Office of The Future, Microsoft & Oracle, Drinking on Stage, How Google Missed The Future, & Scooby Snacks

Office of The Future, Microsoft & Oracle, Drinking on Stage, How Google Missed The Future, & Scooby Snacks

Thanks for reading ??

Welcome to this Different Newsletter.

Musings for entrepreneurs, marketing leaders, creators & category designers.

  • Disliked by many
  • Enjoyed by few

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The Office of The Future

Will have only three employees.

  1. An AI
  2. A dog
  3. And a person

The person’s job is to feed the dog.

The dog’s job is to bite the person if they touch the AI.

??

(Inspired by what the GodFather of Quality W. Edwards Deming once said about the factory of the future)

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Microsoft Does AI Cuddle Cuddle w/Oracle

Microsoft now has access Oracle superclusters of chips, which can apparently contain up to 32,768 Nvidia A100 GPUs.

I asked GPT how many iPhones you need to get that much compute power.

639,000 iPhone 12s.


Nvidia market cap is over $1 trillion.

Making it worth about ten Intels.

Or five Ciscos.


(how good is the term “superclusters”…. almost as good as “super-ding-dong”)

????

Drinking On Stage

Drinking while giving a talk, doing a fireside chat, leading a workshop it is always wise.

To have a drink.

And if you can pull off a no-look pour.

You win extra points with the audience.

Here’s how it’s done ??



At Ray Wang’s Connected Enterprise Conference in 2022

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How Google Missed The Future

While no one was looking.

(Including Google)

TikTok redesigned the way people “search”.

Creating a new category of “social media video search”

Now.

TikTok is the #1 search engine for more than half of Gen Z.


This is made more shocking, ironic, and crazy when you consider that Google is the category king of digital video with YouTube.

So let’s review.

The #1 search company.

Who’s also the #1 digital video company.

(Who also lost $600m on a social network)

Missed how social + video + search (3 categories combined) could come together to design a new mega category and be the future.

??

This is not a new.

Grab something you like to drink.

Pull up a comfy chair.

And let me tell you a pirate story.

??

When I first moved to Silicon Valley in the mid ‘90s, I was told this by an executive who was part of this debacle.

There was once a category called?time-sharing (selling computer time and software… think AWS version 1.0) and a category queen called?Tymshare.

One day they were having an executive team strategy meeting.??

In Cupertino, California.

And a debate ensued about the newly emerging “personal computing” category. And like most incumbents, drunk on the company’s current-day profits, the executives in the room dismissed it.

They unanimously agreed “personal computing” was nothing to worry about.

Simultaneously, through the windows of this exact meeting room where this discussion was happening, you could see the cranes across the street building Apple’s new headquarters.?

Tymshare’s leadership could not see the future being built.

Even though it was happening right in front of them.

????

Shalom.

Stay legendary my friend,

Christopher Lochhead

?? ????

Copyright Category Pirates, LLC

Public Notifications, Legal Warnings

amp; Scooby Snacks


The creator of this Different Newsletter didn’t pay attention in class.

All Different Newsletters contain nuts ??


Before acting on anything you just read please contact your lawyer, doctor, message therapist, marriage counselor, yoga instructor, bar tender, bud tender, spouse, category designer and mommy.

The creator of this Different Newsletter:

-can’t find his hat

-does not possess a GED

-was thrown out of school at 18

-was likely hangin’ out with Mary Jane

-is considered radically incompetent (by many)

-possess multiple learning differences (aka superpowers)

-and The Economist once called him, “off-putting to some”


Book reviewers on the internet have called his work:

“Very shallow”

“Incredibly mediocre”

“Easily one of the worst things I've had the displeasure of listening to.”

And one of the all-time greatest business book reviews:

“This book reads more like an MLM or cult brochure.”


But it’s alright…now

In fact its a gas.

Ya its alright…

I’m Jumping’ Jack Flash

And its a gas, gas gas.

-The Stones


The left lane, is the passing lane.

For the love of God.

Get the fuck out of the passing lane ??

In a vote of confidence for “startup nation” Palo Alto Networks Finalizing $600 Million-Plus Acquisition of Israeli Security Startup Talon Cyber

I don’t feel tardy.

Dog eats owner's passport, putting US couple's Italy wedding in jeopardy

Bra stops bullet

New category “AI Pin” available from from Humane now.

“Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes upon the road”

- The Doors

American shoppers were expected to spend?$700 million?on pet costumes this Halloween, according to the National Retail Federation.?

$700 million.?

On pet costumes!

Subscribe to this Different Newsletter now.

What Loch Ness monster hunters found after biggest search in 50 years

NASA spacecraft discovers tiny moon around asteroid during close flyby

A Canadian farmer who previously had 30,000 chicks go missing in April, has now reported that he lost another 15,000 in mid-May.

All the news from OpenAI’s first developer conference

OpenAI (might be) the most impressive startup ever.

Sam Altman the CEO, doesn’t own a single share in OpenAI.

Did you know that the state of California voted to get rid of day-light savings time years ago?

Yet the state is not doing it.

It turns out.

Law makers in Sacramento are worried that the “extra hour” of sunlight will damage the crops.

??

Our real newsletter is calledCategory Pirates ????

Much of the content is Different is lifted directly (or “inspired” greatly) from Category Pirates.


Idea for teenage entrepreneurs:

-Help small business set up QR codes to accept Apple Pay.

-Help small business create Short-form AI-powered marketing videos with? https://pictory.ai


Germany’s Vice Chancellor Robert Habeck powerful words about Israel & Jews.


There are (random) strategically placed spelling, grammar and formatting mistakes in this newsletter.

If you think Taylor Swift is breeding giant sharks with lasers on their heads to take control over beaches, then consider these strategic mistakes part of a secret code that unlocks Federal Government servers in Bumsquat Youdaho to the files that prove the The Statue of Limitations was created by Aliens.

If you’re not a Taylor Swift sharks person, the errors herein exist because Lochhead is lazy… and wants to write in an unfettered, real(ish) time way and an editor would slow the roll.

Please.

Pretty please.

Subscribe here to keep getting Different.

Lady Gaga named Germany's prettiest cow

Florida man proposes using rings stolen from other girlfriend, authorities say

Most people would rather be right Vs. being successful.

What’s it like to be “Queer In The C-Suite”? Meet Jim Fielding. Author of “All Pride, No Ego”.

Did you know starfish are body-less heads?


... this is the part of Different, that is like the very end of a movie...

….where some directors throw in silly crap-o-lla

(Did you know that Thomas Crapper - a British plumber popularized the modern toilet category? That's why you take a "take a crap". )

.....for their own entertainment purposes, because they assume by this point, people have left the theater...

...but for some reason you're still reading...

…and I'm still writing...


Everything is the way that it is, because somebody (like you) changed the way that it was.


Categories make brands.

(No AI Pin market. No Humane.)

(No Generative AI. No OpenAI)

Gaza could Have Been Singapore. Hamas Turned It Into ISIS?

If you're not enjoying this (different) newsletter, you're among the vast majority of people on planet earth.

If (by some breach of your better judgement) you are enjoying this Kentucky bourbon smooth read, with just the right level of AD/HD insanity…

you might get fired up about our real work:

books, paid/real newsletter, and/or podcasts.

Ever sit next to a loud chewer on a plane?

Or someone sneezing?

(without covering their mouth)

How about someone clipping their toe nails. Next to you. On a plane!?

Gaza could Have Been Singapore. Hamas Turned It Into ISIS?

Big Foot Lives: Colorado tourists share video a Bigfoot

Human Sperm adjust their swimming style


Marketing is sales at scale.


The 10 Most Convincing Bigfoot Sightings

The number of Californians ages 18 to 30 who reported having no sexual partners in the prior year reached a decade high of 38%.

Australia is wider than the moon.

It's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland. (the government doesn’t want them to be lonely)

Is this newsletter still going?

Is a business newsletter allowed to have all of this shit at the end?

It must be over soon?

Giraffes are 30 times more likely to get hit by lightning than people.


Subscribe to Category Pirates (our real newsletter) here.

You might like this deep dive into “The Value of Your Value”

Podcasts are the only media for authentic conversation.

Have you seen the UK dating show where people get fully fucking naked and they show it ALL?

(It’s a kids show ??)

Contrary to the rumors, This Different Newsletter is not associated with Cornell University.

We are in no-way-shape-or-form funded or produced by Cornell.

This Different Newsletter really ties the room together.

Never miss it. Subscribe here.

It is impossible for most people to lick their own elbow.

Hey, thanks for hanging out for the extra (silly) scooby snacks at the end...hope you have a legendary day…..

….let's hang out again soon ????????

Hold Fast.

Published by Category Pirates.

Sponsored By Bad Tuna Industries.

Makers of Bad Tuna Butt Wipes?

Tonille Miller

Transformation | Strategy Execution | Experience | Talent Strategy | Ex-PwC, KPMG & WTW

1 年

If we really want to get efficient, we can make the dog an ai/robot. Then we don't even need to feed it. ??

Jeff Frick

Engagement in an AI Driven, Asynchronous World | Builder | Top Voice | Video Virtuoso | Content Curator | Host, Turn the Lens podcast and Work 20XX podcast

1 年

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