Sorry (not actually) to say this, but you should stop saying sorry so often. This has become a second nature for many of us to say sorry even in situation that doesn't really warrant it. But this overuse of the word 'sorry' can really backfire on you. Using this word too much might diminish the gravity of your future genuine apology, might portray you as insecure and mostly; it might lower your self-esteem.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of places where a heartfelt apology might be necessary. But there are other situations, specially at your workplace where you might want to use another word other than 'sorry'. Here are 7 tips on how to do this effectively:
- Replacing sorry with thank you: Build up the good habit of not saying sorry by replacing the word with 'thank you'. If you missed someone's call, instead of saying "Sorry, I missed your call" say "Thank you for reaching out to me". Who doesn't like to hear thank you, eh?
- Joining in a conversation: If you have ever been in a situation where you have attempted to chime in on a conversation by saying, "Sorry, I would like to say/add...", don't. You do not need to apologize in this case when you can say something like " I would love to add/I think that...". See how nice it sounds?
- Making a request: You need to ask something to your colleague. You knock on their door and start with "Sorry to bother you..". Sounds familiar? Now try this instead: go to your colleague's door, knock on it and say "Is this a good time to chat about.." or "do you have a couple of minutes..?" Make a conscious effort to avoid saying sorry.
- You have made an error: We are human after all. We make mistake when we don't intend to. How many times you have said sorry when you are trying to apologize for your mistake? Did that ever make you feel less significant or small? Well then why don't you try saying something like "I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention, how can I improve it?" or "Thank you for your valuable feedback". Feels different, right?
- Apologizing for someone else: If you have missed a deadline because of your poor time management, sure! Go ahead and do a sincere apology. But don't offer an apology on behalf of your colleague or for a difficult client. If a project wasn't finished on time, say "the project took longer than expected. I'll have it ready for you by...". Take ownership of the problem and try to resolve it instead of apologizing for someone else.
- You are experiencing technical issues during meetings: In the age of work from home, we are pretty heavily reliant on virtual meetings using our digital devices. Even after you've made sure everything is set up right, technical difficulties do occur which can be often out of your control. Rather than apologies in these situations (specially when it's not your fault at all), try something like "I appreciate your patience" or "Thank you for working with me on this". You don't feel so guilty anymore, do you?
- Don't say anything at all: This is the end of the line. Stop your inner guilt-trip. Avoid the nervous mindset. You are at the office to do your assigned job, and an integral part of that is asking for feedback. Don't apologize for asking feedback, don't apologize for asking for help when you need it. Instead, get straight to the point and ask for whatever you wanted to ask for. Chances are, your colleagues will appreciate it.
So, stop overusing the word 'sorry'. Rather start focusing on what value you are adding at your workplace by using your skills and experience. Know that overcoming bad habits takes time and practice. You might stumble, and that's totally normal. Get back up and start practicing again. Better yet, partner up with one of your trusted colleague so that you can keep each other on-track. Sounds like a plan?
