Off with his Head!! The 2019 MET?Gala.

Off with his Head!! The 2019 MET?Gala.

The first Monday in May. A day that from this point forward will live in fashion infamy, thanks to the 2019 MET Gala. A gala organized by none other than Anna Wintour, a fashion deity — or OG — who declared the MET Costume Institute her own a few years ago by renaming it, and has succeeded in creating the legendary red carpet entrance for celebrities and assorted international glitterati.

Where does one begin to analyze the lasting effect of this year’s celebrity arrivals? The theme of the exhibit is CAMP. CAMP as in ironic style, not as Camp-style, filled with sleeping bags and Woolrich plaids. CAMP as in Cher and Bob Mackie and David Bowie, and other true legends of the genre. Because of the apparent intellectual stretch of the concept this year, the theme of the exhibit required some academic correlation. According to Andrew Bolton, the Institute’s director, CAMP was inspired by Susan Sontag’s essay on the aesthetic movement, an interpretation expressed by a fascinating and talented writer.

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Wintour’s unparalleled commercial timing and sensibilities required a MET show to attract the Gucci juggernaut, and by God, she was going to have it. Andrew Bolton obliged her by creating a show around this “pitch”. To be fair, Fashion in the last few seasons offered plenty of examples that can be classified as CAMP. Alessandro Michele is not the only designer to push the bad taste envelope further than any designer since the 1970s. Bertrand Guyon at Schiaparelli, Pier Paolo Piccioli at Valentino and Michael Halpern, among others, all powered through the past seasons flying their own Freak Flags and getting lauded for many of their collections as a result.

But nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared us for the guests who arrived at the MET, “interpreting” CAMP through their own creativity.

 And that creativity often reached horrifying new heights. 

 On E!, Brad Gorecki’s usual self-important commentary added a tasteless layering to the proceedings, affectedly pronouncing designer names in native accent (Vouittton!), declaring fashion “Moments” that were simply nonexistent, a plastic-enthusiastic cheerleader voice from a studio across town. Yet it was a fitting accompaniment to the scary and hilarious images of the arrivals on the TV screen.

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The curtain went up with Lady Gaga’s and Brandon Maxwell’s authentic and campy performance that actually had something appropriate with the evening’s theme. It was a 10-minute striptease that ended with Lady Gaga in underwear and 10-inch heels on the steps to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Well, if that doesn’t spell Fashion with a capital F, nothing does.

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Kim Kardashian, the fashion “icon”, got Thierry Mugler — a truly talented couturier in his own right — to dress her as if she had just completed the ice bucket challenge. The notes said, Mugler was inspired by the movie the Boy and the Dolphin and Sophia Loren coming out of the ocean, dripping. Who is the person who convinced KKW she is the Sophia Loren of our time? As expected, Kim was accompanied by Kanye West, dressed as an elevator repairman (was that a costume? Was it Camp?) in Dickies.

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Pier Paolo Piccioli from Valentino arrived with Joan Collins — was she ever Camp? — and Julianne Moore — never Camp — Mark Ronson and Naomi Campbell. The days of the single date seem to be over. Bring me your poor, huddled fashion masses to the Ball. And dress them in Valentino, please! I imagined hearing Andre Leon Talley’s gleeful cackle from an inside room, watching the monitors, saying: “Darling, this is Fabulous!”.

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Alessandro Michele, who after Monday should probably be arrested, rather than celebrated, by the Fashion Police, showed up with Harry Styles as his muse/date. Harry Styles in a Gucci menswear look with high-waisted flamenco pants, chiffon blouse (blouse!), with ruffles and earrings. Maybe it was me, but Harry occasionally looked horrified. He must have seen Jared Leto approaching, with his Gucci severed head accessory in his arm. Jared Leto was in a fashion “Moment”. I wondered if he tried to check the head along with the coat before dinner. Was the head a plus one? We will never know.

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This fashion rant would not be complete without mentioning Prada’s egregious offenses against modern menswear. The new men’s suit is a military uniform — recently done by Kim Jones at Dior — accompanied by enough pockets to hide sophisticated weaponry. Prada’s uniform has haunted us off and on for two decades already. Gentlemen, it’s ok to wear a tux. You are neither a paratrooper nor a terrorist. If you are there, you are probably a hip hop artist aspiring to marry a Kardashian. And remember you are on hallowed ground at the MET.

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Franco Moschino was the Italian designer who gave Camp Fashion street-cred. Moschino’s clothes were always impeccably made, with clever details, and were copied by other, more serious designers, like Dolce & Gabbana and even Chanel. Moschino’s authentic satyrical take on serious fashion did not translate very well when Jeremy Scott took over the brand’s design helm. Scott’s fashion take of Moschino is less sly and gaudier than Franco’s. Scott’s designs appeared on this year’s red carpet, and they were the only ones deserving an appearance since the brand’s history was really founded on Camp.

Katy Perry’s two-part dim-witted fashion statement included a lit chandelier and a hamburger suit for the after party. A hamburger suit. At the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I am starting to miss the PETA people who throw red paint on women wearing fur. They were needed to be at the MET last night. 

Watching this parade of world-class narcissism, the evening found me becoming increasingly infuriated at Anna Wintour who has permitted this display of worthless extravagance to amplify through the years. The MET ball is now a runway of bad taste, commercial placements, and a Cosa Nostra mentality in a fashion system that celebrates not the unique and individualistic, but the badly behaved excesses of the people who rule it. Do these celebrities need yet another red carpet in their already busy year of appearances? Or should we blame the stylists and publicists who fuel such behavior?

 Fashion publicists go through elaborate terminology trying to justify inspirations that tie them to each house’s past in order to make them appear brand-cohesive. From this day forward, let’s just agree to call Ugly what it is and let that be the rallying cry of all future “Freaks” and “Monsters”. Shame on Anna Wintour for allowing this display to clutter our airwaves for several days already, for belittling the legacy of that institution through continuous tawdry displays, and for insisting on celebrating rather than take to task those who are outright ignorant and disrespectful. 

 The Costume Institute is not a Halloween Costume Institute. It is an important organization chronicling not just fashion and style through the centuries, but also design, innovation, craftsmanship and cultural mores as expressed through clothing. Shouldn’t there be instructions to that effect printed on the Gala’s invitation? Does the MET Gala belong in May or in October?

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Simoudis I D develops brand identity, brand strategy, and digital marketing programs for exceptional brands. Our publication, Luxe Trends, provides expert Monitoring, Analysis, and Curation of the Luxury industry.

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