Office Work might lead to no good, experts warn

I keep getting (and sometimes reading) articles and comments stating downsides or risks of remote work. People might move less, be more alone, be less connected and so on. There's always some expert pointing out these risks. Funny, I keep thinking, for two reasons: First, life always comes with risks. If you use a refrigerator, you might drop the milk inside some day and find yourself cleaning the entire thing for hours. If you lick an ice-cold bike rack, your tongue might get a bit more attached to it than you wanted. I mean even if leave your house to report on the storm in a coastal town, you might get smacked in the face by a fish - who knows!

The other thing I find funny is this: Stating these risks and negatives feels like defending everyday office work against the changes technology and the pandemic have brought. So, I thought: Why not turn tables and pretend for a moment remote work was considered "normal" until something forced us to invent offices to gather and sit at a desk close to each other.

Here's my piece of fiction.

Office Work might cause a row of infectious diseases, among other risks, experts say.

In the aftermath of the new "1hr" legislation of the New Government, enforcing no person is in the same house or apartment longer than one hour, various experts are warning about the effects the new "Office Work" trend will have on society, health and the planet.

Experts on mobility, traffic planning, urban planning, environmental and sustainability goals as well as health secretaries had recently joined to put together a first list of risks and dangers arising from a new surge in "commuting" (the massive transit of people from their homes to central office buildings and vice versa around the same time every workday).

Here's a few of them:

• Infections could surge if people are moving in public transport in high numbers every day
• Sitting on a bus or train each day instead of doing some sports or walking in your neighbourhood could lead to blood cloths and deficiencies of the lung system
• It is unclear how all the new roads, bridges, tunnels as well as means of public transport should be build or financed in such a short time
• The transport of so many people at the same time will lead to new high-risk infrastructure and make the economic system much more vulnerable to attacks or catastrophes
• The same account for the office buildings itself: Work labour, finance and single point of failure are serious dangers
• Central food courts ("canteens") could raise the risk of more infections and food poisoning, health experts say. As one member of the health committee put it "Imagine one ingredient being foul, and it's fed to hundreds of office workers at the same time - I can see a Falafel-Gate on the horizon"
• There are legislative issues with mass commute, too: How are people affected who don't commute? Or those who had to before the "1hr" law?
• Who is going to pay for the cars which will be needed - at least for the first few years when public transport and cycling infrastructure is still not fit for massive commute

There are psychological problems, too. Bullying at the workplace will soon be on the rise, so it is expected. Creativity is going to drop if everyone is trying to find different ideas in the same surroundings. Whole careers might be destroyed when the extroverts take over. Finally, the loss of compatibility of private life with work life will probably lead to losers in the game, most probably women.

A sociologist at the gathering pointed out that the trend to work in centralised offices will most likely destroy traditional neighbourhoods, connections between the people in an area and lead to less and less community feeling and public life in areas where people live.

If that wasn't enough, wait for the environmentalists to speak up:

• Land use will reach levels totally unfit for climate adoption
• Offices will not only duplicate the space used for "knowledge work". "Meeting rooms" or "Workshop spaces" which are going to be necessary in case more than two or three people will want to collaborate synchronously in the future will raise the amount into even higher realms
• Cities won't be able to act as sponges any longer if more and more ground is sealed by office buildings, roads, and parking
• Animals and plants will suffer to unknown extents
• Pollution from "commute", delivery traffic, heating and so forth will rise
• Environmentalists especially point out that all the above will harm everybody: Children, elderly people and labour that is not dedicated to knowledge work

We have asked one CEO who doesn't want to be named yet what he thinks of the "Office Trend"? Here's his short and clear answer:

"How do people think this is the future? It sounds like a nightmare to me!"

Well, this was fun.

I could and maybe will go on with the list. What I'm trying to say is looking at some of the opinions and reactions to remote work, one might wonder how people are dealing with change. I am no advocate for a 100% solution on either side. All I am trying to say is this:

Stop pretending the past was an optimum.

Stop confusing what you know and how you like things to be with "normality" (that's worth a whole rant some other time).

Get on with live.