OK, So I'm Getting Old; Planning Our 20th HS Reunion

I’m kinda old. I don’t feel old. I don’t look old. But…..

This is dedicated to my 37-39 year old crew, my classmates from 2001 - 2004 pose, my “holy-crap why is my body looking sloppy” crowd. You’re probably rolling your eyes if your over 41. If you are 30 you are just happy you’re not quite 38/39 yet, because it still feels far off. It's not. If you’re in your 20’s, you can’t relate yet.

My thoughts are now moving towards the cynical elder millennial who thinks, like we all do, that we finally have a handle on the world. I think I’m writing this because we need to come to grips with our age and reality.

It’s taken 2 kids, 1 gray hair, 20 years, and a lot of experiences to make me feel miss my youth a bit, but speaking to the 23 year olds in my co-working office during the day is a reminder of how far I’ve come along.

There’s nothing that makes me feel more like an old man than being part of the planning committee for our 20th high school reunion. It feels like yesterday that I experienced graduation, senior week, my last weeks as a civilian before leaving for boot camp. It’s been 20 years since I had the excuse of a child’s ignorance.

Now we are discussing how to honor those who have passed, whether the event is going to be child friendly, who is going to verify the location, and what are appropriate ways to advertise to our geographically dispersed classmates. 5 of us, somehow still caring enough and interested in each other, are trying to make the most of the moment.

I have friends that I love dearly that I haven’t spoken to in more than 5 years. I have questions for relatives that I’ve never asked. I have words of thanks for teachers that I lost touch with years and years ago. My friends sometimes reach out to me with stories of our interactions that are lost to my memory - hilarious stories of the wild boy I use to be.

Where did that young dude go!?

In what seems like a daily occurrence, the boys and I find ourselves dancing to rock and hip hop music from 2000 to 2009 on the Bluetooth speaker, turned way up. My son jumping and wiggling through the house, the baby bouncing up and down on his diaper protected butt, I don’t feel old. My body still moves like a well oiled machine. It’s crazy how little they are and much fun and carelessness they still have in them, while I'm moving carefully enough to not pop a hamstring. How silly it would be to have you, my friend, peer through our windows to see this old man in the living room twisting and rhythmical stamping feet with an infant in arms, dancing like MC Hammer in the early 90s.

And then we have the state of the world. In my young days I would turn on the TV or pop open a book to escape the realities of life. Now I can’t turn on the TV because of the commercials and the advertisements for “fix-it-all” pills. I don’t want to pay for 10 different streaming services. Every book, News Update, or Instagram story reminds me that the youth like dancing for attention, and the old like complaining about the atrocities in the world.

Like one of my favorite band’s songs titled - “Getting Old is Getting Old”, I’m tired of feeling like there’s nothing I can do to make change in the world. I think a blessing of life and getting old is the ability to reference a time in the recent past, to be there to instruct the following generations so they don’t make the mistakes of those in our past. Perhaps I can do this more and better moving into the future.

Last month I challenged myself to begin get back in shape, and I'd like to say that it's working. I'll write about that another day. I didn't like the body reflected in the mirror. I didn't want my son to call me, as he affectionately joked - "Fat-Daddy". I want him to see me at my best, in the shape I was in in my mid-20's, but the only way to do that is to work out and live a cleaner life. So, I started doing that, and immediately I started feeling young and good again. It's amazing that the cure for most of our ailments is a certain prescribed activity.

Anyway, if you’ve read it this far you may be waiting for the punchline or an antidote to wrap these words up. I just wanted to write about a certain experience I’m witnessing in myself. But I think a good closing statement is:

Let’s not get “old” before our time. Let’s be hopeful about the future, to have wonder about the world, and to be joyous that we have this opportunity to live.