The Office Dress Code

Last week, while updating which Poshmark items to sell, I pulled out a black business dress that I hadn't worn in three years. I really loved that dress. It was one of very few dresses that I actually took to a seamstress to get fitted, and yet it was collecting dust. I had forgotten about it, and I had forgotten why it was packed away in a garment bag with formal gowns I had no intention of wearing again. And then, when I tried it on to take the Poshmark cover picture, it all came back to me.

One Monday afternoon in September of 2018, I was pulled into the president's office at my part-time sales job to talk about the office dress code. I had been there for 2 years and I'd heard the general spiel from time to time: "If you would wear it to the gym or a nightclub don't wear it work." Fair enough, right? I thought nothing of it since I created a "closet by color" system 5 years prior with all of the business casual items I'd collected during fast fashion's hay day. Wearing gym clothes would never be an issue since I'd need to be prepared for sales meetings, and also since I never went to the gym. However, this particular in-house meeting was strictly about the dress code, and how I had violated it (Gasp!).

My female supervisor had "gotten some complaints" about how I was dressed at the most recent Luncheon. The Quarterly Friday Luncheons took place in a banquet hall. On Fridays, I wore pink to be casual, or black otherwise. This combination of the Luncheon being on Friday, and a bit more dressy than usual, inspired me to veer away from my standard M-F closet selection. I would pull from my black business suits or black business dresses. I wondered if this departure from the 47 dresses and 2 skirts that I'd been seen in for the past 100+ days caused an uproar, or if the dress itself was inappropriate. I listened in shock as my outfit was described.

The president's story went something like this: "at the Luncheon when the team was setting up the step-and-repeat and you came over to help... you were bending over and then lifting your arms up and the dress was very tight and very short... and the AV guys were directly behind you just watching as you would bend down and stretch up... and overall it wasn't appropriate attire. What you have on now was fine, but we have had these complaints before."

I have to admit, this was a very entertaining story. I remembered trying to help the struggling events team lift that banner. I wasn't mindful of anyone watching me or that it's not the best idea to do manual labor while wearing a dress. At some point, I realized that I needed to respond to this man with either an explanation or validation. Was I to respond that it was my fault that the AV guys were looking at me? Of course! Because it couldn't be their fault right? Or maybe the dress appeared shorter when I lifted my arms, yeah maybe that was it! Or... was it even more disturbing that the president was watching the guys watch me? And subsequently made the decision that it was a better idea to wait a few weeks to bring this up in a spotlight interrogation instead of addressing them immediately.

But before I even had a chance to respond, the female supervisor chimed in: "We are just trying to understand why you don't get it. Can you not afford new clothes?" Yes, that was a real question that came out of her mouth. Shock is a good thing. Shock gives one 'pause', to not state a thought before one has formulated it completely. I am grateful that the president stepped in to say that the question was not necessary. Looking back, no response would've been acceptable. If I would have said: "Yes I can afford new clothes but just don't wear them here" that would be disrespectful. If I would have said: "No, I cannot afford new clothes" it would have either been seen as sarcasm or as a jab at their poverty adjacent hourly wages.

In general, I was baffled at how this particular dress could have been perceived as "very short and very tight". I am a size zero, nothing is tight. Flashback to my high school days when girls would get sent to the principal's office and then sent home if their hemline rose above their four fingers. They would shrug their shoulders up to their ears to avoid punishment. This was an issue because the skirts sold off the rack didn't leave much room for wide hips. The curvy girls would always get the short end of the stick! However, I didn't have this issue!! What was wrong with my dress? Or was there something about me that deemed this cap-sleeved impeccably tailored black panel dress as inappropriate?

So I got to thinking... in a small office of nine women and three men, why would I be singled out about the dress code? What made me so different from everyone else there? Well, I was definitely the smallest at a size zero.... and I also happened to be the only black woman on staff... Could it be that even child-sized black women can be hyper-sexualized in the office setting as I have heard about from my peers? Is it possible that the objectification of the individual can make the dress appear shorter, even when all other dresses have been the same dress length for 2+ years? HOLY HELL, can the over-sexualized dehumanization of Black women take precedence over having a "baby face" or a semi-stick-figure-XXS-body???

After not signing that disciplinary paper, I went home and contemplated the above questions. I came to the conclusion that it could happen to anyone... anyone who is a black woman. Micro-aggressions and inherent biases lead to the policing of black women's bodies. Question one's dress and you question one's judgement, competency, and one's suitability for that environment. This is just another example of systemic racism in corporate America that hundreds of thousands of professionals have to deal with on a daily basis. Notice I said hundreds of thousands instead of millions, because a record number of black women have fled the workforce to start their own companies. Hmmm, I WONDER WHY?

Clearly, the issue was not the dress, but what body was in it.

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