It is OK to Cry.

Last night, as I was preparing for a few dinner guests, I heard from one of my oldest and dearest friends. It is a friendship that has spanned childhood, adulthood, and everything in between. She is absolutely the strongest, toughest, most transparent person I know.  Most importantly, she is the one who lifts us when we fall, reminds us that we are capable, strong women. We are a sisterhood, and a sister always has a sister’s back. If you live in Rhode Island, where we live, it is pronounced “SISTAH. And I mean SISTAH. “ 

What was different about this message was that one of my “people” was rattled. She was rattled with fear, anxiety, and sadness. She is keenly self-aware with an excellent level of emotional intelligence, so the fact that she was making herself this vulnerable scared me a little; well, a lot!   If JJ is feeling this way, YIKES! Maybe the world is falling apart. 2020 IS a shit show. (Pardon my profanity.) Honestly, there is no other way to describe it.

I could make a long list of reasons why we will forever remember it as the Nightmare of 2020, but we are all on the same page.

I quickly tried to think of the right words to say to the person who usually is my rock, thinking that nothing could ease her pain. Truthfully, I was feeling the same way and have been for some time. I combat the urge to fall apart by writing and researching. It has saved me from some significant melt-downs in the last couple of months. I thought for a minute and then responded that I agreed and felt that the “End of Days” was near.  We have never experienced anything like this. It is the worst thing our generation has known.  I keep telling myself there is a reason. More of us are connecting with our families at family dinners. We connect with our children on a different level as we try to support their distance learning. There is more sitting around the table, the living room, watching movies, and playing games. I am grateful for those moments.   The other gals chimed in, offering support. They encouraged her to let it out and vent.  That’s what friends do. She did. She cried. She needed to cry. I cried too.

You know what? We all need to cry. We all need to let a little out so we can let some go. We are all wondering how we will sustain our families. We are all wondering when we will get a job. We are all wondering how we will recover while the US and the rest of the world are nothing short of a three-ring circus, and we are all the sideshow. IT IS AWFUL. IT IS HORRIBLE. We will get through it.

I have said this before, and I will repeat it. No matter the outcome, no matter the losses to my family personally or financially, hey- I could end up living in my “she-shed” office. I never want to forget what this time has felt like, so that when we get to the other side (and we will), I never, ever forget to be grateful.

 It is never a sign of weakness to be self-aware and acknowledge an emotion when you have one. So cry, let it out, and let some go.