OLD WAYS WON'T OPEN NEW DOORS...BUT CHANGE WILL.

We have heard it all before that "You are what you think" or "If you think you will fail you will fail" or "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is insanity." Yes, these are phrases that are not new to the average person. We have seen these quotes on social media, billboards and in magazines. We have heard them from our teachers and parents but why do we keep doing the same ole' thing and expect different results? Because our brain likes safety and we want to live in our comfort zone. Humans are a creature of habit. Do you ever notice that you drive to work the same way or maybe one different way but you don't want to go a completely new way? or have you ever realized that you like to go to the same exact restaurant over and over again when their are a plethora of good restaurants around you? Why? Because we like to know what to expect. We love to walk around in our comfortable fuzzy slippers and be safe but safety keeps you in the same position over and over again.

Here is another question I bet you have thought of: Did you ever ask yourself why did your old college mate or elementary school friend marry the person they did? In your mind they don't fit. He is too good for her or she is too good for him. Or how is he or she the president of the company and you're not? Or do you ask yourself why am I still in the same position as I was five years ago? Or are you wondering why did so and so get the promotion and you didn't? Its because you tell yourself the same ole' story over and over again. The president likes him or her better because they go to happy hour after work or he or she brown noses the executives and they are not even as smart as me. The reason you are where you are is because you make excuses rather than making a difference. It is because you're not breaking down any barriers. You are living in a safe zone and not in a belief system of excellence. You are where you are because you want to be not because you have to be. If you change your belief system, it will change your actions, which will change your life. I changed my belief system to "They can only tell me NO and if they do I will try again." So, I make it my business to go after everything I want because in my mind--I AM UNSTOPPABLE and that's how I coach.

I remember sitting in first class and I had my book that I had just written in my lap with another motivational speaker book underneath it. The plane was delayed on the runway so everyone was frustrated. I noticed the guy sitting next to me kept looking at my book and looking at his computer too. He was very upset. He was on and off his phone and laptop because it seemed like he was going to miss a big meeting. I just happily said, "Don't beat yourself up, its nothing you can do. You can only change the things you have control of." At first the guy looked at me like he wanted to say mind my business, then he took a deep breath and said, " You're right." And he started laughing uncontrollably and then he said, "What are you a shrink or something and author?" I said, "Yes, I'm an author but not a shrink. I'm a Business & Leadership Coach who helps develop high potential executives into leaders and I motivate them to get a strategic plan, I hold them accountable and then I watch them execute on their goals. I also advise leaders and managers on business matters, goal setting and to push through working in toxic work environments. I am a coach for business and relationships." I tried to tell him as much as I could so that I could peak his interest. He said, " Well, hell. I may need you right now as I'm in a crisis and my team needs some motivating. I'm dealing with a deal that's going bust and my team isn't motivated and three people just quit on me and I'm going to go nuts if things don't get back on track." I said, "Slow down. Relax. We have a three to four hour flight from here to Houston and we are delayed." Let me talk you through some things. And that's just what I did. He loved it. I gave it my best shot at trying to help him with as little knowledge I had but we connected and he was engaged.

He didn't tell me the companies he was doing business with all I knew was that he worked for one of the biggest investment banks in the world. He gave me a general scenario and I gave him my opinion on how he could be more effective with the team in getting things done in a high stressed environment and he loved it. He even went on to tell me about their company doing a women's empowerment leadership day and he thought I would be a great speaker. He would recommend me. I sent him my business packet and three months later, I began working with his firm. All because I found an opportunity to connect, engage and pitch myself. This all happened by me sitting in my seat on my way to a leadership two day business retreat which I was teaching and not afraid of him telling me NO. Instead, I pushed fear to the side and he was open to listening. The old me years ago would have been too afraid to talk to him but old ways don't open new doors.

So, if you are still where you are five years ago, then you are not breaking things up enough. If you want more, GET MORE. Its a mindset. You need to stop making excuses and stories that haven't worked for you because it keeps you in the same position and start doing things differently. You have to push through to get what you want. Here are three of my tips.

1. Be open for change. If you want something you've never had, you have to do some things you've never done before. Stop trying to do it your way. Open up your viewpoint and look at things from a different lens you may learn something new.
2. Network and Connect. One of the biggest things I tell my clients are get yourself out there. Join groups that will help you connect and leverage what you do. You will always meet someone you never would have imagined yourself meeting. Someone always knows someone else. Don't be afraid to pitch yourself like I did on the plane. You never know who you are sitting next too.
3. Push through. They can only tell you NO. Whomever you want to meet, connect with, email, call, or do business with you must PUSH THROUGH. Even if you try to go in the front door and they tell you no then go in the back door. When they tell you no in the back door, go on top of the roof. Ten no's doesn't mean you will never get a yes. The next person you meet maybe your next YES. Don't let anyone take your dreams away from you. Remember the quote I live by: No one gives you success, you take it.

For more information and inspiration go to www.bershan.com for your fifteen minute free consultation through August 31st.