learning from the day before. I want to be an infinite manager not a finite one.

I have now got my self back on track and here are the tools that I used to overcome my self-doubt and imposter syndrome:

1.      Locus of Control

I reviewed the circumstances that have impacted our/my performance this year reviewing what I could have changed and what was out my control. This review gave me insights on what I could have done differently but has also allowed me to accept that I need to acknowledge what was out of my control. Not everything is my fault!!!

2.      I took time out

With my head not 100% in the game I took some time out. I had a long lunch and de-compressed watching Netflix. I love a good binge. I went for a walk and when I went back to work I focussed on the activities I love to do and that inspired me. I did all this guilt free. No point doing this if you are going to feel bad later.

3.      Finding the evidence

Rather than making assumptions about what I did NOT do well I collated the data to understand reality. Compared to this time last year we/I have:

·      Achieved my goal weight – as prescribed by my doctor

·      Committed to exercise everyday

·      Increased the number of participants we are impacting by nearly 300%

·      Doubled the number of customers we are working with including Bega Foods, The Vicinity Group, WEX and LinkedIn

·      Increased the number of amazing coaches on our team to over 20

·      Expanded our geography - we now have customers in the US, UK, Singapore, NZ, and Australia.

Whilst I did not achieve all my goals we have made some significant steps forward.

4.      Call a friend and talk it out

Vulnerability is hard to show at the best of times. Whilst I am pretty comfortable sharing my mistakes and learnings after the fact, it is harder for me to share when I am in the midst of doubt. I called a friend, let them know what I was thinking and feeling and got a good “talking too”. This friend also reminded me to take my own advice. See steps above.

5.      I focussed on what is most important.

That night we had a takeaway dinner. We ate kebabs at the dinner table as a family and laughed. Funny how much a good laugh with people you love can make you put everything in perspective.

So today, as Victorians, we face another potential lock down remember to:

·      Focus on what you can control

·      Take time out if you need it

·      Focus on the facts not stories

·      Call a friend who will be honest with you.

·      Have a laugh (and maybe a really garlicy kebab)!!!

If you are interested to find out more about managing stress and change, check out Peeplcoach – Managing Stress and Change Webinar here