Office Banter: how much is too much?

BANTER?

noun

1.  the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.

verb

1.  exchange remarks in a good-humoured teasing way.

“Friendly” and “good-humoured” would suggest harmless fun; but what about the common denominator in the two above definitions? Office banter is a huge part of the culture in a modern workplace. With attitudes towards dress code and working hours more relaxed than ever, it’s not a surprise that internal communications have followed in the footsteps of the other aspects of working life. However, whilst awareness and focus on inclusiveness and equality is increasing, there are still many situations where the difference in people’s views on humour can land them in serious trouble.

So let’s break this down and focus on what the two definitions have in common:

TEASING

adjective

1.  intended to provoke or make fun of someone in a playful way.

"teasing comments"

We could focus on the fact that someone’s intentions are good: they didn’t intend to seriously offend or insult someone so their conscience should remain clear, shouldn’t it? Or should it? You see, the problem with teasing someone – or intending to provoke or make fun of them – is that you don’t know whether your version of ‘playful’ is the same as theirs. We often hear of companies who say that their employees are all like ‘one big family’ – but therein can lie the problem.

Your colleagues are not your family (in most cases, anyway): they haven’t sat around the Christmas dinner table with you taking the mick out of Auntie Sharon’s soggy Yorkshire pud and they don’t understand the context behind why everyone calls your Dad Beer Barrel Barry (although they could probably have a pretty good guess). Your family do – and that’s why you often fall into bad habits with family members and are able to speak with them in a relaxed (and sometimes not all-that-polite) manner. But we’re not talking about your family – we’re talking about a group of people who just so happen to have chosen the same company as you to work for but have often grown up in incredibly different environments. Different cultures, nationalities and households are accustomed to different types of humour and something that may be deemed acceptable to you, may not be to the person you sit next to.

So how much is too much and how can we reduce the risk of missing the mark when it comes to office banter? We’ve come up with a few key points that should guide you in the right direction:

Consider how someone else may receive your comments. More often that not, your intention is entirely irrelevant if you end up offending someone. You might not have meant anything untoward by your remarks, but once you’ve made them - if someone receives them in a way other than you intended - you could find yourself in hot water. Ask yourself if you would make the same remarks on national TV and what the backlash would be if you were to do so. Hopefully in most cases this would stop you from saying anything you shouldn't; if it doesn't, I'm not sure any amount of advice can help here(!)

The Protected Characteristics are there for a reason. Under the Equality Act 2010 it is against the law to discriminate against anyone for their age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation. If you make comments towards someone which directly or indirectly draw on any of these characteristics, it’s incredibly likely that you’ll end up offending someone. "Well I say it to my mates and they think it's funny".

Not your mates and not funny.

Don’t use making fun of someone as your default form of humour. There are plenty of ways to have a laugh and a joke with someone without it being at the expense of someone else. Think about jokes that don’t make fun of personal attributes or put people down. Even if you feel what you’re saying is funny, you never know how your comments may received by those who they’re aimed at. If you’re about to say something and you cannot say for 100% that is not going to offend someone, the likelihood is that it will.

So how do you monitor and decide when banter is too much and is there ever a one-size-fits-all approach?