Okay let's compromise...I'll get my way, and you'll find a way to be alright with that

If we modify our actions and behaviour to suit our context, when is it compromising on our values, and when is it cultural sensitivity?

I was recently faced with a situation that challenged my leadership in a way I haven't been challenged before. The details are not necessary to explain, but it was something that asked me to modify my actions to fit within the cultural context of my school. I'm sure you can all bring to mind a similar situation. For the first time in my leadership journey, I felt torn. On the one hand, this request asked for cultural awareness, intercultural understanding and a sensitivity to diversity of beliefs. But on the other hand, this request was challenging my core values. It asked me to compromise on those values, and that's not right...right?

You don't have to look far into any leadership manifesto to find a sentiment like this. We are taught that leading with authenticity means leading with your values at the core and never compromising on them. A younger me wouldn't have taken a second thought about jumping up on my pedestal, preaching my values and declaring that this was wrong. But eight years into my leadership journey I caught myself pausing and thinking, if we modify our actions and behaviour to suit our context, when is it a case of compromising on our values, and when is it simply acting with cultural sensitivity? Is never really never?

"For a German and a Finn, the truth is the truth. In Japan and Britan, it's all right if it doesn't rock the boat. In China there is no absolute truth. In Italy it is negotiable." (Lewis, 2015)

Erin Meyer (2014), author of The Culture Map, describes our need for 'authentic flexibility' in international organisations where our 'right foot' remains anchored in our cultural values and leadership style, yet our 'left foot' meanders, navigating and adapting to the culture of the context we are in (Meyer, 2017). This 'left foot' is driven by results whilst the 'right foot' is focused on retaining the values of our own culture. As leaders, this leaves us with a choice between pivoting 'left' towards moments of adapting and leaning into the context culture, or pivoting 'right' towards our own cultural values and drawing people in. So, which one is it? And when do we pivot left? When do we pivot right?

Asian cultures tend to avoid compromise seeking to smooth problems over through negotiation and compromise. As Lao-tsu (600 B.C.) said,

“Whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard” (Chui, 2005).

This stems from the concept of mianzi (面子) and a fundamental desire to respect and protect another's reputation or dignity. Barack Obama echoes this sentiment in stating that:

"Compromising does not mean surrendering what you believe. It just means that you are recognising the fact that these people who disagree with you have dignity and worth too. You have to hear them and see them" (Associated Press, 2012).

In this sense, compromise is about embracing a diversity of beliefs and demonstrating respect for those beliefs through your willingness to listen and engage in open dialogue. And this seems even more fundamental in Asian cultures where compromise is valued and mianzi (面子) must be protected.

So, where did that leave me? I went with the 'left foot'. I compromised

I did this knowing full well that this wouldn't have been my response five years ago. Maybe I have softened? Maybe the mianzi (面子) is rubbing off on me? Maybe I was wrong and I should have gone with the 'right foot'?

Reflecting on it now, however, I feel confident that I was acting with true cultural diversity at heart, valuing a desire to respect others over fulfiling my own needs. Valuing a desire to listen over being heard. Valuing open dialogue over proving a point. Or as Stephen Covey says it:

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood" (Covey, 2020).

References

Associated Press (2012) Obama: Compromise is not ‘a dirty word’, YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9ocr7EP1C8 (Accessed: 21 March 2024).

Chui, K. (2005). Managing projects in Asia - the challenge of cultural diversity. Paper presented at PMI? Global Congress 2005. Asia Pacific, Singapore. Newtown Square, PA: Project Management Institute.

Covey, S.R. (2020) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. London: Simon & Schuster UK Ltd.

Chui, K. (2005). Managing projects in Asia - the challenge of cultural diversity. Paper presented at PMI? Global Congress 2005. Asia Pacific, Singapore. Newtown Square, PA: Project Management Institute.

Lewis, R.D. (2015) When cultures collide: Leading across cultures; a major new edition of the global guide. Boston, MA: Brealey.

Meyer, E. (2014) The Culture Map. S.I.: PublicAffairs.

Meyer, E. (2017) Authentic flexibility - understanding cultural differences - Erin Meyer, YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXLOdiDlKlM (Accessed: 21 March 2024).