Oh Baby!

For almost a year I’ve been quite MIA and under the radar. That’s because your girl had a baby!

Yes, I said it, a whole human lol. It has been a wild ride to say the least because everything changed by the days and weeks and before you know it, you have a tiny human being in your arms to take care of for the rest of your life. This period of silence has seen my body change like never before and growing at a rapid pace, changing jobs twice and being hit hard with the reality that my life will never be the same again. That means my goals are not the same and my priorities have had a major shift.

I wanted to make sure that I at least kept one thing constant, and that’s my love for writing, inspiring and sharing with the world. After all, we need a little love, light and color in this world.

Since my 2024 delivery of my baby boy, I reflect on what I’ve learnt and appreciate so far as well as, the way forward, like what will happen to my newsletter? What will I write about now?

Well, all I know is life is still “life-ing” and my thoughts on adulthood will always be changing, so that means more content!

So let’s start here with five things I didn’t expect from my delivery to now…

1.?????? Delivery can get complicated

Spending nine months growing a human and experiencing the weekly and monthly milestones was amazing. The round ligament pains and Braxton hicks eventually became a part of my everyday but I was just fascinated with what my body was doing. However, at my nine-month mark things changed really quickly like within a day of a doctor’s visit I had an early admission. Things moved so fast during my hospital stay and there were concerns I didn’t expect to arise that could affect the baby and myself. After delivery there can be complications that you would never expect, and that would also prolong your healing time. It is now I have an even greater respect for motherhood because it takes great strength to bring a baby into this world.

2.?????? Postpartum Anxiety

I don’t think this is talked about enough. I would say around four days postpartum I started to experience the most intense anxiety I’ve ever felt in my life. It was like I could not escape my thoughts of worry and fear. I felt like I couldn’t possibly do this parenting thing and I just wasn’t cut out for it. I made a quick call to my aunt, doctor, sister and mother all in the same day because I couldn’t spend another night feeling this way. I ended up charting a plan of action immediately to help support me during this period and within a week I started to feel better. At the point of writing this I still feel anxiety in my day to day but I am more confident in how to manage it and when to reach out for help.

3.?????? Cost of Formula

Now was anyone gonna tell me that formula cost a fortune? Lol. One day I asked what the cost of a tin of Enfamil was and I was so shocked learn it cost almost $4,000 JMD and there are more expensive ones on the market. I currently do a combination of breastfeeding and pumping with formula only as a supplement. I experienced lactation issues for the first two months and at one point my milk supply almost disappeared. I took it to Google and started fighting the good fight to bring my milk supply up. I cried, I prayed and I tried and still do. Currently, I will use only one tin of formula per month and I am happy to say my efforts have been keeping me from spending thousands of dollars that could be allocated elsewhere.

4.?????? Lack of Sleep

I heard about new parents being sleep deprived but I did not expect it to be every day! I have not had quality sleep since February 1st and each day I’m patiently waiting for the tide to change. In the first few weeks the sleep deprivation took a serious toll on my mood and possibly increased my anxiety. It was hard to focus and be present when I needed it most. I had to slow down and breath and just take it slow. Certain tasks I would love to tackle had to be left for another day or rather many days or a week. By week nine after delivery the baby started sleeping for longer stretches and that extra two hours has made a huge difference. Yes, I’m still exhausted but not irritable and that much fatigued. In the mean time I practice just taking it one day at a time and rest as much as I can when I can.

5.?????? Love

I left this one for last because it is the most impactful one on my list. “Love” hit me differently on this new journey of parenthood. It has not been easy and when I would normally stress over certain things, the love I have gained for my son has been all encompassing. I have never felt so in love with someone before. Just looking back at the beginning when I first heard his heartbeat to his first cry and now in my arms every day, brings me so much joy. It’s like a love story him and I, and I’m all here for it. The exhaustion, sleepless nights, ups and downs do not compare to the love I have gained for such a precious human being.

Let’s face it, adulting can be hard but there are rewards too. I written about my emergence into this era and shared my ebbs and flows that either irritate or teach me, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to help others know they aren’t alone. That’s right, you hear that? You are not alone and as such for what in adulthood they didn’t tell me, I’m here to tell you.

I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it. I’ll see you on the next one.