Office genius quotations

I won't mention any names, but the following is a list of pure-genius quotations from just one person in the office over the course of a couple of years. Loved sitting opposite you for two and a half years. Enjoy.

1. Leslie Neilsen - wasn't he in Aerosmith?

2. I've had a release from a museum of ancient artefacts - looks like it was written in ancient times!

3. Odd - when you buy cheap shoes, they don't last very long.

4. I haven't used my pink highlighter at all today. Usually it's straight out in the morning.

5. I get confused between departures and arrivals at airports - I just don't get it!

6. I'm quite intrigued by meditation…it's quite popular, but what do you actually do?

7. Why does the water taste of cucumber today?

8. For sure….definitely, potentially.

9. Can I take a yoga mat on the plane - I can't possibly go 4 days without Pilates….

10. I'm terrified of sushi

11. Everyone has gone crazy for buffalo down our road.

12. I couldn't wear a high-vis tabard for fire duty - it wouldn't go with my outfit

13. My friend had a spray-tan and woke up looking like a poo

14. This hotel grows its own syrup in its garden

15. That Excel spreadsheet, with those formulas - probably the most traumatic thing I've ever seen.

16. The most important thing not to forget when going on holiday? A Bikini.

17. I've just got to adjust my peas

18. I kissed Will Carling's clothes peg

19. I hate seagulls - they're really mean

20. I do look at people's legs: I have an obsession with thigh-gaps.

21. I'm going to have a banana. Or shall I reserve it for the morning? No, I'm going to have an apple.

22. Oh it's awful there. It's a complex with bowling and all that awful stuff.

23. I'd quite like to go to Wales really.

24. I'll do something really big for my fortieth birthday: if I'm still alive.

25. Is there anywhere warm to see the Northern Lights? They look lovely - but I just like the sun.

26. I've never met anyone who didn't like a baked potato

27. Of all the highlighting colours, I think pink is my favourite.

28. I have an 'unexplainable' need to click my big toes

29. My bedroom is a digital-free zone

30. Ohh - how exciting - I changed my font by accident to BatangChe

31. I've eaten a packet of crisps - I don't think I'll be able to eat anything else…ever.

32. I love the sound of hot chocolate: it sounds so substantial.

33. I tried veganism - but couldn't manage without cheese…or milkshakes

34. I don't want to be enclosed in my bedroom

35. If you want it to be dark, just put on an eye mask. Why wouldn't people just do that?

36. I think I'll trim my wick tonight. There's a first time for everything!

37. My dress isn't sparkly, but it is burgundy.

38. I got excited about a magazine called Avocado Life. But it's actually Ocado Life.

39. My right tonsil is really sore. My left one was sore in Australia.

40. It's at the top of my list. I just haven't opened my notebook yet.

41. I know it's cold and might snow - but the bright side is we can all wear our Hunter wellies to work

42. They've not paid for three months? I mean, three months…that's not just a month is it.