The Odyssey #spirituality; #mental health; #Christianity
"Sloughing Towards Galilee!"
May 9, 2024
The Feast of the Ascension!
The Odyssey!
Poet C. P. Cavafy (1863–1933) expressed this understanding most beautifully in his famous poem “Ithaca”:??
Ithaca has now given you the beautiful voyage.?? Without her, you would never have taken the road.? With the great wisdom you have gained on your voyage,?? with so much of your own experience now,?? you must finally know what Ithaca really means. [1]??
National Mental Health Month!
During this "Mental Health Month" I am reflecting upon my journey. Raised in a small southern town we never heard the term "mental health", depression, too was never talked about, and seeing a psychiatrist. "O my god", you are crazy.
There were no therapists within 300 miles. When I was caught acting out sexually with a fellow adolescent at fifteen my pastor, a conservative man, brought my "sin" forth in a sermon, shaming me, and my mom took me to a shrink, of course, no one knew. And what did he do: gave me anti-depressants. All he said as he wrote the prescription was "masturbation is normal, just don't get caught."?? And so the shame continued and continued for many years to come.
And so began my "Odyssey", where I sunk into "darkness", and depression, and suffered with it for years. Being called to ministry I played the game of being "straight", and my depression became worse, until I came "out", and my "odyssey" continued onto the streets of L.A., with a good therapist, and finally here in San Francisco, where I had a caring shrink for 15 years, who through therapy and meds, opened my life up to new fields of joy! And the "odyssey' continued!
Shame was always a large part of my life, largely from my religious upbringing, but the positive was I had encountered the living Christ and through experiencing his grace of freedom, knowing that he loved me no matter what, and called me to ministry was my salvation!
My former denomination within days after coming out removed me from my parish, tried to stick me into conversion therapy, and my many, many friends stopped speaking to me and turned their backs on me. Talk about shaming!
When I returned to ministry in a queer church what I found was they wanted to duplicate the straight church as far as they could, and thus began my process of decentralization. In so doing, they were inadvertently continuing the process of shaming. The biggest blessing I was given was being ordained a bishop (to get rid of me)? and forming the Society of Franciscan Workers, Inc.
And thus my "odyssey" continued into "coming home"! Respecting others wherever they stand! I view the Church, and on Ascension Day we are reminded of Christ "ascending" to his Father symbolically to become the head of the church. A church of love and grace. He became the Cosmic Christ, embracing all without judgment. My faith is in the Universal Christ, the One who is a part of all expressions of God, and in non-expressions, the One who is found in loving our neighbor as ourselves.
I was "spiritually" homesick for years, it was a dulling grief. It was not depression, so much as an uncomfortable unknowing that I was coming to the end of one thing and the beginning of the next. It was fearful and yet joyful.
For me this journey of mental health has been returning home to where God dwells, I'm no longer interested in making it a quick visit so I can run back to the world of "what other people think" and " what I can get done".
Today I simply "listen" to others, without judgment; I have no judgment on anyone, seeing all as children of the Divine.
Leaving the first half of my life was scary. Most of us have the first half of life hustle down. The thing is, I am just never, never homesick for the first half of life. . because it has never really been my true home!
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领英推荐
Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.
Post Office Box 642656
San Francisco, CA 94164
415-305-2124
Fr. River Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.
Director
Prayer of St. Brendan!
"Help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown.
Give me the faith to leave old ways and break fresh ground with You. Christ of the mysteries I trust in You to be stronger than each storm within me.
I will trust in the darkness and know that my times, even now, are in Your hands.
Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,
and somehow, make my obedience count for You"
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(Temenos and Fr. River seek to remain accessible to everyone. We do not endorse particular causes, political parties, or candidates, or take part in public controversies, whether religious, political or social--Our pastoral ministry is to everyone!
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