Old people gaslighting young people on the internet

Don’t do this

Dear old people,

Can we talk for a minute?

Earlier this week, I logged into Snapchat and browsed my favorite snapchatters. One in particular I follow because she is doing amazing things with the platform, I’m in awe of her talent and also because I think we’ll all be working for her one day. (no, I’m not telling you who it is, but if you dig around a bit, you’ll also discover her, too.) She disclosed some behavior that was not cool.

She said she gets followed a lot by older people, 50–60+ who watch her snaps for months, but hardly interact with her. After a while, they reach out to her. Once she responds, they say they follow her, recount why, when and where they first added her, and think of her as their daughter. As the exchange continues, they give her advice on how she is uninformed, reminding her how young she is (24) and that she will “get it” once she is older.

Even if you believe it takes a village, you ain’t the village elder. That is something you earn, not something you take because you are older.

Let me say EMPHATICALLY what she is experiencing from members of my 50+ generation is not and never will be me and it is not ok … far from it…

Knowing that some of my generation does this horrible gaslighting manipulation affects my behavior in ways I wish it would not. Whenever I RT her on twitter or promote the cool stuff she is doing, in the back of my head, I think she might be thinking, “Is this old guy creeping on me?” Really, I think about this and sometimes I don’t tweet or RT her because… well, I don’t want to creep her out… (and others… they must get a lot of that, though.)

Here is what is in my head:

I am the past, young people are the future! My job right now is to let go and look for ways to hand the baton over, reach a hand back and find ways to help smart young people accelerate their goals, dreams, lives.. whatever…. whether that is investing money in their projects, partnering with skills, finding ways to promote them, introducing them to my various networks, get out and protest and buy the doughnuts, coffee and pizza or just plain shutting up when they talk … or a combination of any or all of the above…

Key to that is trust… and that is always the sticking point… how does an old guy establish trust with Millennials/GenY? (If you are of this generation, don’t curse me….tell me if there is a better word :-) )

I am who I am and I’m not looking for fame, glory or the chance to “tell you kids how to behave.” They are who they are and?—?please don’t get creeped out, I mean this from my soul and whole heart?—?YOUNG PEOPLE ARE OUR FUTURE… all of our futures… It is they now who will run the world and it is my job to help them do that.. or butt out..… I’ve had my run in the sun…..

Also, I have two kids 26, 31 (and three dogs) I do not need to be handing out more advice than they already try to suck out of me!!!! :-)

Anyway, I watch young talent and am in awe about how much is out there. The level of young talent doesn’t scare me or make me want to “correct” y’alls behavior; it energizes me and assures me that we will all be ok.

I don’t know how to ask for their trust (or it is even something I should be given) other than to just keep plugging and hope they will eventually see me in the same light as I see myself. Maybe the trust won’t come until they also have gray hairs.

That’s ok too; I’ll wait.

I wrote this really short essay a few years back…. maybe it will say better what I am trying to say…

I’d like very much if we were not all just strangers on the internet to each other…. I think real human connections is the key to surviving the seasons of change, the landslide as it were….

PS I know this is coming out of the blue… but this has been on my brain since forever…also, if any young people ever wanted to talk this out on a podcast, I got one… anytime…. no pressure, you’ll may already have said all you needed to say about this on your snapchats…

Originally published at Old Man Stink Show, a podcast.